Morning all. Just curious how those who care for a loved one with SZ feel when (if) they manage to take a break. I have not stopped since last November managing and caring for my son. And the two /3 years run up to that were constant worry as he started to get sick. And to be honest I have felt totally drained / tired the past few weeks it was really getting to me
Finally I got a break last weekend. My brother moved into my house for the weekend and I skipped across the water to Berlin for a long weekend. I admit it was great! Just sat in the airport enjoying a beer, without having to watch the clock for meds or check on my son. Then the guilt hit me. My brother told me to NOT call, and he would call me if they were issues. I managed to relax in the end and admit I had an amazing time. Eating and drinking in that great City. It felt so normal so good to be connected to the “world again” … I even got drunk on the Saturday night … something I have not allowed myself to do for months. Even the hangover the next morning felt like “normality”
I got updates from my brother and my son was calm and no issues. My brother also had the support of the intervention team and Crises in the evening if it was needed. It was not thankfully!
I felt so refreshed on returning, was excited to see my son and he loved the gifts I bought him (hoddie and other trinkets ) and yes bad dad I got him some German chocolates .. It was funny how he squirrelled then away to his room like a little boy when I gave him the gifts. He waited up with my brother until 2am for my return. And I could see he was glad I was back even though he didnt say it.
But I had this lingering guilt there I was out having a good time and he was home still with his issues. How do others manage this ? do you feel its important for carers to cut themself some slack sometimes ?
My brother offered to do it again in the new year but still is it right ? thanks Dino