I got out of the relationship for the last time in 2014, when my ex’s paranoia was stopping me from doing anything: getting a job, starting a business, going back to education, seeing friends and family, or doing anything except being cooped up in his flat on benefits.
Although I have gotten back on my own two feet since leaving, both his positive and negative symptoms have gotten worse along with his physical health and mobility since I left. (By the way, my ex is not diagnosed, and I am not medically qualified to diagnose him, but I recognise the signs because I had to study clinical neuropsychology as part of my neuroscience degree.)
I speak to him twice a week on the phone, and limit him to that, and refuse to pick up the phone or answer messages in between, otherwise he wants to absorb all my time and attention just as he did when we lived together, and I can’t indulge him all the time as I am now extremely busy training for a new career. He lives for our phone calls and gets angry and upset when I have something else to do and need to reschedule the call. His clinginess and neediness seem to have gotten so much worse, despite me telling him that while I am happy to chat twice a week, don’t get any illusions of us getting back together. I can’t tell if it’s the SZ getting worse that’s making him hanker after me just as much or even more than when we were an item, but I really wish he’d learn to stand on his own two feet emotionally speaking.
After all these years I don’t think there’s any chance that he will see a doctor or get diagnosed, and I’m not scared of his little puppy dog behaviour or anything like that because we both enjoy our chats, but I wonder if there are any resources with advice I could use to encourage him to regulate his emotional attachments better and be more self-sufficient.