My son left home and he is another state and Homeless. What is the Next step

Doctor, Thanks so much for sharing your story and the insight of different mental illness and medicine.
My son was taking some of the medicine you were taking like: Escitalopram,Hydroxyzine, Risperidone (Risperidal)
in the past several months prior to his escape, he was on Lithium, Paliperdone,Escitalopram and Hydroxyzine.

Things seem to be working well between your and your Fiance. in spite all the past events, you are holding strongly together. More positive things will happens to both of youā€¦
The videos revenues is a great income stream.

I am an IT professional myself and there is $ to me made in the Computer Industry.
you do not have to get along with people or be sociable to make a living. All the computer gadgets and tools and telecommunication tools are created by smart people who hardly interact with outside world.
they stay focus on their task to deliver IT Solutions for us to use and to make out lives easier and more convenient.

Check Steve Job of Apple ( Great mind) and Allan Turning ( genius), John Nash(Equilibrium theory, Movie: Beautiful mind) who was paranoid schizophrenia and many othersā€¦
All these people were not sociable.
Of course, every one is different and some Mentally ill people cannot function in society with out some kind of medical interventionā€¦

we learn every day and we hope things will change to the betterā€¦

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Anytime and thank you. :slight_smile: I found some drops online that contain lithium and someone told me that no form of lithium is natural and can lead to kidney and permanent brain damage as it contains radioadiation. Is this true? Did your son have any negative symptoms was he was on it? How did it affect him? They say that it helps with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, so if he takes two a day maybe heā€™ll get better, but I want to make sure itā€™s safe before giving it to him.

He knows how to code, he just canā€™t work. He has obsessive behaviors and thinking that donā€™t let him concentrate on anything besides whatever it is thatā€™s going on in his mind. I want to try control the symptoms and give him a break and then maybe he can start working again slowly in any work placement of his choice.

This is where I found the Lithium in liquid form: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DZUQ2RM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_aDuayb90FPJBN

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every medicine has side effects. I do not see brain damage or kidney damage in the list of side effects

can you show a link where do you see these side effect?

Studies show that lithium can significantly reduce suicide risk. Lithium also helps prevent future manic and depressive episodes. it is used to stabilize a personā€™s mood, it is thought to help strengthen nerve cell connections in brain
My Son doctor told me that is reduces the Mania ( manic episode) especially when my son feels the need to to confront someone.
My son acted nice when he was on the Lithium on Paliperdine. Paliperidone helps him to reduce the ā€œTouretteā€ sympton. He was behaving better able to talk and socialize better with people.
The problem is he does not want to take any medicine because he looks up the side effects on the Internet like these:
drowsiness, tremors in your hands,dry mouth, increased thirst or urination,loss of appetite, stomach pain,
changes in your skin or hair;cold feeling or discoloration in your fingers or toes;impotence, loss of interest in sex,etcā€¦
Especially, the loss of interest in sex.
Lithium Carbonate: Package Insert - Drugs.com

There is an article on the Web that little bit of Lithium has been used in 27 Counties in Texas in drinking water
Lithium in drinking water and the incidences of crimes, suicides, and arrests related to drug addictions - PubMed
and that it has reduced the rate of suicide, homicide, and rape in these counties compare to other counties that don not have Lithium in drinking water.

My brother was also diagnosed with Schizphrenia about 35 years ago and he has been taking meds for 25 years on consistent basis: Geondon and Leponex and he still living until now. he is about 58 years of age. not married and he is MiddleEast.

Hope this helps.

Wow. Thatā€™s incredible. I understand him and his concern with the side effects, Risperidone left me in the hospital for 5 days convulsing and days later I was still have jerking movements. :disappointed: Yes, itā€™s very helpful, thank you! I found this site, but it only says it can damage the kidneys, nothing about brain damage or radioactivity:

This is a tough one but you know your child better than anyone. It sounds like you are his lifeline so are you helping him too much by sending money? Could he be using drugs and sharing it with people on the street. He could very well be misusing the money however as a mother most of us donā€™t want to give up on our children. I will say that if your son is homeless in a big city most likely there are services for the homeless such as food, shelter etc. Even in small communities homeless folks can find services. When my daughter was briefly on the street I kept telling myself that human beings want to survive and have very strong survival instincts and I still believe that.

