Drug addiction is just a much a disease in it’s own right as her other mental illness, and if anyone tells you she’d quit if she was stronger, ask them how they’d feel if they had to spend even an hour in the mental pain she goes through on a daily basis.
I think my son is incredibly strong to still be alive - even if I feel like wringing his neck myself some days.
I’m sorry but that is no excuse. I’m glad she is out of there and appreciate the heads up. We are so desperate and our loved ones vulnerable. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
No my husband and I never saw this one coming. Thank you and I wish the same for your family.
Well, here I am again. The last of my story was my daughter left detox early due to the fact they were not trained to deal with mental problems. She got home, started using DXM even more often. The night of the Hurricane Matthew (we live in hard hit NC) she packed a bag and started walking. She said she packed it as soon as I went to bed. When I woke up the next morning she was no where to be found and I had a lake in my yard. I immediately called the police and after an officer came to my house he was going to put out a Silver Alert. Before doing so he called the hospital to see if she were there and they said she wasn’t. She finally called me just before the alert went out. She was in the psyc, ward at the hospital. She had talked to a man at a motel and he was worried about her state of mind and with a hurricane going on. So he called the police and EMS took her to the hospital. She was in a bad part of town and anything could have happened to her. Drug dealers pick up young women and keep them drugged up and a prisoner in that area. It happened to my adult step daughter and we had to get the police to get her out of the situation. Thank God that man was her guardian angel!
This experience has scared me and I just don’t feel she is safe at my house anymore. I can’t keep her from using drugs, but her mental illness gets worse and she is refusing to take her meds. At times when she was real bad, my husband would sit in the recliner at night to be sure she didn’t leave the house. Since he died, I can’t do that regularly and be able to deal with her the next day.
I know I had this big dream about sending her to a wonderful healing place in Asheville, but that was dashed when I found out she had to be sober for one month. I finally had found a place that would take the dual diagnosis with schizophrenia and find this out. I had nearly $2000 collected on GoFundMe in just 7 days, but I turned the money back to the donors. That dream is gone.
I’m having a hard time getting my hope back. She will get out of the hospital tomorrow if things go her way - if not she can have only 2 more days. She calls me badgering me not to say anything to make her stay. Every thing I say to her to get her to try again is met with anger. All she cares about is the drug and being able to live at home. But if I say anything to get her to just slow down the drug use or anything at all to help her get better, she talks of moving out. She was going away that night. She left me a note saying she was going to commit the perfect crime and go away to prison. She’s been badgering me the night before because I wouldn’t let her buy a plane ticket for a girl who lives in the UK. She says she has similar beliefs about Satan. That’s all I need is two of them! I’m laughing now but it really isn’t funny. Does anyone out there get badgered like I do? She continually pleads her case over and over again. What I say is met with anger and resentment because she is 28 yrs. old and needs her freedom. I know she can’t help it, but as you all know it is hard. Thanks for reading. It really helps to type it even if no one reads!
In re-reading these posts. I never replied to your great advice. The only time she is willing to go to treatment is when she is high or coming down from the high. The badgering is the hard part for me. She doesn’t stop, hour after hour until I go to bed. Sometimes she even follows me there. It is so draining on me that I give in more than I should and then feel guilty that I gave in. I did leave the house one time and she burned her feet and hands with a cigarette and cut on her legs with a knife. She says the pain of doing these things makes her forget her other pain. She also has Borderline Personality Disorder.
Thank you for your advice and kind words. I think I’ll copy and put on the frig.
I’m so sorry. You must be drained and I know that people advise resting when you can but how many of us can turn it off at night to do that? I walk every morning with a two friends who are also committed to staying healthy. It is a Godsend and if keeps me sane. I leave at 6:30 in the morning and am normally at work at 9:00.
I can relate to the barrage and I think it is common. A woman at NAMI said her son followed her around the house telling her she couldn’t do anything right and this was in medicine. I guess I’m very fortunate to have found out how to keep my son busy. My mother had eleven children and when we fought she would put us to work. She let us do our own thing until we got on her last nerve. She also had a wonderful sense of humor and I think it saved us all. God bless you and I wonder if she could stay at the hospital and then transfer while she was sober. That will be the key won’t it?
