Have you tried the LEAP method of psychology with him?
We can generally get thru the L and E steps. It starts getting difficult at the A, because so often the ‘goals’ he brings up are really unattainable.
He worked with case management for a while, but it was kind of a fail. They want to work on concrete and obtainable goals. He doesn’t have those.
I can imagine that this is very challenging. Do you think it is worth continuing to work toward? I have never even had the opportunity yet to talk about goals with our son due to his extreme illness, but I know that multiple times when I have listened, re-stated what he had just told me (“Let me see if I got this right…You said that …”, and “It is important to me to know what YOU think”), he immediately softened…it was so evident in his expression and demeanor…and was amenable to other things over time that eventually resulted in his taking meds (in institutional settings, mind you), even if he continues to say from time to time “I don’t think I need to take them” or “I already took them”. This is such a hard journey, but I refuse to give up! Keep hope!
Re your post on LEAP and medication (in another thread):
My daughter talks to me maybe one sentence per day or two, five sentences is a miracle. I use LEAP, mostly by listening outside her door to what she tells her voices (spirits who live in the sky). Progress on other things than medication has been made with LEAP (like putting in a back door so she has her own entrance, and my giving her daily dinner made “with love” as she wouldn’t take food until I said it was “made with love”).
My daughter has seen a doctor voluntarily in her adult life only about 3 times for a severe obviously physical problem. She hates medicine. She had her teeth worked on without Novocain because of that hatred. Sometimes she likes vitamin supplements, but not for long or regularly. She was forced onto successful ap’s during the 4th hospitalization, but didn’t know she was relieved of schz symptoms and came off the pills, and when the shot wore off, she was back to square one with daily positive and negative schz symptoms which she cannot see she has.
I had to break down the LEAP method to really tiny things to make it work. But it does work to improve things, even with a loved one who barely talks to me.
Tiny is good! I, too, could not use LEAP when son was mute! In my situation, our family has goals for our son, and our biggest goal right now is just to keep him out of the hospital as long as he is safe and getting meds and then we pray for relief from the “formal thought disorder”. But from his confused viewpoint, we have to put our creative brains on and constantly be aware of the little things going on at the time. Ex: "Would you like to shave today? You look so handsome when you are shaved! "
Also, rewards can be goals. Unless I choose not to pay for it, at the home where our resides at this time our son gets a small “allowance” when he gets up within a certain timeframe and takes care of his hygiene, shows up for breakfast. He gets it after breakfast when he also takes his morning meds. (I wish I could say he was good about this, but this is the idea and it works for most of the residents. The staff is fairly flexible and encouraging with him because he is so ill. I think he has lost or thrown away most of the allowance he has been given. Or someone has taken it. I’m raising this as a concern with the home soon. But he was proud of having a few dollars in his wallet when he had it.)
@oldladyblue You are an amazing mom “with love”!!
Just another post, mostly for myself. Not in any sort of reference to anything else.
Today is another good day. I have much to be grateful for!
There is a hurricane coming toward the east coast, US. It should hit sometime Thursday and I have plans to visit my Dad, along with my girlfriend, my brother (whom has SzA), my sister, niece and nephew.
It will be a fun adventure from what I can tell.
My brother is packing and prepping his apartment, I expect that I will need to help him do some last-minute things when I pick him up. But I’m not concerned.
Thankfully, my brother is the type who becomes more reliable and rationally sound the more dire circumstances become. Packing up for a ‘vacation’ in the effort to evacuate should be a walk in the park for him. Even if it isn’t, I’ll be ready to help, as always.
My girlfriend is much more anxious, understandibly. She will be meeting my father for only the second time, and staying at his house for several days. I can ressure her that my family is loving and accepting all day, but the nerves will still be there about it. It gives me another opportunity to be a great boyfriend and a good brother.
I actually look forward to hurricane season for opportunities like these! Weird, right?
My brother will likely not get his prescriptions refilled before we have to leave. I’ve already told him not to be too concerned about it, as we can easily call in the scripts at a pharmacy near our Dad’s house. Still, I suspect that he might feel slightly defeated if he isn’t fully prepared at the time I come to pick him up.
I will simply remain positive, confident and reassuring. He will quickly see that his lack of preparation is no big deal in the face of teamwork and family bonds. It is one of the best qualities in myself that I can offer to the people closest to me, good intentions and solid teamwork.
I will make it a point not to be overbearing or coddling toward my brother. Being my younger brother, the instinct will always be there, but what he needs is independence and reassurance that he is welcome and valuable. I am certain that there will be many opportunities during this trip to demonstrate his strengths and his desireable qualities, just as there will be for me.
As far as my brother’s progress with his disorder,
He continues to build upon the tools he developed in group therapy. He is now only going to group 3 days a week, which seems to be unanimously agreed that he will soon move on to tackle new challenges.
He plans to attend vocational rehabilitation after we return to our home town and I am certain that he will use it to better himself and proceed toward gaining more independence and resillince, just as he has done with group.
I still am concerned about the possibility of him expercing delusions or overpowering hallucinations. I suspect that he deals with some symptoms at all times, despite his tough exterior. But, I will remain grateful for his progress for now.
I recommended that he seek an app to track his medication, but I don’t think he’s looked into it yet. I am fairly sure he still has trouble keeping track of doses and planning refills. But, as I have learned from past experience, pressing this issue too much just adds stress and doesn’t help. So, I will remain supportive and make the recommendation when he brings up the topic.
