New to this site, need advice

[hope]

Thanks Hereandhere - what a surprise it was!

[Author_Charity_Marie]

@Squid

My son is now having delusions about your boy and as it seems he is starting to act on those delusions by trying to smother (literally, tried to kill!!) your son…Wow…life is not going in the direction that I thought it would.

Oh boy do I get this. I never had any delusions about my daughter and her potential, or so I thought. Then she hit some child in face with the child’s lunch box for no reason in front of half the school. That’s when things started to go off the rails. Then she tried to stab my son with a pencil. And my brain just helplessly said, “What?!” And the school reacted by suspending her. And my son reacted by hiding. And I responded by punishing her. And my husband responded by spanking her and grounding her. And we all became very very wary and distant from her. And she was baffled. No one looked at it as anything other than disobedience and acting out. Never mind that this was atypical behavior for a 7 year old girl. Now she can tell me about the hallucinations and delusions behind it but at that age she couldn’t.

Nope, no judgement at all here. We have been and done that and there’s a lot of shame we are working through. My husband wants me to talk to someone but I keep asking him, How can I and not get CPS called? A normal person would think I am nuts and some already do. I have been accused of so many things over the years I find it hard to trust on this issue. My husband wanted to call CPS for help and I had a panic attack they would take away my child, even though I have done nothing wrong.

Big hugs Squid. We are not crazy nor are we alone.

[Hummingbird]

My son is only 13, but I tend to go along with plans, even though they seem unlikely. With the right medication, maybe?
He seems to be comforted by coming up with a plan of where he would get an apartment, what car he would drive, etc.
in his case he is more stable than he used to be, so it might not be comparable. He does worry about the future.

[Squid]

@Author_Charity_Marie

And the school reacted by suspending her. And my son reacted by hiding. And I responded by punishing her. And my husband responded by spanking her and grounding her. And we all became very very wary and distant from her. And she was baffled. No one looked at it as anything other than disobedience and acting out. Never mind that this was atypical behavior for a 7 year old girl. Now she can tell me about the hallucinations and delusions behind it but at that age she couldn’t.

You described the behavior realities perfectly!

With our son, I was shocked…SHOCKED to discover that when he attacked a boy in PE the school said they were NOT going to put this event on his record as he is so “very sweet” and really didn’t mean to.

He mentioned it (this event) just the other day. He could fill in more details now (as you referenced…years later they can then tell you the rest of the story. ) He told me the boy was mocking him, repeatedly. He still swears by this. I know…delusional belief still remains.

When you actually watch the events happen, for me at least, it’s like the air is sucked out of my chest. For a brief moment everything slows down…I’m screaming “nooooooo!” but no sound is coming out. My god…are you really trying to kill this kid? ???

When he tried to kill himself, I was with him and his older brother. It’s still very hard to talk about, but of course we have had to. My chest still gets tight. I can’t shake the physical memory of pulling him off the third floor balcony rail. How he fought me, and how very large, and very driven he was. He was so very hard to physically stop.

Their remorse is also so very heart wrenching at times.

Other times (for us) it’s still the: “HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!!!”

My brother with scz used to screech: “SHE’S LOOKING AT ME!”. It was a warning…as a sibling, I knew what that meant. He thinks I"m staring at him…and he’s not happy with that. Something more is going on, but I have no clue what it is. Be very, very careful…

@Author_Charity_Marie

Nope, no judgement at all here. We have been and done that and there’s a lot of shame we are working through.

I love your attitude.
Thank you for sharing!

[Mom2]

Yes, I often tell my son. “Yes, it’s good to have goals. I can’t do it for you but I will be glad to help.” Unfortunately, I’ve probably done too much for my son over the years.
I can’t say that I would do anything differently? He calls home and says “mom, sign me up for college in the spring, get me a car, get me an apartment”. This kid used to be so frugal and saved all his money. Now it’s as though he thinks I’m Daddy Warbucks. I’m sure this is off outing to the staff who are there who probably earn minimum wage.

[Squid]

@Author_Charity_Marie

A normal person would think I am nuts and some already do.

Okay…I admit it…

I’m laughing.

I “get it”.

[serenity]

Next time he is violent call the police, and tell them he is a threat to you and needs to go to psych ward of a hospital.

[Stepmom39]

That’s the only thing we can do. Our mental health system for adults in my area is broken, so police intervention during a psychotic break is our only option at this point.