Switch roles and my Brother would be you and I would be your brother.
ALL that you have said in a lot of ways is that we are similar. This switch is complicated because i had Schizophrenia and now we think he might.
I have treated him like shit
He said it’s always been
he has done all he can for our relationship
organising short trips and being caring with all his soul and supportive
I have spent years trying to improve but all i have now is my dad and mum is out of the picture almost.
my brother’s position my brother is in sounds exactly what you are saying
my brother has had all of my living life to be a brother to me, to learn from me and to rely on me for moral support. I have been an example at many times in my life. Through victories and struggles, he’s decided to pretend I’m just someone else in his life he can be happy FOR (rarely) but not really happy WITH. He has never taken my advice seriously and I think he’s so far gone he doesn’t even know how to love anymore. I’ve spent much time trying to help him both directly and indirectly - all the while taking the best care of me I could. He, in return, rewards me by not applying the guidance I give him
This and all that you say almost has been the same as his path and our path
except in our case he is also unwell
alcoholic, lives with our Dad and is psychotic himself.
The third sibling was our middle sister
psychotic for years
now we 3 have been psychotic for years at a time each.
I have had a lot of advice to stay away from the chaos. To take care of myself
that i have the point of view that my dad says to take care of me first
Losing me would be a double tragedy
My dad saying that to me really makes me feel he must know exactly how uptight i get and afraid of him. I have to walk on eggshells
I know he does too.
He recently decided to get his own life back… along with some of the most floridly psychotic things happening with him yet.
It feels pointless talking about all the similarities
i would like to share insight into his cold behaviour towards you
I can only explain that he loves you very much
and probably freezes a lot out of fear of getting it wrong
I love my Brother and i know he will have to stop drinking and psychosis his own way
at the same time i feel that you have written exactly the kind of post my Brother would write