Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

A few tips for family members/caregivers from mrs. sith

  1. it is not their fault…
    always be patient and kind, never demanding or patronising.

  2. a stable environment is imperative…
    severe mental illnesses are fluid…therefore we must be stable.
    create a life that fits their limitations and supports their strengths.

  3. remember this is never about you…
    they are the ones diagnosed with the horror movie trapped in their mind spinning like a merry go round 24 hours a day

  4. get informed…do not pretend…
    if you do not understand a behaviour or symptom get educated…and educate those around you.

  5. know and understand their triggers and limitations…
    simple family gatherings, public transport, crowds…noise…can tip them over.

  6. routine…
    is an essential part of their survival strategy…you must work around them.

  7. are they dangerous ?..
    if provoked or taunted or if their voices and delusions become overwhelming…then…perhaps…but sadly they mostly self harm…suicide…or withdraw.

  8. trust…
    is of paramount importance…be consistent, honest and accountable.
    own your mistakes and say sorry immediately.

  9. do not lie or be false…
    adeptly they see through false smiles…false words…false actions…and will hold you to account…

  10. remember you are not superior…
    just because they have a mental illness…they are actually highly intelligent and more innately attuned than we mere ’ muggles ’

  11. healthy diet…exercise…goals…good therapist…sleep…humour…and taking meds on time is essential.

  12. above all… love them unconditionally…there is no magic cure other than love…they are the true heroes.

from mrs. sith
take care :heart:

1 Like

You’re a lucky guy sith.

Oh can you send her my deepest admiration wrapped into a lots of kisses and virtual flowers?

Mrs Sith is one epic lady.

Thank you, Darksith,

Dear Mrs. Sith, Thank you. Please start an advice column :heart:

Wonderful advice :heart:

My stepson is 31. He was diagnosed paranoid SZ 4 1/2 years ago. Since his break he has the delusion that I called him a child molestor. About once or twice a week he verbally voices this and blames me and says it is my fault. He blames his mother for things but not that particular offense. He blames her for controlling his life.

When he blames me for this I sometimes do not say anything and let him say what he needs to say. Many times he will come up to me and try to get me to admit that I have said that about him. I will say to him nicely…I have never called you that or have even though that about you, why would I let you be around young children if I believed that. He just calls me a liar.

Yesterday my wife told me to just say IF I said it I don’t remember saying it, I have never though that about you.
To me that left the door open to his delusion being correct in his mind. I told him “IF” I said it… he still called me a liar. I didn’t want to fight with my wife so I just did it.

what do I do. I get quiet. and then my wife gets mad at me. I understand he is suffering. I get tired and if I withdraw a little I get reprimanded.
Many times I struggle with separating the illness with his personality

you seem to be a kind gentle soul…
in my books you have done the right thing…you can not reason with him…he is delusional and emotional…
logic cannot be applied…nor understood by him when he is like this
saying ’ if ’ is trying to placate him which does not work.
his thinking seems black or white…
is he seeking therapy ?
hang in there…he is one lucky boy to have you in his world.
from mrs sith
take care :heart:

**Thank you Mrs. Sith OO :sun_with_face: **

Looks like you found a legendary lady there sith.

Is it weird to say this is beautiful? Thank you for posting this Mrs Sith, you are an awesome woman!

@darksith and mrs.sith, that was awesome and inspiring. Thank you so much for posting that.

Excellent post! I need to jot it down.

Thank you. :blush::wave:

That’s great! Continuity, honesty, sensitive and kind mixed with strength.

Thank you! I really needed this today…:cry:

Have you watched Dr. Amador’s videos on the LEAP method of communication? You may find them helpful in this situation.

Beautiful words from Mrs. Sith!

@darksith and mrs. sith—Thank you for the insightful, gentle and kind advice.

How do I bump this post for @LoyalJazzy?

Original Post is great:)