My Son's First Time Inpatient - Worst than When He Went In?

Family
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Visiting hours are Thursday 7 to 8:45 PM, Saturday 7 to 8:45 PM and Sunday 2 to 4 PM.

The place looks like a ghost town then - plenty of nurses & techs, plus the receptionist, but hardly any visitors, and I don’t see another soul.

I’ll have to find out if anyone will be there, but that’s really good advice. When I call and ask, everyone acts like it has to be the social worker who takes care of it. I’ve called every working day since he’s been in, I left a letter on Sunday, I have the social worker’s supervisor’s name, but am waiting a little longer for a response before I go up the chain.

I thought about having my own form drafted - like an advance directive kind of thing - but they won’t allow you to take anything in with you other than your car keys.

I’m going to start looking for an appropriate attorney - just in case.

I don’t want him to come home before he’s ready, but I’d like to know what the plan is at this time. And, I worry that because he may choose to not be overly communicative with the doctor that they may keep him longer than necessary. He’s never been very social, never talked to teachers much when he was a kid, and they don’t know his baseline. If they’re going to wait for him to be cheerful and chatty, they might have to wait forever.

On the other hand, he sounds really good - very lucid. He’s always responded to medication of all types quickly, and they put him back on what he was already taking with the exception of the suboxone, so we know it works for him.

He also mentioned someone asked if they could be roommates, so he’s getting along well with someone. He also said he doesn’t know if that’s allowed, so he didn’t sound like he’d pursue it, but nice that he’s talking to the other patients some, even if they are getting him a little worked up about the legalities of the place.

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I know at the hospital my son has been at, anybody can provide the form and get the signature. Yes, the social worker typically does it, but it doesn’t HAVE to be that person. I wouldn’t wait on taking it up the chain. I am no longer willing to wait on people to provide adequate service. You also have the option of contacting the patient advocate.

ALSO - if he will, ask your son to begin asking for the form - it might be addressed more quickly if he is requesting it.

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That is a great idea.

He’s said he would sign it, but I didn’t tell him to ask for it. Thank you for that reminder.

Is the patient advocate the person who represented him at the hearing for the court ordered hold?
or would that be someone else?

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The patient advocate is a hospital employee - for patients to bring concerns/complaints.

The person who represented him in the hold hearing was probably a public defender, a lawyer.

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Also, although what you can bring in is limited, it should not restrict you from bringing in a list of reminders, notes, letters, pictures, books, etc.- as well as changes of clothes.

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Thank you so much! I’m going to call & see if they have one of those now.

I don’t really need to speak to the case worker - I just need that release form signed and to find out how many days they put on the hold.

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I’ve taken him clothes.

He wanted some drawing materials, so I took some non-spiral bound sketchbooks, magic markers since he had one of those with him, a national geographic magazine (lots of pictures, nothing to get upset about, no staples) and a notebook to journal in.

They wouldn’t give him the magazine or the plain notebook. I don’t know why.

I can’t take anything back - they have to go through everything before they get it. That’s understandable since there are people in there for substance abuse issues - him included.

I’d have to rely on them to give it to him, him to get something from them to sign it, and make sure it gets in his folder. He has a learning disability (maybe just an early form of his mental illness, maybe not) that makes it difficult for him to follow a list of instructions - he’s got short-term, long-term & working memory deficits. So, sometimes he can do all that - sometimes he can’t - and the more stressed he is, the less he can do.

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I know what a pain it is. Our frequent flyer hospital has changed policies over the years. At one time I could bring packaged food, even that is not allowed anymore. But I can still bring notebooks. I would definitely question that.

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Well, they said he could have the sketchbooks - which is what he really wanted.
But, they’re no different than the ruled notebook he could have journaled in.

Art & music are a big escape for him.
Right now, maybe he doesn’t have either.

This Thursday, I’m taking him another sketchbook - we’ll see what happens.
They told me they gave him the sketchbooks - he doesn’t remember getting them. Could be he has them and really doesn’t remember. He does that even when he’s well if something’s on his mind. He’d have set them down & forgot all about them.

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And, they had a patient advocate!

So, one more voice mail left that I feel like will go into a black hole.

I’m going to look for a generic release form, print it out & leave that with him along with instructions too.
And, mention it to one of the nurses when I visit.

edit: found a generic form. if anyone reads this later & is in the same situation, I found a generic HIPAA form here: https://www.caring.com/questions/hipaa-release-form
just had to download the PDF.

Next question - once I get the release signed, how would I get the information off the court ordered hold? Case manager who won’t return my calls again? or is it part of his file?
I already called the court, so I know it’s not public information.
All I want to know is how many days & his lawyer’s name.

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As soon as he signs that release form, you should get that information. It should be in his file and his social worker could tell you. Also ask how you can help? Warm regards

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Thanks everyone for the advice - I’ll certainly follow it.

This is my main focus right now, so I’m sure I’ll figure out all the ins & outs soon enough.
I also don’t know if the case manager is his social worker? I think they said so.

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Since you have had to do this yourself, the hospital will have its own Release of Information form (ROI). Sometimes these are on their websites and also sometimes available in paper format at the front desk or nearby during regular business hours.

I think the form you found looks good for medical stuff, but you’re right, it might not apply to the court information.

Outside or inside your son’s room, is there a folder hanging on the wall with his intake forms? At the hospital, all of my family member’s legal forms were given to them and kept in this folder right outside the door of the room.

