I remember when I was working as an Instructional Aid for the severely handicapped…long before I met my husband and even had children…that the Doctor/Administrators/Teachers would remind each other (and us underlings) that the parents were in various stages of grief. We were to remember this when interacting with them. That each phase is important to move through, and that people jump back and forth through the various stages. Also, that the parents are seldom at the same place at the same time.
I saw this.
Now, I live it.
Husband really didn’t seem to grasp my concern about our son. Now…I’ve come to terms to a degree. I bounced back and forth through each emotional knee jerk…and sometimes actually recognize what I am feeling at the moment.
He is just now talking about these things, his awareness as the challenges for son. It saddens him deeply, almost to the point of finding it difficult to listen to.
I asked him if it was too much to talk about? Did he want me to not refer to the heavier aspects of this condition?
To my surprise he said no…he needed to know and appreciated the extra information.
He’s really quite clever, and can relate to so many of the things that our son is going through. (He has scz type dx, our son is Early Onset Childhood Scz).
What have other families/parents/caregivers experienced in relation to the stages of grief?
What methods worked as far as communication between parents? Doctors?
Are there periods of time where one parent has found themselves working solo?
What methods have you found success with in order to keep your marriage/relationship strong?
How do you keep the “fun” between you both?
How do you keep scz from being the main focus of your life?
And…what do you do when the other person isn’t able to “talk about” the heavy things?
Thank you in advance…