Feeling helpless and need to talk


#1

He has been in 2 months and has one more month to go. The schedule, the meds consistency, the regular meals and lifestyle is all good and when I visit I can see he has made himself comfortable there- even made a friend, has played soccer and volleyball…better than hiding away in his room alone with his voices for the last year…but I am starting to get scared now about his coming home.
That it will all repeat.

I miss him but I am scared that he will be manic again as soon as he gets back. I’m a working single Mother and there are just the two of us here. The solitude when I am away seems to trigger the voices and they get hateful when someone is not around…

He has been allowed out for day trips and every time, they have been exhausting for him. He has started out good, organising his room and us going shopping etc. Then after 3 or 4 hours he will start to panic and get manic, spinning around, slurred and muddled speech (word salad) and the voices will be loud and dominating and say nasty things to him and then he says he is forced to smell and drink foul smells and things…and I have to take him back. then he calms down in the hospital…and sleeps it all off.

I am just so worried about him coming out and everything starting up again. I don’t know what I need to do…what i can do. I just need to share my fear. he can’t live in the hospital - for one thing it is expensive! Plus, he has been told his last day will be 29th August there.

He keeps saying “We need to move house” - It’s the voices telling him…but we only just moved here and it costs a lot to move, not to mention the exhaustion of moving plus full time work.And all the address changes again. Also we are lucky our place here is so quiet and no trouble or complaints from neighbors as there have been in the past. The voices have told him to move before and we did, it didn’t help. It isn’t reasonable or logical. But then, nor are the voices.

i suppose i just wanted to share and talk about it. I know i too am going around in circles. Thanks for reading anyway.


#2

is there any clinic or hospital that will provide a partial hospitalization… or a day center

my clinic has a hangout sponsored by nami- they serve lunch there is a room with couches and chairs to just sit and watch a movie…

I’ve been to programs where they pick you up in the morning and then bring you home by 4 or 5 for all sorts of therapies

you get to pick which therapetutic arts you want

there are sometimes programs out there

or you might consider hiring an aide in someone who has knowledge of mental illnesses to at least keep him a bit structured…good luck


#3

See what kind of therapy is available in the state mental health system. Like crazyfrog says, they might have some kind of day treatment.


#4

I too like the idea of a day center, if you can find one in your area. The distractions of having things going on around him seems to be making a big difference. I’m sorry that his home environment causes the voices to act up. That has to be really hard on both of you. :purple_heart:


#5

You’ve still got more than a month to go and clearly they haven’t got his meds right yet. Go in and insist that they do more before he comes home. Once they get it right you see a difference in days.


#6

I know that panicky feeling!
Does he have a case manager there? That person may be able to arrange a residential care situation-hopefully not far from you. Sounds like he likes the structure. I would also talk to the doctor to let him know about your son`s reaction when being on the “outside”. I agree with Hatty. His meds are not right yet, and I would raise ~!@ if they try to release him before he is ready. Let all of them know that he will be home alone most of the time.
Hope this helps…


#7

Do you know if he’s taking his meds when he’s visited at home?


#8

yes it helped. Good advice. Thank you !


#9

Thanks everyone for responding, sorry haven’t been back here since. We are not in the states, we are living in Asia. Anyway, yes the main thing is to ask what is available when he leaves in terms of day care or whatever. i hope I can afford it. I mean I will have to. He cannot clearly be left alone is my conclusion. He is so forgetful it is dangerous. I think he has been asking some of these questions himself an it is becoming clear how very well he is doing in this structured care. He is making all kinds of plans to keep it up when he leaves BUT I KNOW he won’t be able to. That is his personlity/illness mix. So, I have been encouraging him to also ask about alternative care things. He says he may be able to have the same doc and check in weekly by going back there but transport is a problem. All mental institutions in this country are in the mountains…far away from cities. Neither of us drive. It’s a long way to go back every week. There may be some transport system for outpatients, I will ask.

Took him out at the weekend and he was fine for approx 3 hours and then asked to go back to his ward. He has made friends, he is talking to the nurses and his pdoc. He plays soccer there and has made a friend.He also gets 3 meals a day and his meds are with them so taken same time daily…that was is always so hard for us if I am busy at work and forget to text him to take his meds on time.
Anyway as someone said, there is still a month to go. Things could get MUCH better, let’s hope so. The doc has changed his meds again so another week or two should see how these ones are.
Thanks again always for your support and more…understanding !! <3


#10

Hi forevercarer,

When your son gets out he may want to stay active somehow. He sounds like hes getting on well in hospital. On the outside there are mental health courses which are good to participate in. Mental health course have things going on like Art, Creative Writing and Drama and Introduction to Computers and also Personal Development. I personally did one of the courses and I found it great, as mainly there were other nice mentally ill people on the course and it was a nice therapeutic atmosphere. Ask the psychiatrist about it.

Also, if you think your son would get on better in a psychiatric facility, there are group homes. These are basically psychiatric hospitals for small groups in the community, where people have a lot more freedom and are encouraged to get better/active in parts of their lives that need work on. There are trained staff there to monitor things.

Also, if you think your son needs to get out and about, there are mental health clubs. These are basically drop in centres cum social clubs. Theyre a great place for mentally ill people to hang out as theres an understanding atmosphere within the club. Google it or ask the shrink.


#11

This is great! Are you in the states?


#12

Unfortunately not. But I did ask today at the hospital and they say there is follow up after he leaves. he will have psych nurse visit here at home and he will be able to join some groups for outpatients (if he will go- hope so!). Also some work training is being offered. Fingers crossed he can keep the equilibrium he has now. they are doing an amazing job. He came home today and it seems to be a trigger for his voices to get nasty so i had to take him back again after 3 hours. Next his pdoc wants hi to come out and stay overnight a few times before release as a slow immersion back to home life.


#13

That’s really good news. He seems to be getting very good care.