He has been in 2 months and has one more month to go. The schedule, the meds consistency, the regular meals and lifestyle is all good and when I visit I can see he has made himself comfortable there- even made a friend, has played soccer and volleyball…better than hiding away in his room alone with his voices for the last year…but I am starting to get scared now about his coming home.
That it will all repeat.
I miss him but I am scared that he will be manic again as soon as he gets back. I’m a working single Mother and there are just the two of us here. The solitude when I am away seems to trigger the voices and they get hateful when someone is not around…
He has been allowed out for day trips and every time, they have been exhausting for him. He has started out good, organising his room and us going shopping etc. Then after 3 or 4 hours he will start to panic and get manic, spinning around, slurred and muddled speech (word salad) and the voices will be loud and dominating and say nasty things to him and then he says he is forced to smell and drink foul smells and things…and I have to take him back. then he calms down in the hospital…and sleeps it all off.
I am just so worried about him coming out and everything starting up again. I don’t know what I need to do…what i can do. I just need to share my fear. he can’t live in the hospital - for one thing it is expensive! Plus, he has been told his last day will be 29th August there.
He keeps saying “We need to move house” - It’s the voices telling him…but we only just moved here and it costs a lot to move, not to mention the exhaustion of moving plus full time work.And all the address changes again. Also we are lucky our place here is so quiet and no trouble or complaints from neighbors as there have been in the past. The voices have told him to move before and we did, it didn’t help. It isn’t reasonable or logical. But then, nor are the voices.
i suppose i just wanted to share and talk about it. I know i too am going around in circles. Thanks for reading anyway.