Joelsgirlkathy, didn’t arbitraily say she wants to put her son in a group home. She has tried many other things before this.The decision comes from an accumulation of putting up with bad behaviour for awhile. The violent incident is just the straw that broke to camels back. If he can’t control himself then he needs to leave Kathy’s house. She could be seriously hurt by him and needs to protect herself. If protecting yourself is selfish then so beit. It’s not like putting her son in a home was her first choice. All her sons behaviur has led up to this.
I can only say I’m sorry this happened. Your own safety is a priority that can’t be ignored. I took my son to a shelter because I was afraid of what he could be capable of when not stable. I can’t say it has worked out as I planned due to other family members getting involved however the goal was to get him in a group home where he could get the help that I unfortunately could not provide. All the love in the world was/is not going to help him get stable again and learn to manage his illness. Good luck on finding and getting him into a group home asap.
i agree witha group home. weekly visits to let him know he still has family. it does sicken me to think if i ever get alzheimers ill die in a group home because this society takes the easy way out. the violence has to stop, and cans top with injectable medicine. however, i hope an pray when i am older im not sent to a home where people are sick, away from real love and real family. this thought makes me sad. i hope at least you can agree he cant help his behavior, and cant change it without medicines.
saying “its ok to let go, its okay to give up.” is just allowing yourself to be selfish. take it for what it is.
i do really really hope my family doesnt give up on me when im 75 years old and have dementia. please lord let me die around family.
please dont let him forget he has family. my uncle with schizophrenia died in a group home, he was only ever picked up for christmas and thanksgiving and didnt know his family because of it. noone came to his funeral except my grandma, not even his brothers and sisters. i was too young to understand what was happening. just dont forget about him because some people will forget about him. you have to worry about your son, its not illegal not to, or even psychological sound but its the proper thing to do when it comes to treating others the way you like to be treated and the golden rule. my cousins choosing meth and guys over her child. i know it doesnt sound like the same thing, but the same mindset as far as emotions occurs. its difficult when people get sick, for everybody not just the patient. please dont let him become the homeless person on the street because his mindsets no different than someone with alsheimers or down syndrome. he truly cant help his behavior anymore than they can.
Yes, being unmedicated is one of the factors in violent behaviur from people with schizophrenia. joelsgirlkathy does not strike me as a parent who will just give up on her son and not ever visit him. But I know what you’re talking about, I have lived with and seen the people who suffer alone with no family. It’s very sad.
Im not saying its not okay to feel like giving up. Im saying its not okay to do so. A group home for violence isnt giving up.
I understand that you fear abandonment by your family, and I agree we should never give up on our families. But when violence arises, there are two important points. No carer wants to be seriously injured or killed. That’s pretty obvious. But ironically, as a carer, you know that if your family member does something serious, it will affect her/him maybe more than you. When my son was getting more and more aggressive, I thought, “if he kills me, he won’t be able to live with himself later, so that’s both our lives gone, and even if he only hurts me but ends up in prison, he won’t survive prison,” so asking him to leave was as much or more for him than it was for me. Some decisions are hard but necessary for the best.
That is not an excuse for anger & violence tho
I will never let him be alone, I will be there at all times he is my only child, Just he needs other things in his life that I can’t do for him…I also know what you are talking about…never will I leave him… but he needs to be some where else where they can supervise him, not in fear
He has to accept that he is sick and that will never happen, s for his meds he knows that no one can make him take the meds, In my state anyway, told him after the last episode, f you ever stop your meds your life will fall apart, this is what he did, knowing this would happen, e is a smart person But nothing sinks in on med or not…My life has been all about him for 4 years now and I am no further along than from the 1st day when this happen to him…
hell accept it. those doctors will probably start him on invega shots and hell get better i hope. maybe they can give him therapy. i dont remember being violent with my dad but i very well could have been because i was 100% positive he was in the CIA probing me with nanotech because sensations in my body “proved it.” im sure he still loves you, thank again for sending him to a home and loving him hopefully hell recover one day. invega lasts a month long with one shot.
Update…He came home from the hospital after only 2 days in the hospital, they were just going to put him out to the streets, so being the mother I am I went and got him… He never went back on his meds…It has gotten so bad that he is now back in the hospital ,hearing and seeing codes thru tv and computer, finally he called 2 different people looking for a gun, said he had people to kill and then his self, REALLY I expect them to keep him a day or two and back home he comes, tired and at my wits end, how do you save someone from their self…when the system fails us
I am a schizophrenic,my parents do the best for me,I take my medicine but I am not happy,they are not happy too…I feel they tried their best,I am so scared now,because I take my meds daily,yet I am not stable,I want to say sorry to my parent because I really fail as a child,I really don’t see anything wrong in group homes,group homes had people similiar to you,you could gain insight there maybe
you did not fail your parents you have a disease that can’t be helped, I am not happy because my son won’t stay on his meds, Maybe your doctor can change your meds,it may be time to try something different, At least you are staying on meds, I just spoke to my son in the hospital and to my amazement he took the Invega shot the one thing he said he would never do, He said he is tired of taking pills and the side affects,so I am doing some research on this…Have you ever been in a group home?I just got back from my visit and it lasted a whole 10 minutes we had to meet in the lobby and the tv was on and he was so distracted from trying not to look at it he asked me to go home so he could go back in his room to lay down…sad moma but I understand
I am writing you from an assisted living center for the mentally ill in Eastern Oklahoma. I imagine that is pretty much the same as a group home where you live. Where I am is not a bad place. It’s not a resort, but it does have its amenities, along with its trials. Nothing too bad. I’ve never seen a person hurt in a fight here, or anything like that. Life is simple, and I deal with it by getting into the simple pleasures. It’s not a bad way to live. There are differences in the quality of these places. Where I am we go to town once a week. There is a place not far from here where they go to town once a month. You might want to shop around a little before you decide which group home to put your son in.
thanks so much for the info…
When he is medicated you should ask him about the voices.
Mine have even proven to me they can physically harm a person, they even bent my spine once which made me begin gasping for air.
do you know what is wrong with him? it’s them.
You can’t help him until you know what is wrong with him, otherwise it will be sheer madness. It’s like someone talking to someone with cancer in some other way that is nonconducive to the situation, it would drive them mad.
Ask him some questions when he is medicated. for him.
I have tried and he never opens up,This time it was the tv telling him that when he was in the hospital before they gave him aids…Paranoid SZ is his diagnoses