I am seeking new opportunities at my company. I have a very big leap planned for this year, and may have a lot of homework to do in order to prepare myself for applying and interviewing. I am sure that I will need to earn at least one more professional certification, and possibly attend a couple of college courses.
And all that is just to qualify to start learning how to do the work. If I earn a spot on the team, only then does the real hardcore studying start!
Big dreams, big challenges!
If I am at all a good older brother to look up to, or a good son, or a good boyfriend, it is not because of my past accomplishments. It is because of my tenacity and awareness that I deserve to give myself permission to honestly try my best and fail as many times as it takes. I hope that mentality is infectious!
How am I today? Pretty good, so far. I have just given my notice at one of my two jobs and will “semi-retire”. It was a difficult decision but the tipping point was the realization that I need to take care of myself and not continue to add stress to my life that I can’t control. I’ve worked all my life so it feels strange to leave a job and not have a plan for another to take its place.
Fall is coming and it finally rained, good for everything. My firewood is split and stacked and covered up. Apples and pears and plums are screaming for processing- applesauce and fruit butter and dried prunes coming up…
My son is doing very well in the hospital. He moved to a less restrictive floor and I can visit him on the unit. I got to see his room and how he keeps all his things (very neatly, unlike at home), meet his roommate and some of the staff caring for him. His recovery is a huge blessing for me.
So today is good. I count my blessings and am grateful for all of them.
This thread seems to be slowing down.
I’m going to inject some positivity. Hopefully it doesn’t annoy / aggrivate anyone (I do have struggles, just trying not to focus on all that too much for my own sake).
I’m continuing my job search.
I absolutely nailed an interview yesterday, which felt really good. I’m not sure they will like negotiating compensation, I’m always agressive with it. But this time, I have a really big change planned and I’ll need to really stand my ground to get it.
I take comfort bin knowing that I like my current situation just fine and I don’t have to accept anything, even if it’s just a little less than what I want.
That has a big impact in my view of myself and my sense of control over my future! Woo!
Here’s some babble about my DX’d family member:
Today my brother “graduated” from group therapy.
I met him at his apartment and we celebrated with fast food and videogames (his choice, out of all the options I suggested). We talked about what his takeaway from group was and what he wants to do next.
Something seems to have stuck with him, when one of the other patients said, “Looks like 2019 is going to be your year!” He seems to feel control over his future like he hasn’t in a long time.
The next phase includes one-on-one therapy, contined pdoc visits and meds along with vocational rehabilitation.
I’m really glad that’s where he’s at right now.
I can’t help but think this should have started sooner.
But it takes some real agony and frustration to break delusions and denial, I guess.
I anticipate plenty of struggle in the future. But things seem to be trending toward the better for him.
He doesn’t seem to have many positive symptoms recently. Lack of energy and motivation, mostly from meds.
I continue to encourage him to lead a healthy lifestyle, but he is hesitant to adopt that fully.
2019 is his year if he dives in and grabs it. It could also just be another year that SzA stole from him. We’ll see.
@wreklus, I really like this thread too, for non-DX related things. We all need to continue to live the best lives we can.
I have an event coming up this weekend that I’m excited about - the annual General Meeting of the Jane Austen Society of North America is in my town, and a good friend who is coming for it has offered me a pass to the weekend events. Ordinarily I would not have planned to attend, but I’m taking this opportunity. I will post pictures after the weekend - I went a little crazy making period clothing!
Just checking in with you. Having some beautiful fall weather in NorCal. Mornings are crisp, afternoons nice. I live in the Redwoods, it’s a small town inland, The coast is 30 miles west of us. Just to the north of us, the Avenue of the Giants, really worth seeing if you ever drive this way.
Life is good, hubby and I liked to golf and hang out at our local golf course, it’s a 40 acre par 3 golf course also in the redwoods.
My 2 girls are married one with a 4 year old. They have been such a joy as adults. It has been a very trying time for our family, but life continues. We still await word about our son Lou, he will probably be transferred back to the state hospital for further treatment.
@vallpen: your event sounds so exciting. How wonderful to be able to make period pieces. I have zero talent, and would be happy to make my elderly dog a blanket.
It is cooling down here, wish is nice. Still unable to fully appreciate fall, except through pictures. I continue with my classes and book clubs. Will attend some played beginning in October.
It was only 69 degrees here this morning - what a wonderful treat to have a small taste of fall for my morning run - it was wonderful!
@Vallpen- Pride and Prejudice is my favorite of all time book- I am excited about seeing pictures of your Jane Austen garb is it called garb or is that just at renaissance fairs?
My son is on his yearly hiking excursion trip. So far so good.
The featured book this year is Persuasion - I have been trying to get it finished between all my stitching!
How am I today? Walking on air! I am retiring today from my part time job as a nurse in a long term care facility. I have mixed feelings about leaving the many residents I am fond of, but am looking forward to only working part time at my other job. Two free days a week? Not feeling like I’m working all the time? Yay!
Good for you! What will you do with your extra free time!
Besides rest? I’m going to paint the inside of my house over the coming months and spend time with an elderly friend who is failing, and maybe volunteer with the senior center to give rides to medical appointments to seniors who don’t drive in the city. I am looking forward to not HAVING to get up and go every single day.
I can understand: I would love to have some extra time for rest and projects. I could take early retirement as soon as November, but so much depends on me and my full time and part time jobs that I don’t know if I could… Did you have a going away to retirement send-off?
I hope you can find some peace today.