Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Soccer crazy son


#1

I sometimes still can’t get my head around my sons condition (as we call it)
My son , 26 low motivation, although he talks of it, example he says he has to loose weight, he says he will have to start going to gym, he says mum can you wake me at 10am and tell me I said you had to wake me to get up… so,there is a SLOW shift , he’s a lot more settled too, still has outbursts and throws the blame card at times at us, mainly Dad .

He has started his interest in his soccer team again, and during the week he texted the bus organiser to see if there was a spare ticket for a big game to a football stadium he hasn’t visited before (he did all this before regularly before he became ill)

Anyway there was a seat so off he goes, it will take 6 hrs to get there, then the match of 90 mins… then roughly 6 hours back😲
It’s dedication I guess.
I did feel a bit sorry for him this morning, he asked me to help him button his jeans , he’s put on weight since last wore them and they are very tight, I suggested he wore his nicer sweat pants as if he couldn’t get button fastened now then I’m not going to be there to help him all day haha.

He was able to get himself up at 5,30am for this and is on his way now, Dad gave him lift to where the bus leaves from. He was appreciative my husband said, I love it when these two are close. Compared to what it’s been like.
The match is in London.

I just get confused to why he can do this, why he can text this man who organises the bus but won’t give his family his number and doesn’t want to talk to them his Gran, grandad , uncle who are all close and supportive to him,

I guess it’s because the motivation is there for something he loves to do and that’s how we should look at it.
He can get out of bed for this, but usually in a regular day it’s 1-3pm he doesn’t surface from his room. Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks for reading this rather long post lol.


#2

Jane57, that is wonderful news! And I think it’s just what you said, he wants to do it. He is motivated to do this. Yes, I’ve seen this also in my son and it has surprised me and at least one of his doctors. I think this spark can be fueled for their recovery. I would really see this as a great sign. Good for him but I imagine your stomach is in knots to send him off.


#3

Thanks so much mom , he is safely on the bus on way home , hubby just spoke to him. He enjoyed the match.
He won’t be home till midnight haha.

How’s your son doing mom?


#4

It’s really good he can do this.

When my family member was very ill, he could not take a bus across town to get to a place he really wanted to go.

I think it’s natural to use whatever motivation, concentration, and energy is available to do something I actually want to do and have just trained myself to do what I am supposed to do:)


#5

We are huge soccer fans ourselves, can you say who he follows? Husband is a big premier league fan


#6

Yes Hope he follows Sunderland AFC.
They were in premier league until last year :astonished: then they were relegated one division.


#7

That is wonderful to hear he enjoyed the match. Our son is home from hospital on Invega Injection. He told his doctor he wanted off injection so she started him on Clozaral while in hospital. He only took it once at home and said he only said that so he could come home. So that is the story of that. Right now he still has grandiose delusions and want us to give him money. A firm no is holding today but not sure how long. We are going to be firm with him on he can only live here if he accepts his shot. I’ll try the hospital message too. Well take it a day at a time. Today is quiet.

My dog passed and we are mourning her.


#8

We so wish we had relegation in US Major League Soccer. The teams are all guaranteed a return which really makes for mediocre performances. To make it worse, we have playoffs and an MLS championship game instead of the season games determining the winner. We end up with a bunch of boring games all season.


#9

I’m so sorry mom about your dog, how old was he /she? Sorry if it’s too painful to talk about it, I can only imagine how you feel, my little dog is so much a part of our lives.

I think with your son, holding out is tough but it’s the only way .
We actually tried having our son here unmedicated after release from first hospital stay and he wouldn’t take meds , got so bad we had to make him move out, now I have same rules as you, but it’s oh so difficult , especially when we feel weary. Hang in there mom2.


#10

Totally understand that, why don’t they have that in the USA, ? I know from visiting lots that soccer doesn’t seem the most popular sport , unlike here in the uk, it takes over here. Our tv is at sports channel by default it seems too :smirk:.
Hope Jeb is doing good. As good as can be.


#11

God bless our dog passed away 9th dec last year :heart:


#12

She was 14. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.


#13

Our family is way into it, Jeb was a beautiful player - there are pockets of soccer crazy folks all over our country but the professional versions are not as big as American football, baseball or basketball. The people who were hired to start up MLS are from American football background and really don’t understand the importance of relegation. They believe they are growing the league by guaranteeing new owners and communities that there isn’t relegation.

With no incentive to not get relegated, some of the teams are put together with rather inexpensive rosters.

When we travel to the UK husband is popular in the pubs for his knowledge of UK soccer.

My grandfather was from County Durham. Did Sunderland win the game your Nick attended?


#14

Sometimes I notice that any outing or activity where my son can have autonomy gives him confidence and motivation - and he’s usually really nice during these times. Having a break from parents can be liberating I’m sure when you are an adult man. I think its great that your son wants to play sports! Being outside and exercising has been huge over the last couple of years for my son. Something about fresh air and blood flow helps to clear some of those cobwebs…


#15

Wow really, County Durham :open_mouth: that’s our next county, as close by as about10 miles from us it starts.
Real small world Hope .
The game yesterday was a draw 1-1 so at least he didn’t go all that way to see his team lose.


#16

A good draw can be a great game eh? I hope it was a good draw.

Our Jeb attended Nottingham for a semester abroad and we visited the UK for the first time to see him. We traveled by train up to Edinburgh during the visit. We passed right by Durham and could see the cathedral.


#17

Mom, I’m so sorry to hear of your dog’s passing. Peace to you and your family.


#18

Wow really ? How amazing Hope.
I’m actually from Scotland myself, around 30 miles from Edinburgh but moved to North East England nr Durham in 1991 as hubby is from here.


#19

The journey North of Durham and Newcastle has fabulous views all the way up to Edinburgh by rail.
You are well travelled hope, what year would this be?


#20
  1. The views were fabulous, we fell in love with Scotland on that trip - even though its
    England we have been to the most. Jeb was in the early years of his scz. He traveled by himself after semester even though a group of his friends were there at various schools at the same time and kept begging him to join them.

Probably well traveled for Americans, just average compared to the rest of the world. My husband had discovered the travel books by Rick Steves when we went to visit Jeb - after that there was no stopping him. As long as he can travel inexpensively, he is happy.

Husband was so nervous about the expense of traveling that the entire trip was only one week. I was a little embarrassed because the hosts at the bed and breakfasts couldn’t understand anyone traveling abroad for only 7 days.

My passion is the USMNT. I would explain to our hosts that we had tickets to the first USA/Mexico rematch since the USA had eliminated Mexico in the round of 16 at the 2002 World Cup. Of course going back for an important match -that made perfect sense to the Brits. We did have the tickets.