Great advice. It can take years to get the right mediation for your person/self. But how amazing it is when you hit the jackpot. One drug like a shoe does not fit all. Early onset SZ like this (and my son has same) is hard for the parent because we lose those exciting teen years that we see their (once) friends going through. But nobody can read the future and at the end of the day - through all the highs and lows- our precious person is alive and alive= hope and ‘nevagiveup’ HAS to be our mantra! 
I have a good doctor for my son I may have to move him back to Alabama. Mother does not need to caregive alone. I can’t find job in Georgia. I am so upset. It’s hard to find a job where the doctor and center is. I have to trust god and bring him back to this hell. I am depressed and angry. It’s not fair to my mother. I am trusting god I have to do this.
Please pray my mother now has pneumonia. Run down. I still have no job there. I had to work today. I have to work in the morning she has a high fever with him there.i can’t quit work my husband killed himself. This is why I wished we were all dead some days I live in dementia schizophrenic hell
I know how you feel but sometimes we just need to stop! stand still and breath… Things will work its self out getting all wacked out is not helping you or anyone else…Please think of your self…we all need each other, we all are living in this hell of Schizophrenic…hang in there! Never wish death on your self or your family…you still have hope that’s all we all have with out HOPE we have nothing… HUGS…
I guess I am not afraid of death after all this. I am tired of worrying about mother my son and finances. I could hardly function at work today. The first part of my life was great. Nothing good happens. I look farward to going to sleep not to worry. I hate watching my mother grieve over my son. I trying to hold on. God has to handle this mess. It’s bigger than me.
Hang in there @laurasvineyard!I feel the same way today!We have to do everything we can to stay calm+keep centered.I am so sick from the stress-thought seriously about walking outside until I’m too exhausted to care.Please know that you are not alone!I also prayed this morning for God to help me get thru the day.We can do this!
I did not have the gas money to visit my mother and son I feel real sad. It has got to get better god help us I hate this disease
I’m sorry for what you are going through. Not sure I can help. My son now age 27 keeps busy on the computer and does go for walks with his dog. He lives with us, and we supply his needs. Even purchased health insurance for him. He certainly is not the son who previously had a good job he loved and his own apt and car. I miss that son. But it didn’t help that the girls he went with were all so mean to him. I could mention this, and advise, but he had to learn for himself. I’m so sad SZ developed in him. I still love him very much, of course and can provided for him at least until my death. I’m praying for the day he gets back on meds as I’ve been told those who have this dz can live a pretty normal life. Some days my son sits and chats with me like his old self. A few minutes later he’s in his room cussing out someone who his taunting him in his mind. So baffling to me. That’s where meds would help. He’s a very intelligent young man and know he could make himself a good life.
Welcome to the forum @buggliboo.
I will add my good thoughts to your prayers that your son will decide to go back on medications. 
I pray he takes his meds and get better i am glad you can be with htm
I like these comments about seeing “glimpses” of the child we once had. And yes, it’s very hard to see our kids not having the fun all of their friends are out their having. Sometimes I don’t even want to have fun, knowing he is not. But I’ve come to look at it as a “new normal.” And you’re right, no one can see into the future and what obstacles others may have to bear in later years. I seem to fall back on old AA mantras I learned from years of dealing w/alcoholics – the Serenity Prayer and also “One Day at a Time.”
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He may, he may not. Or he may be a different son, yet no less beautiful. My son was/is extremely intelligent and was in his freshman year at Pitt (majoring in Pharmacology, ironic, no?) when his first episode of SZ hit. Very frightening and scary. Here we are over 6 years later still dealing with major illness, though we have both learned a lot since then about meds, Drs., hospitals, sympathetic friends, etc. Hang in there and keep reading on this site. It has certainly helped me.
Tonight I feel resentful. I drive from Alabama to Georgia to visit my son and mother. We have bad bills from his mental illness. We were told he was bipolar and would be able to work. He missed his medicine and became schizo effective. We hospitalized him. He was in a group home from hell. He is now in Georgia to have a good doctor. My mother maxed out her credit card to visit him in the group home from hell. Now she can’t get a new stove. Her oven does not. Work. I can’t find a job here. I am thinking about going bankrupt. I am angry because he did not take his medicine. He hurt my mother also. She takes him to the center each day . Her later years are ruined. She loves him but she lets me know it. She sees her friends get to do things she can’t have because of his illness. This is painful for me to see her do without. When he use to be function able I had to take loans to get some of his medicine insurance would not get. Now he is on ssi. I pay these loans off. I can’t find a job near mama to help.i am a preachers daughter. She cries because he won’t go to church. I have to get up in the morning at 300 am to drive back to Alabama to go to a job from hell. I don’t see our lives getting better i try to be positive and it seems to get worse. I keep praying for gods mercey. I pray for a miracle. I guess I am delusional. We ruined mothers last years. Ill never have the finances to help her. My husband committed suicide. He took the easy way out.
