My brother finally wore me and my siblings down with a delusional obsession. My father is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and takes a myriad of medications including the same AP I take, but at a higher dosage. He’s had increasing mobility issues over the past year, shuffling instead of lifting his feet. It’s to the point that he needs a walking assist device and my mother had a stair lift installed.
My brother, who takes no medication aside from huge amounts of alcohol, (his words not mine) has been running an incoherent and rambling telephone campaign against the stair lift and inevitably his AP medication. I’ve repeatedly asked him what exactly he wanted us to do, and have been met with incoherence for many months, but he’s finally managed to convince another brother to broach the subject of taking my father off AP medication altogether, in hopes that it helps his mobility issues. This brother had spoken to his psychiatrist before and dosages were adjusted.
My sister and I are very dubious that taking him off the medication will be at all beneficial, but frankly we are fed up with my brother drunkenly rambling on and on about this, so we are acquiescing thinking it might get him out of his current downward cycle. My brother has a fanciful notion that with a united front the siblings can overrule my mother’s medical decisions for my father. He thinks she also has dementia and has been brainwashed by the incompetent psychiatrist who has misdiagnosed my father, blah blah blah blah. I’m to this point of playing along realizing from my inside knowledge that even if he manages to get my father off AP medication, AP drugs don’t work like a switch. My father is generally medication compliant and we make sure he takes handfuls of medications each day, so I assume we can resume medication at a later date.
My sister and my take on this is this is sort of a grieving mechanism he and my other brother are going through in their own ways. My brother had years ago latched onto the idea that he, being the eldest son, leads the family after my father had supposedly ‘passed the baton’ to him. He’s also latched onto a comment that my father wanted to live to 100 and that it’s his sole responsibility to realize this goal.
Have any of you had to go through appeasement processes like this, even though your gut tells you they are at best dubious, and at worst wrong? What criteria makes you say “what the hell… I’ll play along.”?