My son left home and he is another state and Homeless. What is the Next step

He is calling me from other people phone and all his calls are showing as private.
His phone is blackberry and he took out the SIM Card from his phone.
he is afraid the Cops will track him.
he has been calling me in the past 4 nights. still not telling where he is and when he is planning to come back.
I am going to the bank Today so I would know his last Transactions.

Thanks for all the tips.
I checked his last Transactions last weeks and he was in Tucson, AZ. I will check again today.

Hopefully, heā€™ll accept some help soon. Iā€™m sorry.

I Hope so. Please keep us in your prayers.

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Okay, thatā€™s great. No problem, I hope he has a change of heart and is more receptive to communication and help soon.

do you think he will have a change of heart. he sent me an email yesterday that he needs $40 for food and he emailed me his Wells fargo account. I knew that has recently opened new Wells fargo account from mailing I received from Wells fargo. I called online Banking and they told him the last 10 transactions location. last few transaction was in Concord, CA and Walnut Creek, CA. my Son was raised in Concord, CA until the age of 11 then we moved to Little Rock in 2004. I deposited $50.00 using my BOFA Online pay,

Do you think I should keep depositing $ to his Wells fargo Account like $50 per week but until when?
Police had told me before to give $ and some relatives are telling not to give $ and this way he would be force
to come back?

Not sure what to do?

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I think he can, but also have him call you. If you said heā€™s in Arizona now and you can track an approximate location, check all the Well Fargo banks nearby on the map. If he gave you the account number, you can go the police to and have them track the debit/credit card and place where the account was initially opened. Chances are heā€™ll pop up there again. If he sent an email and is homeless, unless he has a laptop, heā€™s using a public library and maybe they can track him that way too. I wouldnā€™t give him more than $50 of food per week that way he wonā€™t waste it on any drugs out there. Is he legally disabled? If he isnā€™t, you can use that to pull him in. Tell him to come home and that youā€™ll help him get his own place somewhere nearby, that he can stay with you just until he can get back up on his feet. Tell him to come home and that way you can go to the Social Security together and that you can apply together. Tell him heā€™ll receive food stamps and at least $733 monthly to live. If he says heā€™ll just apply on his own there, tell him that he canā€™t because you have the documentation necessary at your house (birth certificate, passport, state ID, etc.) and that he needs to have an advocate (friend or family member) present who knows about his condition (not true, but they do ask to give a number in the papers, itā€™s just something to pull him in). Thatā€™s what I would do. He may or may not stay home, but at least heā€™ll remain in the same state as you and within close distance where you can keep tabs on him and get him the help that he needs.

I think its okay to provide small amounts. Maybe tell him you will deposit $10 / day but only if he calls you and speaks reasonably with you. Just so you know he is okay. If the transfer doesnā€™t cost too much. That will get him enough food to keep him going anyway.

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These all valid points. the issue is that his mind tells him that he does not want to live in Arkansas and he would rather be Homeless in California. will follow up with his Wells Fargo Bank transactions every couple days and report it to police as well. I am becoming a Detective.

I sent an email about helping him to follow up with Social Security on his application, he replied that he does not want to get Social Security.

I just sent an email: How do will you eat and survive? still has not got an answer from him yet.

this is really frustrating!

I did that last year July 2015 when he was going from Airport to Airport then he was hospitalized for a week
and in November 2015, he was court ordered in Little Rock, AR & was hospitalized for 5 weeks.
As soon as the court order expired, he stopped meds then another episode started again from Airport to Airport until he was hospitalized with 2 different hospitals in CA: Fremont, CA ( 10 days) first then Stanford, CA( 2 months and 1/2). he get out from Stanford end of June and was ordered to go to a Rehab.
My Son was calling me often from the Rehab and asking me to get him out and he accepted all my conditions then his temporary conservator called and said that he is Ok to go back home.

I accepted him and flew to my home August 8 then stopped meds. after one week and left home 09/26 since he has been not on his meds for more than 6 weeks and the cycle is starting all over again.

I should had never fall for his request to get out of Rehab.

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he is so Sick!

his reply to my question:How do will you eat and survive? is an very bad answer

you you monkey bitch are going to give me money!

Well maybe he genuinely doesnā€™t like living in Arkansas, however I think that in time he will realize that he cannot be there for long and without help. It will rain and other environmental factors will show him how difficult life on the streets is. Eventually he will come back. That last email you sent is good because it will make him realize that he canā€™t always depend on you for money or food, but that he does need you. Has he got any social media too? Maybe one of his friends know where he is.

Update: Nvm. Tell him you wonā€™t send him any more money and seriously cut him off. That is unacceptable. If he wants help, financial or mental, heā€™s going to have to come back or stay where he is.

Also, what you can do, call the Arizona police department, send them a picture and have a warrant out for his arrest. Say heā€™s dangerous off his medications and severely deranged so that they can take you seriously. Then they can institutionalize him and you can go get him back if you want to.

Been there. I can only feel the greatest sympathy for you.

So he is not in AZ? He is calling daily? If he is hospitalized and given medication he has a much higher chance of getting Help in all forms. This will continue to be a financial drain and you should look at SSI and Medicaid eventually. Weā€™ll continue to pray for both of you.

