My heart is missing my son

I’m guessing that if it is an urge that he can resist then maybe keep an eye on it for now.

I rock. If I’m too still and too quiet for too long, I end up rocking. Sometimes it’s a sign that I’m starting to sink into my head. Other times it’s just pent up energy that I can’t get out. I’m not able to get up and run around in class or if I’m out to lunch with the sis, I can’t just run around the place. So I do end up rocking.

When I find myself rocking too much it’s time to get up and leave for a moment, walk around around outside. If I’m out to a meal, my sis will take this as a sign to have desert boxed up and we’ll go to the park where I can sort of burn off that tension, nervous energy, what ever makes it happen and then I can sit back down.

If he’s watching t.v. and being inactive, and bobbing, maybe a walk with you around the block or a tread mill, would be better then a med change?

Did you ever try any alternative healing method beside western medicine?
You have to look into different alternatives.

I agree with Light, maybe bring in a Buddhist Yoga Teacher and try to help him heal his body from the stress. If he is able to do things that you suggest, he might be willing to try meditation or Yoga. It’s very balancing and safe.

Thanks, I have been telling him to help me to remember to exercise every night when I get home,So new I do mine and then he does it too, Yesterday he told me that he did 100 arm curls and I did my 25…So it seems what I do he is willing to try,I told him that I thought his bobbing was just from doing nothing and he agreed. So maybe we both can get in shape…

I hope you don’t mind my “on the outside looking in” view point, but you’ve been able to discuss something with him that is happening and concerning you…

he didn’t get defensive, he agreed and he’s willing to try something new…

This is a very very good sign. He’s headed in a good direction. Keep the hope and the patience… it looks like it’s paying off. :thumbsup:

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I feel your pain. It’s a difficult road. We are lucky to have our sons with us. They are loved.

I am happy for you and for your son…for today.

Dear Heartbroken, I know exactly how you feel. At one time I also felt that way. It isn’t fair that our children have to struggle so much but I am here to tell you that your son still has a life to live and enjoy. It’s not what you expected or wanted for your son but in time you will accept this and feel at peace. I know your son’s life will get better. There is a lot of research going on right now and who knows what is around the corner. None of us came to this world with any guarantees of a certain life. My heart goes out to you because I’ve been where you are.

thank you so much.I am learning to cope with I guess my dreams for him, now the life that we are living…it gets better every day just some days are better than others…HUGS!!

My heart aches for you and I share the grief regarding my 30 year old son, who remains unmedicated, untreated and sicker each year. However–there is always hope and ‘recalibrating’ the relationship. Thankfully he’s alive and in front of you.
Hold on, and embrace the positives…they’re there.

Welcome to the forum @LJS1956

Thanks so much, joelsgirlkathy.
Coping is all that we can do. Not a club that we would have asked to have joined, but here we are. :smile:
Take good care.

Never give up, you are his biggest advocate. Call NAMI, find services for him. Talk to him! You are already doing good by being on this forum.

I can totally relate, my son has schizophrenia. He is nearly 21. He got unwell around 15-16. He was the light of my life. He is recovering, he may never be the same warm funny person he once was but we are glad that he is no longer in hospital or unable to communicate with us. It is the most distressing thing to not be able to protect and save your child. Infact ive never felt such a sense of despair ever in my life. Fortunatly after 18 months of treatment and hospitilisation they had a breakthrough with the drug arapiprizole, used with olanzapine. We noticed improvements after 1month, my boy started working again, before that heyd been staring at the ceilings smiling unable to have any kind of meaningful conversion.
hes been back at home for 18 months now, he is working and has just recently stRted making friends, which is massive. Dont give up, and do keep at his healthcare team to try new pharmaceutical therapys. It takes a while to trial each med but if you get the right one… what a huge difference it can make.

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Welcome to the forum @nevagiveup.

My son is 20, diagnosed at 17 and currently on a good med regimen and stable.

I’m glad to read that your son is doing good and recovering.

I understand so very well. I have had days the same, come home from work to see my son in the same position staring into space listening to his mind TV. I think we can just focus on the good days and believe there are many, many more ahead and that with solid, sustained “being there for him” and as much positive thinking as we can manage, there will be brighter days and more normal times. It is like a fatal illness yes but it is not fatal. In that respect we are lucky. I do think your son will return, like the good old days- maybe just a few days or months at a time but with the right medication - and balance of that medication- it is not impossible. You haven’t lost him. You are there and he is there, and every day is a new day of hope.Don’t give up. Try new doctors, new advice, read as much as you can. Get him to talk if you possibly can. You are doing great to just be there and love him and by reaching out to others for support. Hug.

Welcome to the forum @forevercarer.

I agree that hope can take us far :sunny:

My son is 22. Diagnosed at 13- early onset. I have great hopes he will recover. Many do!!! I work at a rehab center and have seen it. So agree- getting the right balance of meds and making sure they are taken is so key to stabilization (and has to be assessed regularly). And thank you for the welcome!! :slight_smile:

I felt so aione when my only son was diagnosed a year ago he had just graduated from college I thought the world was at his fingertips and this disease we still grieve his fathers suicide it was explained to me that this is genetic he can talk to me now I had to move him to another state to get a doctor not on tv he now has a doctor that cares I got h out of a group home that did not fed them you know they are not regulated we ran up credit card bills checking on him each weekend he ran away to get supper one night I worked everyday because I am a widow while I was grief stricken over my only son cancer would be easier to deal with they have not closed the hospitals I had to fight to get a decent doctor I thank god for I had to move him from Alabama to Georgia with my 78 year old mother I am looking for a job so I can move in with her and help with him he goes to a center each day I have to pay bills from his illness there are no jobs in the town in Georgia I moved him to he has improved with the new doctor changing his meds. Your post missing my son helped me I am not alone I miss my old son and love my new one I want to help him just like a mother with cancer wants to help her son I will pray for you and your son