Wow @laurasvineyard!It sounds like you are goin thru he##!I’m sending you some hugs+support.Not sure what advice to give other than to try and tackle one problem at a time.Looking at everything all at once gets very overwhelming sometimes.I am trying to make arrangements(money,etc)to take my son out-of-state for help.It takes a lot of strength some days to keep going!Please take a moment to do something to ease your spirit-listen to music,watch ducks at a park,get a sundae at ice cream place-anything to help you get thru this moment.
Hi Laurasvineyard, I’m sorry this is all so hard for you. What a tough situation.
This is just a thought, but have you ever considered moving you, your son and your mom to the Atlanta area? There are plenty of doctors, hospitals and job opportunities here.
I understand that you are going through tough times but you are wrong. It is not “the easy way out”.
I understand and believe there are worse things than death. My husband was hurting the way I hurt now. He was extremely hurting . I am glad he did not see his son hurt. That would have been his worse pain of all . I would rather hurt than see my mother and son hurt. I would rather be dead than watch them hurt. I would love to move to Atlanta if I could relocate my mother would hate to lose her home. If I could not afford a stove I probably don’t have initial money to relocate.unless a real good job opened. I try to keep going because my mother and son need me. I get very tired from the stress I am under. If I died tonight I had a good life. I suffer when my son hurts just as if it was cancer. I suffer when my mom tells me how she hurts. I am trying to get the stength to help them and I
Know hell I am depressed. I worry about their needs. I pray for god to help me help them. My son and mother are good people that did not ask for this. I would be at peace when god takes me with my husband. I hate to think how he hurt before he died.
From Our Ultimate Reality- Life, The Universe and the Destiny of Mankind;
Several months after my wifes suicide she threw "Angels & Demons’ to the floor off the bed-stand and replaced it with this book which had been in a box somewhere and I hadnt seen in quite awhile.
The night I brought it in my room to read some I left it on the floor and the glass candle holder broke suddenly and the top part fell on the cover of the book, painting both our initials in wax.
"Chapter 32: Suicide
Suicide is without doubt one of the most tragic situations, not only
for the shocked and bereaved love ones left behind, but also for the
person who felt so compelled to take his or her own physical life.
When a person takes their own life, contrary to what they might
believe at the time, they do not escape from anything at all except
the physical world, at which point any chance of resolving the
problems from which they sought refuge are lost. The actual
problems in all of their original magnitude are still brought with the
person to the Astral world where they will be fully remembered, and
still have to be fully faced and reconciled.
The need for stability is particularly important for the newly
deceased person in the case of suicide. Often when a person takes
their own life they sincerely believe before and at the time that it is
the end of everything. They believe they will escape the physical
world forever, together with all of the trials, tribulations and misery
they perceived as the reality of daily “life”. In accordance with the
religion or “belief system” of the person, they will anticipate either a
complete escape into oblivion, thereby ending everything, or they
might go to “heaven” for all eternity.
The reality however is very different indeed as the person will soon
discover. As we have already discussed, memory is not a function
of the organic brain. All memories of all lives past present and
future are eternally stored in the causal body of each individual
being within causal sphere of the Ether, the Akasha, The Universe.
When transitioning to the Astral world there will therefore be full and
vivid memory of every aspect of the previous life, memories that will
be much more vivid than they were while still inhabiting the physical
body. "
I know your wife must have been a strong spiritual person. I believe my husband was a spiritual person. It was explained to me he was tired. It almost killed us to lose him. Our family never the same. He was good to us I believe he is in heaven and I pray in no more pain. I believe we don’t treat emotional pain like physical pain. I know he was confused because he never would hurt me or my son I wish he would have told us he hurt. Thank you for your text
I wish I could take my mother to the beach for two nights.she gave up everything for my son and I. I am dreaming but it’s ok to dream. It keeps me from losing hope. She has been great but she comments on her last years being like this with my son