My daughter lives with me now because she has two small children and I think it would be extremely difficult for her to give her children the proper guidance they need. I know she loves them but there are challenges in raising children even without a mental illness. Iā€™ve had people tell me that she and the children are not my problem and that it would be better for me if they moved out. Folks who say that have either never had children of their own or never experienced real hardship and live in a bubble world with too many shoulds or maybe just donā€™t have empathy for anyoneā€™s suffering.

Do what you think what is right for your child. Youā€™ll figure it out - it may take time but you will come up with an answer. Best to you and your son.

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Molly, yes it is a tough situation but I cannot just leave him without food. He is homeless and paranoid Schizophrenic. he has illness and he himself may not be aware of what is going with him. I cannot let him starve.
he would not be possible for him to be on drugs with $60.00 a week. I am monitoring his daily Bank debits & withdrawal and how he is spending . He is spending the money on Food and Transportation only.

I am hoping he soon give up living on streets and accept my help.

I have a brother in the same city and my son knows his Uncle telephone Number. he may reach out to him soon I hope for help.
I also emailed him the telephone of Homeless support service and outreach program telephone numbers in the city he is in
I am really praying that he will try to come to his sense and get really exhausted of his homeless life and reach out for help.
you doing something very noble by helping your daughter and her kids. I would definitely will do the same If I am in your placeā€¦ Do not listen to anyone. Your grandchildren are a blessing in your life and they adding a deep meaning to your life.
How would be able to live daily without them. Especially knowing that your daughter is mentally challenged. it is your obligation to take care of her and her family and provide your unconditional love and support.This is what good loving parents do.

God Bless you and best of luck to your daughter and her children.

Hi,

My daughter is on Lithium 4 x 250mg daily. She had hand tremor and had to go to the toilet more often than usual. This is the 6th week she is on Lithium and her tremors have gone away for a few days now. Her bowel and bladder functions are back to normal. She likes arts and now her skills are coming back. She used to believe that Lithium made her dull. She probably still do but not as convinced as before.

I learn from the CAT team who is helping my daughterā€™s recovery at home is that our body adjusts to the medication and Lithium is a salt that makes us drink more and therefore have to go to the toilet often.

Other than the side effects initially, I see that Lithium (and maybe Abilify as well which is the other medication my daughter takes) helps her be in control of her mood. She is also a lot more measured and less impetuous.

Hope this helps,
Chong.

CAAR2016,

Iā€™ve been reading your posts. I wanted to say that I think you are doing a great job with boundaries and supporting your son. I wish I could offer some help, but I think youā€™ve thought of everything. I do see one positive thing in your postsā€¦ the fact that he calls you even if heā€™s being verbally abusive. Yes, he wants money, but he also sees you as helpful. You are still a safe place for him. At least thatā€™s my impression.

I really think you are showing such grace, and doing such a great job!

Sadwife, thank you. I think it is good that he is communicating by email or by calling and he feels that he is entitled to whatever I have and it is my obligation to help him.
He is asking by email that he is not ready yet to come and does not like living with me and Now he is asking me for more $. I replied that I can only give him $ for food and he has to figure out what to do to help himself more: housing and medical careā€¦
Of course, he is sick and does not like to hear what I am saying!
my brother is suggesting to give him ene week to tell what his plans are in helping himself or to plan to come back home otherwise to cut him off.
I am at a cross road here and not sure if I want to cut him off completely!

What about you! what brought you to this Website?

If it was me, and I could afford it, I wouldnā€™t cut him off - even if itā€™s for a somewhat selfish reason.

At least this way, you sort of know where he is, and you know heā€™s alive.

Maybe, you can talk him into coming home by saying you guys can work together to get him on disability and to find him some place of his own to live? Maybe, sell him on the fact that local social services/mental health can help him with all of that if heā€™ll talk to them?

Iā€™m finding out that there are a surprising number of services here if youā€™re willing to accept help, and there are even people whoā€™s job it is to persuade you to accept it.

Iā€™m the kind of person who likes to be in total control of everything, so it was a hard adjustment, but Iā€™m warming up to the idea of him having someone else to try to talk him into doing the right things for his health. Maybe, theyā€™ll have better luck than me because itā€™s been a never-ending power struggle at our house lately.