Lots of questions and few answers, but one thing I wouldn’t worry about is a hospital keeping someone too long. That doesn’t seem to happen often nowadays.

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I asked at the desk, and I asked the nurses on his unit - they all say see the case manager.
I’ve looked all over their website - nothing.

I haven’t been able to see his room. Visitations are in a common area, and when I call in to ask questions, one of the nurses was kind enough to look to see if they had his legal documentation yet (they didn’t, but this was last Friday), and she looked to see what meds he was taking & how much & told me. (again, she wasn’t supposed to, but was nice enough to let me know.)

I just went to my first support meeting, and everyone there thought that

  1. The order would say 30 days even if they don’t keep him that long. otherwise, if they put 10 days, they’d have to have another hearing at the end of 10 days by our state laws.
  2. We have very good private health insurance, so they know they’re going to be paid - they pay 85%, we pay 15% of negotiated rates. So, while they won’t keep him all that much longer, they won’t be as quick to kick him out.

Tonight, after listening to the stories of adult children without health insurance, I am very thankful that he’s covered through my work, and that they give me no problems about keeping him on as a disabled dependent.

I really don’t think he’ll be kept too long - or not enough longer than necessary to make much of a difference - but it kind of makes me feel better to be prepared just in case. It makes me feel less helpless. After all, I don’t have much, if any, power or control right now and it’s not a good feeling.

But, thanks for telling me that people don’t stay too long, and you know what? Google agrees. I can’t find a single attorney who advertises services for fighting involuntary stays. The few I’ve found do guardianships and helping families get their loved ones into the hospital when the courts don’t find cause.

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Today’s update - I got a sad call from my son, he sounded close to tears - not on the edge, but closer than I liked. He asked about when he could come home, and told me that just being there was hard for him because of his social anxiety. He sounded good otherwise, but said he felt out of it just from being around all the people. He remembered his doctor’s name today, he said he would ask her about the release, etc.

Then, I got a call from his case manager. The reason I wasn’t getting a call back was that they had given me the wrong name, so I was calling the wrong person. She finally got the letter I left for the other person, called him into her office & then called me. They got the release form signed, he asked her about getting him off AWOL status, she said they’d discuss his case this Friday and maybe there would be a weekend release for him. She asked what else I’d like them to concentrate on, so I told her to talk to him about how important it was to stay in treatment and to take his meds, talk to the doctor about changes to find the right combo, and to stay away from alcohol & other drugs.

He sounded clearer than he has in a very long time.

So, I feel much better.

She also asked him if he could remember what happened when he came to the hospital & what happened to put him on AWOL status - he can’t remember coming to the hospital at all.

All in all, a good day for us. I’m going to take the next couple days to finish cleaning his room - have one corner left, then I need to shampoo the carpet. I might not get to the closets (his room has 2 that are jammed packed with whatever he would throw in there as his way of cleaning) but that can wait.

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I hear the fear and I understand it better than most. Your son is in a good place getting the medicine he needs which is better than home and in denial or in the jail. We’ve gone through hell with our son who just moved out today to live in Sober Living House. I remember my son’s first inpatient as hell for all of us and he was so resistant that he filed complaints against the psychiatrist every hour to get discharged sooner than planned.

So progress is possible and a blessing. I wish your son all the best in care and I’ll pray for your son to have his higher power help him to make progress that he can understand and tackle at his speed. For you, I wish you more and more peaceful nights; hugs and love.

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Lol, my son’s hospital stays have always been an opportunity for me to clean too!

Glad to hear the progress - tho the delay is pretty inexcusable.

Now takes some deep breaths, and try to take a little time for yourself, knowing your son is safe and getting treatment.

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Today’s update.

My son called late last night to tell me someone tried to “wrestle” him. Because he tried to escape, he’s on the more secure ward with people who are very psychotic (that was him) and people who are violent. I have seen fights on 2 of 3 visits, although the staff was right on them. My son is small - lots of the other patients are enormous - so I’m a little worried, although he was just scared and not physically hurt. He said it was a rare moment when no staff was around. I told him to avoid that person as much as he could.

Today, he called because, although the case worker was so sure that he would be out over the weekend that she had me make appts with both his therapist & pdoc next week, his actual doctor told him there was no release as long as he was on AWOL status, so he was very disappointed & you could hear the tremble in his voice. He said it was like Chinese water torture. He said (and the nurses have also told me) that he’s been compliant, he’s doing everything he is supposed to do - so how is he supposed to get off AWOL? I’m hoping he misunderstood, but I’ve got calls back in to discuss.

I’ve explained, for all the good it will do me, that if he’s stable on his meds, at some point they could do more harm than good. The last thing I want is for him to see this as punishment rather than help.

So, I was very happy & hopeful yesterday afternoon - now, not so much.

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I don’t know what AWOL status is - can you explain?

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AWOL is absent without leave - it means he tried to just leave.
His first morning, totally psychotic, before any meds, he tried to just leave, jumped the nurses station & went for the door.

I just got off the phone with the case manager. They may keep him for a few more days, but she is going to try to get him off AWOL so he can get some fresh air (he’s been inside with no sunshine for 8 days) and move him to a stepdown unit so it’s quieter and he’s not in with some of the more violent patients.

They are still seeing some minor signs of psychosis, so they want to watch him a little longer, but are listening to my concerns too. So, I’m feeling a little better as of the moment.

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