My son left home and he is another state and Homeless. What is the Next step

This is the letter that his mom wrote to me when I asked her for help with him because I had no idea what to do and it was really affecting the relationship, but it only got worse. I felt pretty much hopeless after that, but I never gave up on him. The second (1st, album order) is an example of the kind of things he would write and say to me. When seeing what your son wrote, it reminded me of everything he used to say and I literally still cannot grasp how anybody could say those things to someone.

I have read many times that finding love is the single greatest help to someone with any mental illness. I wish it for my son but it scares me to death to think of him fathering a child. I donā€™t mean to be negative but I have counted the fact that he has no children a blessing.

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I get that. His mom also fears that and has spoke to him several times about not having children while being young because she had him when she was younger than him and the dad never took responsibility. So she knows how difficult raising a child can be, especially alone. She got married after he was 8 and then her husband adopted him. He knows how hard it is too. Initially he wanted children, but now he wants to wait until heā€™s older. I donā€™t want any at all, never have or will, especially if heā€™s not stable to take care of them or support them. Some mothers die during childbirth. What would happen if I died and then he was left with a child alone? I donā€™t think heā€™s capable of dealing with that. :sweat:

Thanks so much for sharing. I am going to read all this in more details at lunch. Got busy at work.
you gave me great tipsā€¦ will get to you laterā€¦

No problem at all. Have a lovely day! :slight_smile:

I wish my son will find love. I have encouraging him to seek a woman to love. he keeps on saying when he gets better, he will.

You are really a blessing in his life. you made a big difference for the family.
you are an Angel sent from God to him and his mother.
I wish my son will meet a woman like you. May be this would the key to his happiness!

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Thank you, I hope he does too! :slight_smile:

it seems like then they can get better without medicine with love and support.
My son was diagnosed with Paranoid and Schizoaffective disorder. Not sure if he is a Paranoid/schizophrenia.
He has a strong belief that he does not need medicine and he is OK.
but the issue with confrontation had started one year and 1/2. he would meet someone and if he does not like him or her, then he starts to have a headache is he is does not confront that person. he feels the need to Curse at the person to release his anger.
when is not on meds, he curses at me a lot and the whole family. the medicine controls the ā€œTouretteā€ Symptom.
He also thinks he is the greatest gift to all of usā€¦ because he is the only GrandSon ( my dad has another Granddaughter who is now 2 years of age.)

he has Grandiose feeling that he is better than me in terms of being innocent of not having relationships. He accused me that i dated several man in my life and to him this is bad and not clean. I think he confused between the Middle Eatern Culture an American Culture.

he was brought up with his grandmother who was highly critical of me. Now, he grandmother passed away and he loved her so much and still cherish her memory.
He is also not on good terms with his uncle in California, he calls him Gay because he is living with another male roommate and a female roommate.
He hates his other uncleā€™s wife in Virginia because she is confronts him and voice her opinion on his behavior and she has kicked him of the house several times.

I still think he does need medicine to be able to functionā€¦

Since you Fiance is not on psychosis medication. do you think someone with mental illness can get better without medicine, with just with love and support.

Anyone can have a better life if they have someone who loves and supports them, but that does not change the fact that they will need medication to control their illness, especially if itā€™s in the Cluster A Personality Disorders. My fiancĆ© is the same way, heā€™s been diagnosed with Aspergerā€™s Syndrome, Schizoaffective Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder. When he sees people or they talk, to him it translates to, ā€œTheyā€™re telling me to kill myself. They want to kill me. They donā€™t like me; that dude looked at me with a crazy eye.ā€ The grandiose beliefs are also present; heā€™s thought heā€™s God, that everything he does will affect the world greatly, that heā€™s meant to change the world. Because heā€™s a genius, heā€™s had times where he says things like, ā€œIā€™m right, youā€™re wrong. Iā€™m the only one whoā€™s educated. Debate me.ā€ Heā€™s nearly always wrong, but will rarely ever admit it. Tell someone theyā€™re smart their whole life and theyā€™ll end up believing it. During the time, I taught him to say ā€œIā€™m sorryā€ to people when he says or does something inappropriate because in his life he never apologized to anyone for anything, itā€™s like the concept of guilt did not exist to him. He says things about people that arenā€™t true often. He used to think I was a government agent/spy and was out to kill him, a few weeks ago his friend told me he said he thinks I secretly work for the government.

