Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

How to implement rules for adult kids?


#1

Right now my son is doing well, but that is because the mntl hlth ctr has lock down, rules and privlages, how do we compete with that once he is released? One of the ongoing problems we had when he lived at home was this need to go out for late night walks,(between 10pm and 12am), we were uncomfortable with him doing this, as our anxiety levels went too high waiting for the worst news (offing himself or trouble with the law). We would explain this and get told how screwed up we are as parents (with not nice language) The other hard thing is explaining our lack of funds, he would let us know how most people have money and what losers we are. I try to let his words bounce off, but it is difficult not to get defensive and we resort to “don’t like it , get out”. My husband’s heart starts to race and we often end up calling the ambulance. He is insensitive to this and I don’t want to guilt trip him so he gets depressed. How do you make schzios feel empathy.?


#2

Can you start pushing the walk earlier? Or in the morning? It is great that he’s walking but perhaps find a safer time and place? You are not a loser if you have a son with schizophrenia and are loving and taking care of him. You are an angel in my book. This is definitely the MI speaking mom. Let it roll off your back and give him a big hug and tell him some things money can’t bye. Keeping it light works best. God bless your son and family.


#3

Schizophrenics need a break from people.I’m not saying this is what your son goes through but how I describe it to people is:

Imagine everytime you are around other people your fists were clinched as tightly as they could be and you had to hold them that way. There is a deep relaxing calm we get from Solitude (positive alone time). He gets upset because you are telling him too keep his fists balled up when they are already cramping.

Sunday mornings are an excellent time to go walking and avoid crowds. If you are religious and he misses church so be it, I think God will give him a pass. Or just try working on giving him some space sometimes.


#4

thanks for your understanding words, he called the other day and needs money for an outing to the mall, he asked me if I could take out a loan.(bahaha), I told him I would see what I could do. Last night the car door broke and I need to have it fixed, I already owe money to people, and I turned the phone off cause I just can’t deal with saying no I can’t afford a lousy $50. bucks just can’t do it kid, and I can’t visit either. I’m gonna have to tell him tonite and just tell him I’ll make it up when I get paid. sometimes I wish I could be the one that doesn’t have to deal with reality. Hope he doesn’t have a setback, I just wanna scream.


#5

The mental illness makes them only think about themselves. I know it’s so difficult to deal with. I’m only now coming to realize that my son will never be “normal”. He is 32, and like your son, he can’t stay home, he also has to be “on the go” which gets him into trouble, he got his nose broken a few days ago. Take care of yourself before you have a breakdown. I started seeing a professional counselor to have someone to talk to about all the problems I deal with because I became extremely depressed.