Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

How do you deal with frustration?

What do you do when your son/or daughter refuses to go to doctor, dentist appointments.
Won’t do anything with his time except hear music. Listens to the music real loud and won’t listen to you telling him to lower the volume that he will have hearing loss. Not being able
to have a conversation will cut me off or if on the phone hangs up.

Do I just give up? And say nothing.

Any advice?

I will be here waiting to hear what others say as well, I go through overwhelming difficulties sometimes too… Sending you love and best wishes of healing and happiness

I don’t have these exact issues but when I do have frustrations and concerns, I go to a NAMI Family Support Group. One of the principles I learn there is that we cannot solve all problems. I also learn to not give up hope. Sometimes (at NAMI) we talk about setting boundaries. Some people use bribes or rewards for good behavior. I also talk to a few friends that care enough to listen to my troubles. I am a strong believer in using the methodology of LEAP as described in the book “I Am Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help” to get my loved one to take meds. It is not easy, but it is worth it to me to keep trying.

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Occasionally, she plays the radio or tv loudly, but mostly she talks/screams loud conversation.

We handled partially by putting a solid wooden door on her room instead of a hollow door, by building an extra door/wall into the hallway between her room and the rest of the house, by soundproofing the door to the bedroom straight across from her room, running fans, noise machines for white/brown noise, and by knocking politely and saying “I can hear you/your TV/your radio” or “I can hear you going hoarse, perhaps you should talk quieter”. The frustration over the noise is the worst thing, it sets everyone’s nerves jangling. She will argue with me through her door, but when I leave she usually turns the volume down.

I am planning to call the A/C man to re-run the vents over her room and another bed and bathroom as the noise travels through the vents between the rooms she is not in, but that vents connect.

Ideally, she needs a separate cottage or something, but I cannot afford that. All her support is out of pocket to us, no government help as of yet.

The frustration of it all wins sometimes with me, and I cry…

Can you get him a decent set of headphones for the music? I also have the wireless headphones for his TV. This has helped a ton.