There are some illnesses that can get better or be cured within time and with love and support, but I really donā€™t believe that schizophrenia is one them based on what Iā€™ve experienced with my family. For example, Iā€™ve been diagnosed with Aspergerā€™s Syndrome, Major Depressive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Social Anxiety. Because Iā€™ve had someone to talk to (him), my social anxiety has decreased over time and I can go out without having a panic attack. I think Iā€™ve finally mastered all social cues and how to act, itā€™s expressing emotions physically (facial) which I still struggle with. My depression has decreased significantly. I had a suicide attempt when I was 15 and was on different SSRIs for 9 months until the psychiatrist and I felt that I was okay without them. I still feel depressed here and there, but Iā€™m no longer suicidal or crying diurnally. The PTSD, I think that may always remain due to the abuse I experienced at home as a kid. Some of these things I have worked out on my own throughout the years, but having someone who loves and supports me has helped immensely. A lot of the times individuals with mental illnesses feel useless and dependent, but what they donā€™t realize is that other people need their help too. Thatā€™s why Iā€™m going to end up to studying either psychology or neurology, so that I can help others who have been through the same experiences as I have or have similar issues. Everyone experiences pain differently and different types of pain, but pain is still pain. I can relate to others in that way.

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Doctor, thank you for your unique insight and for sharing.

Is that why you use the name Doctor?

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Anytime, I know how difficult it is to go through this alone and to not have anyone to talk to. Itā€™s nice to hear other peopleā€™s experiences, it makes you feel that youā€™re not that alone in your fight. Yes and no; I was having difficulty coming up with a name and I just put that in the username and I thought it was funny, so I said, ā€œWhy not?ā€ Itā€™ll be appropriate later anyway, I know for a fact that Iā€™ll end up in a medical field because science has always been my passion.

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Dotor is a good choice of name since you will be aimed toward getting your physiatrist degree in future.

I am blessed to have all you especially Doctor to educate me on the mental illness. As much as we think we know, it would still hard to deal with the person who is carrying the illness. Only with Love, care and Support, we may be able to conquer this illness.

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[quote=ā€œMom2, post:53, topic:2708ā€]
I agree with Mon2. Doctor thank you for sharing your experience. it is valuable.

Doctor, Thanks for sharing your situation.

what are different SSRIs ?
were you diagnosed with the same physiatrist for all these above conditions. I have heard that some people were misdiagnosed.
would be better if a patient get 2 opinions from 2 different physiatrists to compare diagnosis resultsā€¦
I am just wondering on what kind of evaluation or tests do the physiatrist do to figure out what conditions someone has?

I understand from several people in this field that knowing the exact symptoms is not conclusive and doctors has to try different medicine to see what is the best combination that works with patient. In the process, someone can get overdose in the process.

My son Heart pulse went to 147 during one week while he was in Stanford Hospital. They were trying different medicine on him and must had kept him on prior medicine then added another one.
He called me and said: are you all leaving to die by myself. I felt so guilty and heart broken at that time and start calling nurses, doctors, case managers like crazyā€¦ I wanted to fly to CALIF in the same day to go see himā€¦ but with prayers and godā€™s help he heart rate get adjusted.
Every time he thinks about that week, he get anxious. I am also worried that this can get repeated in another Hospital. last combination of medicine worked OK with him and get him more stable.
Also, I was told by social worker on the field that the medicine does not get rid of all the symptoms. it just control the symptoms about 75% of the time.

How did he end up trusting you?

What does you Fiance do for living? did he get his university degree? in what?

