Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I think I'm letting go


#1

My boyfriend has always been hard to manage ,but now I may be pregnant. I cannot hold on to this relationship anymore. One week we’re good we’re looking at wedding dresses,and the next week he’s calling me nasty names,screaming and yelling at me . I’m so lost and confused i am a single mother already,and now I am preparing myself to be a single parent again ,when we both took part in making this baby. I want no dealings with him after the hurt and pain he cause me today how can I make sure he never come back into my life, and or I don’t fall back into his life?


#2

Get a restraining order.


#3

Breakups are always hard. Breaking up with an emotionally unstable person is probably the worst. I agree that a restraining order is something you might need. If there is any violence, threatened violence, or smashing of property, you can probably get a restraining order through your local court. You can ask for as long as you need: months, years, etc.

Going to a women’s shelter is an option also.

When I left my ex I ran away: drove somewhere new, used only throwaway cell phones so I could choose numbers with different area codes, and became unfindable until the divorce was final (I didn’t go to court with him at any point). It was an terrible time for me, and it took almost everything I had to get away (money and sanity-wise). But it would have been worse had I stayed. My kids didn’t understand at the time, but as adults, they are aware of what happened and agree that it needed to go that way.

Good luck. Take action.


#4

My biggest fear is him trying to harm me.I’ve Never left and stuck with it, I’ve always come back to him. This time is much different, and I know he won’t be able to handle it once he realizes he is not in control and this is not one his games he can play. He’s never physically abused me,but he once screamed at me and cursed me out so bad it terrifed me. He also told me he would spit in my face. I was abused before and he makes jokes about it,and says some woman deserve to get hit… I just know in my heart I am done,I just don’t know how he will react once it sets in


#5

I am really sorry for what you are going through. You sound like you have made a wise decision even though extremely difficult. It may or may not be feasible, but have you considered possibly moving to a new place and getting a really fresh start in more ways than one? Sometimes we all need that, I know I have before. Moving is hard too but sometimes worth it. I would also recommend seeking counseling for yourself to help you with this difficult time in your life. Having a real life (but objective) sounding board really helps a lot.


#6

Yes I been looking for someone to talk too.people don’t understand how hard it is.its so hard


#7

There is not much future in a love relationship with a person who has SZ unless the person is getting appropriate treatment (usually medication) and/or you are willing to learn all you can about the illness and get information and advice from an organization like NAMI (NAMI.org) and then do the hard work that follows. It sounds like you already have a lot on your plate, especially with children. They (and you) are your first priority now.


#8

Yes, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is true that love with a person with sz is very difficult if not impossible at times. I agree with the other posters here that you need to take care of yourself, get counseling for yourself, and keep yourself and your children safe. This will not make you selfish.
I support you leaving him and I hope you have family or friends nearby to help you.


#9

Thank you so much for your positivity. I’m really happy I have people to talk to about this. It sad but this disease is not talked about alot. My family doesn’t understand.


#10

This site is the best place to find support. In the “real” world, very very few people understand sz. Chances are great that none of your friends and family will take the time to learn about sz so that they really understand.