Help with confronting?

Hi everyone,

My name is Becca and I have been dating a man who has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia for the past 8 years. My problem is that often he rather ‘self-medicates’ with wine and beer than take medication. This leads to violent and aggressive behaviour towards me for obvious reasons. He often tells me that there is nothing wrong with him although he acknowledges that he has SZ. He will tell everyone that he doesn’t hear any voices although he holds whole conversations with something. Or he will answer questions to someone that is not in the room. Why at times he can have a little insight, and other times he denies everything? And how do you guys convince a person with SZ to take (much needed) medication? And how do you keep them off alcohol? Asking him has no use, he will become very angry and buys alcohol secretly when I am not around. It can be very draining and not to mention that walking on egg-shells regarding his behaviour is emotionally draining. Thanks for any insight!

There is no excuse for drinking to the point of being a butthead. If he gets aggressive and violent to you and he is aware he is doing this, it isn’t going to get any better than it is right now.
He has to stop drinking until he can learn to control his bad behavior, otherwise, it is up to you to stay as long as you can handle it, because he probably wont ever change if he doesn’t have to.

…that makes perfect sense. Then I am probably enabling his behaviour :-s

Welcome to the forum @Becca

Using LEAP may help. - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner. - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on and you should find some long videos
Treatment Advocacy Center - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.

My son can have some insight however when he drinks or using marijuana that insight goes out the window rather quickly. AA or Al-Anon may be an option if he is open to it.

Sometimes I have to take stands with my son on how he talks to or treats me.

Is he in any type of treatment program?
Early Psychosis Treatment center information in these two links

Psychiatric Treatment Centers affiliated with Medical Schools in the USA

Thanks! He will not accept any treatment, just to have him take medication is a huge battle.
I will check the links you’ve send, definitely worth a try … Thanks.

Hi Becca~
it`s very hard to convince someone when they have little insight. Also hard to get him to stop drinking until he wants to. I wish you luck-there is also a lot of good info on this site.

With my husband, I have had to remind him that while he had a right to not take medication, I had a right to not be in a relationship. AND I had to be ready and willing to make good on that. If he becomes abusive or refuses to take meds, I have a right to leave and see to my own well being first.

Hi Ping

Thanks, that’s basically what I did: leave- until he is willing to take some form of treatment. I don’t tolerate violence so now it’s his choice of what to do. It is hard because he has so little insight of his illness and I am worried sick that something is going to happen because no-one is keeping an eye on him now, but I feel that I have no other choice- it’s like someone wrote in this topic "they don’t change if they don’t have to"
I find it a loose/loose situation…

firstly you have to look after yourself.
secondly he has to respect you…being sz is no excuse for dis-respecting someone.
take care