I’m in NC… the no smoking kills my husband. I can’t find a dual diagnosis program either. There’s a state one near Black Mountain. ADAP maybe? They say dual diagnosis but when I mentioned delusions, the nurse said no to admission.
Oh… I wonder if there is anything at Butner to serve dual diagnosis?
Don’t you think NC is the pits for mental illness? I live in Goldsboro. Where are you living? I lived in VA until my husband was diagnosed with cancer and we moved closer to his family. VA was just as bad. The state hospital in Danville VA does mental illness and they have AA. They did keep her once for 38 days, but they don’t allow smoking. I think they take patients from NC, too. I think you have to go through a psychiatrist to get placed there. The staff there were good, but it took 3 admissions before they realized the seriousness of her disease. She’s so smart she fooled them. They also put her on an mandatory outpatient therapy and she met with a judge every 3 months. She was also drug tested, but DXM does not show up. Also she had to be compliant with medication and therapies. She had to do all these things or she would have to go back. I have to go back and look at your posts to see if I can help you. I wish you good luck with your husband and admire you for sticking with him. Not everyone would.
It is the pits! Although it’s the only experience I have. I just don’t know of many inpatient options that take medicare and have beds. 
I hope you didn’t get flooded. I’m in the triad.
A woman I work with was doing search and rescue work in Lumberton last weekend- I think she’s with the national guard- heartbreaking. Think about all those people who can’t get their medicine!
Statistics show most schizophrenics use tobacco and many marijuana.
I found empty cold med blister packs in my sons pockets in high school, and now a few years later I found out he gothigh on cough syrup. It made me want to cry. But I know he was desperate and scared. He stays away from the hard stuff now but won’t quit pot or cigs.
The city of Goldsboro got hit hard, although I was real fortunate where I live. Where does your husband receive his treatment? My child gets the best outpatient treatment there is. It is called the ACT team. It is a team consisting of a psychiatrist, counselors for mental illness and drug addiction, a nurse and a peer counselor. They come to the house 2 to 3 times per week. Usually there is one or two at a time. But as good as they are, it’s not been of much help to her as it is to me cause I sometimes sit in.
Cherry Hospital in Goldsboro takes Medicaid so they probably take Medicare, too. It’s the only place I know that will take a patient directly from the family rather going through hoops at the emergency room. My daughter went to Butner after being in a hospital after she wrecked her car. That was her first visit to a state facility about 8 yrs. ago.
I’ve been right where you are now earlier this year. We found that even though Kaiser did have short-term and long-term paid for options, they wouldn’t refer our son in because they didn’t think it was needed. But we have to work with the providers we have… I would dig in on whoever administers her benefits… Medicare, Kaiser???
For a short time she was on Obama Care. What a joke. They only had 3 facilities that could provide long term care. I called the 3 and none of them would take her with her dual diagnosis - and one of them was for children. Thank goodness it was a mistake that took her off Medicaid and she is back on it. Still have trouble finding help, but at least the state facilities and hospitals are covered for emergencies.
How is your son doing now? You are so right about working with what help we have now. Her providers are doing their best and feel my pain. Sometimes I am afraid that they’ll give up on her because she is so difficult at times. I often dream of winning the lottery and opening up a special facility for my daughter and a few others like her. But I don’t buy lottery tickets. Sorry, just being a little silly!
She used to use marijuana, but it made her so paranoid she couldn’t function. But she was visiting her ex-husband then and used all kinds of drugs.
I’m so glad you have found this site, too. It really helps me, emotionally. Since my husband died, I haven’t had support when my daughter criticizes me and I start taking her criticism to heart and believe I’m doing everything wrong. Then I read on this site and find others struggling just like me.