I think that he is Concord, CA since the last few banking Transactions were made on 10/08 in Concord.
Called the police and he made a Report of a missing person. I gave them as much info as needed: Bank account #,
last Transactions location, DOB, how he looks. All the bad language he told me and how belligerent he is toward me?

They told me all they can do that if we find him, we will ask few questions if he needs help.
they said that they cannot take to a hospital unless they evaluate him and if he is proven to be dangerous
to himself or others.
This is the same story I heard many times from Police.

I guess, I will wait to see if he changes his mind.
it will be hard to cut him totally off. I just cannot punish him by starving him.
He is probably not aware of what is going on with himā€¦

Will prayer about it. Hope God will give a hint on how to deal with him.

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Thanks. keep us in your prayers and thought.

Yes, he is in Concord, CA. he is lying
Calling daily and verbally abusive whenever I ask him to come back and get back on his medicine or to follow with is SSI.
Thanks for you prayers.
Will pray for your son as well.

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They will obviously see heā€™s in a bad state when they find him and will eventually have to take him in. That being said, I know itā€™s hard, but you have to cut him off. The only reason that my fiancĆ© talks to his mother and grandparents is for money. Heā€™s disabled and sheā€™s the payee as he cannot handle money and will spend it in a day, so she manages it. He depends on her in that way and whenever he wants something heā€™ll call her or his grandparents and theyā€™ll send it to him. Thatā€™s as close as a relationship that they have because to him theyā€™re mostly just a transaction to him. He cares about them in the way of attachment, but not enough to be communicative, visit them, or have any social niceties. You have to cut him off. He knows he needs you. He expects you to send him money and will use this to manipulate you. Once he sees that he cannot, he will have no choice but to come back and beg and it will be on your terms. I hate to say it, but my fiancĆ© is and has been in the past just like your son. They can be manipulative, offensive, cold-hearted, abusive, delirious, and prone to addictive behaviors and habits. And itā€™s not acceptable, Iā€™ve been through it, trust me. If you donā€™t set boundaries now, thatā€™s all youā€™ll ever be to him again, a bank account.

I think you have a good point. I have heard the same from some of my relatives that he will not grow up until I cut him off.
he is my only son, but I think I should try tough love.
but my heart tells me that he is sick and not able to help himself.

I told him many times about if I have a car accident and I cannot work, what would you do?
he would reply that it would better since I do not have to chase him any more and I will give in to him and spend my retirement saving and later my social security $.

his answers are different when he is on Meds. he would say I would worry about you a lot if something happens to you and I do not want you to be harmed, etc.
Yes, he is manipulative, offensive and abusive when he is not on Medicine. But some meds like ā€œZyprexaā€ caused him some negative emotions like fears and he wanted to hide his face whenever he rides in the car with me. The latest medicine from Stanford were better, but still he was thinking that some people on facebook were searching for him to get himā€¦ I had to convince him that all of this is from his imaginationā€¦

Overall, the medicine controls about 75% of the sickness and get him to think more logically? which a good percentage.

I understand that your fiance is not acting now the way you described.
so, how long has he been taking Medicine?
do you think the sickness goes into remission when someone is older than 40?
does it get better with age?

sorry if I am asking many questions?

Donā€™t worry about asking any amount of questions, weā€™re all here to gain knowledge of the diseases that plague our loved ones and how to help them.

My fiancĆ© is 22 and has never taken medicine in his whole entire life, asides an antidepressant he was on for a little while. Iā€™m here because Iā€™ve been looking for something that I can give him since he has delusional beliefs. The reason that heā€™s better now is because I had to put breaks in the relationship 8 months in because he increasingly became emotionally and mentally abusive, withdrawn, distant, delusional, psychotic, and was constantly breaking up with me and then I had enough. It was so bad to the point that I was suicidal and I broke it off. We got back together later, but under many conditions and agreements between the both of us and the relationship has been good ever since. He still hears 15 voices and ocassionally hallucinates, but the positives have been as followed: I got him to quit his video games (thatā€™s all he would do all that, obsessively), he quit drugs (weed + meth at the time), he started eating (6ā€™5 weighing 132 lbs at the time, heā€™s gained some weight now and looks and feels healthier), still refuses to drink water of his own volition, but will drink it if I tell him to, and he no longer will drink his own blood. Basically he still has it, but at least heā€™s no longer an asshole and heā€™s being nicer to his family when they call. If you check here and read my replies you will see the situation: Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

All I have done is love, support him, and been honest with him about everything. I think itā€™s important for individuals with mental illnesses to have partners that can be supportive and caring in their lives, I think it helps a lot. Some family members are absolutely wonderful, but there are different kinds of love. They want to feel accepted, be understood, and have somebody they can share their life with, their passion, and their thoughts and emotions. Who doesnā€™t, right?

From what Iā€™ve known my whole life, it does not get better with age, schizophrenia gets worse if left untreated. Someone told me that Schizoaffective got better with age since it develops differently, but in the 30-40 years of age. Schizophrenia runs in my momā€™s side of the family; I have a great-aunt whoā€™s locked in a psychiatric ward for life, her brother committed suicide, and I know there was another person, but I never met them because it way before I was born.

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