How heā€™s a genius? did he discover something New in the field of : Science, Math, medicine or any other field ?

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Itā€™s no problem at all and thank you. Iā€™ve been on Duloxetine (Cymbalta), Escitalopram (Lexapro), Flouxetine (Prozac), and Sertraline (Zoloft). For insomnia Iā€™ve taken Hydroxyzine, Risperidone (Risperidal), Mirtazapine (Remeron), Melatonin, and Trazodone. The only SSRIs that worked for me tenporarily were Prozac and Zoloft; the sleeping pills caused me to faint frequently and dropped my blood pressure severely, unable to walk for days ā€“ Hydroxyzine & Melatonin had no effect, but Risperidone caused me to have a seizure. No, I wasnā€™t diagnosed by the same psychiatrist with all my conditions. Aspergerā€™s Syndrome (now called Autism Spectrum Disorder or High-Functioning Autism if one had Aspergerā€™s as of 2013) was when I was 3 years old diagnosed by a psychologist. MDD was diagnosed when I was 15 by several psychologists and a psychiatrist in the hospital after a suicide attempt. All the other psychologists and psychiatrists have concurred. Another psychologist diagnosed me with PTSD. Then at another clinic I was diagnosed with social anxiety after filling out a test that they gave me. I have insomnia, but thatā€™s been diagnosed since I was 10 when I went to see a psychologist for sleep disorders and then I also have parasomnia, diagnosed by both a psychiatrist and a neurologist. Yeah, I think itā€™s always good to get different opinions from other doctors, each oneā€™s input could be useful and insightful. Psychiatrists and psychologists will ask you about your symptoms, but they also give you long questionnaires to fill out. If the individual cannot, then theyā€™ll just talk to them or do activities to see the childā€™s progress and development. A neurologist can also do an MRI and see specifically what kind of brain the patient has to a contributing illness (e.g. I have asymmetry in my right temporal lobe, to which my neurologist just said it meant that I thought differently than other people and had to do with speech = Autism [different thought process + stuttering problem and barely spoke as kid; I still have the stuttering, but only ocassionally ā€“ there were periods where I wouldnā€™t talk at all unless spoken to or was mute up until 7th grade. I still donā€™t enjoy talking, but I can have a normal conversation with anybody on any topic.]). Yeah, I understand the BPM, mine would drop instead of being agitated down to 30 BPM. My fiancĆ© ended up trusting me over time because I was honest with him and not a kiss up. Heā€™s Internet famous and everyone would either stalk him, offend him, vex him, or message him to have ā€œintellectual conversationsā€ or send confessions of love and I never did any of that when I met him nor after. If the table was blue and he saw red, other people would tell him it was red to please him, but I would say, ā€œNo, the table is blue.ā€ I never cared that he was famous and that didnā€™t give the right to have special treatment from me or from anyone else. Heā€™s disabled, he canā€™t work because he canā€™t thrive in a social environment and also has delusions about other people and their intentions or what they think and feel. He receives $300 in revenue from one of the videos that he made which has 6,169,630 views as I currently write this. He went to college for 9 months and was going to study filmmaking, but dropped out because he said he wasnā€™t learning anything and he could no longer stay in a social environment. A while later he had a psychotic breakdown and was hospitalized for 3 days, he threatened to kill himself and to stab his family with knives (he told me a different story, this is what his grandmother said). They had to put a chair behind his door at night because they were afraid and then they kicked him out a few months later because they believed him to be dangerous and they have two younger children they had to take care of. He didnā€™t discover anything per say, but you do IQ testing with a psychologist and then they diagnose you and tell you what you have and your intelligence capacity. Iā€™m one too. A good amount of the kids who have Aspergerā€™s Syndrome are geniuses. Some excel in science or mathematics, while others in writing, art, or music. My fiancĆ© has been considered to be a musical genius, heā€™s not good in math and he doesnā€™t believe in science (other delusional beliefs), but heā€™s extremely good at playing intruments and with words; he learned to play the drums professionally in two weeks, for example.

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