I don’t know about the " growing out of it". My daughter is 28 and shows no signs of growing out of it, but maybe it’s possible. It’s taken years for my daughter to listen to me at all, but now that her team says the same things to her, she listens “a little” to me. Hang in there and treasure the moments with your son. That’s what keeps me going.
Donalda - How does your son get money for marijuana? You can make this situation better for you so you can make it the long-term. I’ve been exactly where you are. For me, living in fear was impacting my health and safety big time. I regretted it because it escalated when we cut off the money for his marijuana. Now, however, I realize we had no other choice and we have locked down all money so he’s been sober for a few months. You, my precious new friend, are not alone!
Hey terrific person,
I agree about Obama Care! Our son is now sober for over a month and he’s been addicted to marijuana for 10 years. He’s not happy but since he’s on probation now, he’s quiet and cooperative. Now I’m hoping to get him to the level of being able to live with us in peace. He’s picking up more after himself and he’s trying to do things that make the voices quiet: movies, music, some exercise.
I think the provider thing is important but I struggle with it. They tend to not put together a plan for recovery unless you push for it with the person and their providers. Our son vomits every morning and some days it throws me into a monkey brain of depression about why the hell is this happening to my beautiful son. This month we just need to work on the vomiting with his providers. He doesn’t make appointments unless I call up and make them. And, I’d like him to start going to support group for sz but that’s probably going to take more pressure and a month to get him there.
God has a plan for our children… it’s easy to loose faith. It’s more difficult to slow down and figure out what can we provide for me to take a small step into more peace and a life. Ultimately he may take none of them but I’ll take peace for now.
Hugs
Thank you so much. I love hearing your optimism! I’ve been going back to church and personally I feel better, but my daughter is much worse. You may have read that she ran away during Hurricane Matthews which hit hard in Goldsboro, NC. We were scared to death until she called from the hospital. An angel had noticed her condition and called the police. Now she is in the hospital because she was found across the street, beat up. Front teeth chipped and mouth bleeding. Bruises all over. She said the devil beat her up. She’s been telling me for weeks that she was possessed. I had not had good sleep for weeks and I kept getting up to check on her that night and was so dazed at 4 am that I went back to bed instead of getting on the couch next to the door. The neighbors (sister-in-law) found our front door opened at 6:30. She is used to unusual happenings and came in the house looking for my daughter. I was sound asleep and she didn’t want to wake me so she went looking outside in the rain. There was more, but I’m too tired to write. She is now in the hospital waiting to send her to a longer term placement. I haven’t been to see her yet but her nurses say she is still talking about satan. The dictionary says I should capitalize satan!
It sounds like you are going through a terrible ordeal too. Your faith is amazing! My prayers are with you!
vscjunk2261,
No worries, I get it completely. I think it’s great that you have a loved one nearby to keep an eye on everything too. Today I pray that you find time to enjoy a few moments of peace and happiness. I’m now realizing that’s an accomplishment for us since no drama is a good day. Their beliefs are so real and I will pray that Satan gets the hell out of her thinking! Hugs and love
OK, here it goes again. After 3 days the hospital wants to release her to me!!! I cannot protect her. She is not safe in my home. She was there only 3 days and they say they cannot find a bed for her and she has to leave! They said there was something they could do if she was doing illegal drugs or prescription drugs, but not over the counter DXM. I just found this out. They want her ACT team to take over on outpatient. The ACT team talked to me Fri and recommended a place in Georgia. When I called they were too expensive. ($30,000 for 4 - 6 wks, and $4000 a month for 1 - 2 years. They gave me a place in FL. They turned out to be 3-7 days (no better than NC) They suggested I call SAMHSA - no help but told me to call Eastpoint of NC because they were the ones that had money. I called Eastpoint and they said they couldn’t help and she would need to contact her ACT team. Currently I am waiting for a call back from ACT team director who is contacting a personal friend in Indiana for help. As you can see North Carolina is the pitts!
My question is which state offers the best inpatient laws in our country that is not too expensive? I will move anywhere in the US? If anyone knows of a good state, please reply.