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Thatā€™s good, thank you. Iā€™m glad that sheā€™s doing better! I wonā€™t be giving anything right now though since he was hospitalized 2 days ago. Doctors said he wonā€™t be able to get out for a month until they see that heā€™s stable enough. Theyā€™re just giving him Ativan temporarily since he had a panic attack.

I am here because my husband has psychosis (drug induced for sure), borderline personality disorder, ptsd, delusions, and at the least schizo affective issuesā€¦ but he seems to me to meet the criteria for SZ. He had a total psychotic break in June ( no idea how else to describe it) after the delusions built to a level I canā€™t even comprehend still. Heā€™d been using heavily for a few years unbeknownst to me, so how much is drugs and how much sz stuff IDK. He does have auditory hallucinations. Heā€™s sure heā€™s being mind controlled. Some of his delusional thinking has turned out to actually be true, and heā€™s so brilliant he can make you believe anything.

He left the house in June and has not been back, though he seems to be wanting to reconcile when he is not high. The delusions about me, strangely, have disappeared.

Heā€™s been in the VA hospital 4 times since August. He refuses all meds, and is begging to be admitted to an inpatient rehab program that then makes him eligible for a PTSD program. He has been turned down because he is ā€œtoo stableā€. Homeless, lost license, his income monthly (quite a bit- enough for a family to live on) is gone within 5 or 6 days bcz he binges. When he binges, the delusions pop up and remain for a few weeks. Right as he seems to be getting it kind of together, he gets paid so he binges again. I donā€™t know how he can get less stable in terms of the rehab criteria.

I posted a few things last night, but as of this morning I am an anxious basketcase. I keep waiting for the call that he wants to leave the psych ward. He has been staying between 6 and 10 days, so theoretically it wonā€™t come for a few days. Even if it does come, theyā€™ll keep him until at least the weekend. I do know if they donā€™t accept him into the rehab program this time, they have signed his death warrant. That sounds melodramatic but itā€™s true. The funny thing is, we were getting it together between us. Not fixed, by a long shot, but working on our marriage. Then the binge that started Wed when he fell off the planet and I didnā€™t hear from him for 4 days happened. Iā€™m wondering if some of my anxiety is that heā€™s unreachable for 48 more hours. I want to hear from him, but Iā€™m scared to. He does worse in the hospital in terms of ptsd/anxiety. Iā€™m going to try to get him to ask for something for anxiety. He was taking about halidol yesterdayā€¦ I can only pray.

Iā€™m at the end of my rope. In the past 4 months since he had to leave/left, I have been financially ruined, heartbroken, hopefulā€¦ the roller coaster. My family and friends hate him now, my children hate himā€¦ but heā€™s my spouse and is very very sick. The children are too young to understand that and my family and friends will never understand. Even if he agrees to treatment, gets clean, wins a Nobel prize
(Lol), my family will most likely cut me loose. I just donā€™t understand it. But I Iā€™m sure thatā€™s more than you wanted to know.

Iā€™m mostly lurking just to learn and try to give what little support I can. Over the summer, the support I got here kept me going.

Thanks for asking, sorry so long- winded.

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I feel your pain. Stay strong, you need to be there for your husband & for your kids.
Do not worry about what your family and friends think. if someone loves you, they would love you no matter how difficult your situation is

so you have not heard fro him for 48 hours now?

If he was diagnosed in a Acute Hospital and taking his meds, then the hospital usually would help him to get into a Rehabilation program provided no one from a Family wants to take care of him.

My son was in a different State(CALIF) when he was last hospitalized at Stanford, CA. he was diagnosed with Paranoid SZ and he was given the chance for hearing by the Judge ordered him to go to Rehabilation for 2 months.

You say when hes does not binges he is OK. ( are you referring to eating a lot). then when he binges, he get worse.

I think if the Physciatric ward does not find a need for him to go to Rehab, may be because they think he is more than 50% stable than unstable and they think being with his family would be better for him.

try to convince him to come back and take his meds if he really wants to make the marriage works.

Did you say that he works and get paid from his work or from Social Security?

Yes, SZ people are smart and very manipulative people.

Note: they are better meds than Haldol for schiz conditions like Zypraxa or Peliperone.

keep a positive attitude. Things will change I hope for the better.

Will pray for you and your Husband and family

I see your point of not cutting him and also my Dad; my Sonā€™s Grand father ask me not to cut him off. I emailed my son all the telephone numbers of the Outreach programs and Homeless Shelter in his Area and ask him to Call.

