I need help with my father

Hi, my dad has acute schizophrenia. I’m a combat veteran, the oldest out of four brothers. Two of my brothers both have a family and one of my brothers have passed away, so I’m the only one right now watching my dad. However, my dad usually doesn’t get his symptoms often.

Up until this year and last year, his symptoms have been getting worse. He has been to the behavior center about 6 times now, which is a lot because he hasn’t been to one since 2014. He has been really aggressive, once instance, he attacked two nurses this year at the hospital, and he been making threats talking about snapping necks and such.

I’m worried because he has periodontal disease and every time I take him to get work done for his gums, he starts to panic, which causes the operation to be canceled. Since he has been experience symptoms, it has been hard for me to live my normal life.

I understand that I have to be there for my dad, but now it seems like this is going to be daily thing now, so I have been thinking to quit working and care for my dad. How will I get money to pay for things? I mean, I can become his permanent caregiver, but they are going to only give me 600 bucks for a month! That is not enough for me or my dad to live off. I have many bills. I am not to sure what to do as of now.

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Dear whattodo,

I am sorry you are going through this. Since you are a combat veteran and loyal son, I understand the unshakable feelings of obligation to care for your father, a person you love and wish the best for.

From what you have described, maybe start talking to social workers and anyone involved with your father’s medical care, anyone anywhere who can get your dad some financial and logistical assistance. Maybe the VA would help since you are a veteran.

It sounds like you do not want to consider this, but try to research excellent residential care near where you live. Turn over the medical and practical tasks to professionals who can watch out for him 24/7, work towards your own financial equilibrium, and spend a huge amount of quality time with him at the care center or taking him out.

That is just one possible idea; I hope the best for you both.

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Mmm. I actually wonder if the periodontal disease is triggering the episodes. It can trigger heart attacks because it causes inflammation in the blood vessels. Maybe the same inflammation can affect the brain and trigger episodes. I think maybe you can think about explaining that to him, speaking to his psych doctor and persuading your dad to take a sedative the morning before he goes for treatment so he doesn’t panic and cancel again and again.

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Can you afford to have the dentist give him nitrous oxide? It works well for my son and a Atavan got him to lie still for an MRI once. Also know kidney infections can cause psychosis in elderly patients. take care