The problem that my son does not think he has an illness and he does not think he needs Medicine.
I still hope that he would have a change of heart and see the reality and knows that he needs Government services help to continue and he will not able to just keep living on little Money I am giving him every week.

Thank you! No, I wish I meant food. He is binging on cocaine.

Now that you say that, he did tell the ER doc he could stay with family yesterday and I had to tell the doc that isnā€™t at all true. I think I will start that conversation with social workers tomorrow that he is not at all stable.

He is 100% disabled veteran. He does not work.

The policy is no contact for 48 hours from the time he enters the ward, and Iā€™m assuming that was close to 7:30 yesterday. When I knew he was being admitted I left the ER and that was about 5:30. Man, they watch it by the minute, too! Visiting hours are 6:30-7:30, so I wonā€™t be able to go until Tuesday. He could call me tomorrow night, I guess. We shall see!

The VA is very annoying in that they like old school meds. I think the antipsychotics they will use first are halidol and seroquelā€¦ and he will want just enough to sleep. Heā€™s going to say he needs it for anxiety, which is true in that the VA does trigger his PTSD, and of course he does not think he is psychotic or delusional. At this point, any med that he views as beneficial is a good med. At least itā€™s building a little bit of confidence in medication. We shall see if he actually asks for it or allows it. One he sees one helps, he might be more open to another. I hope.

Thank you for your response!

Mine too. For years, he had insight - in the last year, heā€™s lost it all.

I even ask him about it. Iā€™ll say, you remember you were paranoid before, right? Heā€™ll agree.
Iā€™ll ask, you remember you thought people were watching you and the house was bugged then, right? Heā€™ll agree.
Then, Iā€™ll ask why this time is different. Heā€™ll just say he doesnā€™t know why itā€™s different, it just is.

So sorry to hear youā€™re going through this @CAAR2016. Sounds so familiar re food and the comment about you not being his mother too. That hurtsā€¦ but they really donā€™t mean it.

Iā€™ve had to practice tough love, and itā€™s not easy when you know your ill son (or daughter) is homeless and hungry. When my son sounds desperate I give him my grocery card # so he can go to a nearby store to buy food with my pointsā€¦ that way I know heā€™s buying food. If heā€™s staying at a shelter there is usually a community kitchen or church nearby. If he has email access you might want to send your son a link to local community services.

The hardest part for caregivers are the ā€œwhat if?ā€ thoughts that burden us when we have to be tough. Sending light and love your way.

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this is so hard. My son now knows how much I care about him & that I do not want to see him hungry and he is taking Advantage of this and asking for more $.
I told him that I will get him a Gym membership where he is if he reveals his location and Keep saying, give me the Money, I will do the Gym membership myself.
yesterday, he sent me emails to give him $500, I refused since I would not know here the money is going to.
I am trying to deposit $70 every week for food, but I see that he just withdrew like $100 yesterday from his account and now he is only $20 left and he asking me for more $
I gave him a Warning and sent an email that if does not control his expenses and Seek help, I will stop depositing more $ and he may go Hungry?

Should I stop depositing $ and let him suffer and come back and beg
Not sure what to do!

Stop depositing, itā€™s only going to continue. Unless heā€™s staying at a hotel, nobody goes through money that fast, especially if theyā€™re homeless. Chances are he could be using it on street drugs and itā€™s not uncommon for patients with SZ or SZD to seek out other methods to alleviate their mania and uncontrolled thoughts through drugs. Iā€™ve seen it happen with friends and family, it only makes them worse and it can be really hard to quit. Youā€™re only feeding his addictions and delusions instead of actual food.

[quote=ā€œCAAR2016, post:78, topic:2708ā€]
king me for more $
[/quote
I have been checking his debits and Withdrawals every day and he has been spending it on Food and Drink, except for the $100 he withdrew yesterday. He has been asking to put his luggage in a Storage and asking for Money to do that.
But I asked him to contact my brother who is over there to let him store his luggage but he does not want to deal with his uncle ( my brother) and just want to do everything on his own.
I cannot just keep him $ for do whatever because I cannot afford to give more than $500 a month at Most.

I guess, I will continue giving Warning and Hope he will realize that he may go Hungry when I stop Depositing.