Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Trying to have a life too

I am recently separated from my husband of 30 years. I moved out because I felt so alone in my marriage due to his drug/alcohol abuse for 20 + years. I moved into a small 2 bedroom house from my 4 bedroom home. Now I am on my own and have a boyfriend who I really adore. so far so good and I am happy finally after years of verbal abuse and years of doing it alone. I raised 5 kids, my youngest daughter is the one with sk. and my oldest son broke his neck 3 years ago at his wedding reception and s now a quadriplegic . I have lost 3 of my closest sisters and my best friends in the past 3 years (just before my son’s accident). I now have found some happiness and I feel good about my future. My daughter lives with me and I alone deal with her sk symptoms and doc appointments etc.
How do I live “my” life and take care of my baby girl?

So sorry to hear about your son.

Make sure your daughter learns all the coping mechanism she can and she’ll be able to be more independent. That would allow you to have more time to yourself and be less concerned all the time.

Best wishes for you.

Screams co-dependence, of course. This is not, however a “moral issue,” a “personal failure” or “something wrong” with us. It is the common cultural condition for about 80% of the people around.

Think we aren’t trained, conditioned, habituated, socialized and normalized to low-grade sadomasochism in this culture? Work where I have and see for yourself. (The sociologists have been all over this for decades.)

I ran some suggestions down before. You might want to consider them.

The most practical way would be to get your daughter stabilized on medication. They have long acting shots for people who have trouble complying with their med’s. I was on the Haldol shot myself for a number of years. Those were very gray years for me. You don’t have to put her on such a harsh med if she has a hard time tolerating it. There are other med’s that come in long acting shots. How people respond to different med’s can be unique, and there’s a small chance she might even like Haldol. You have my respect. I know how frustrating dealing with sz can be. When I was in the middle of a psychotic episode I often thought of things to say that would hurt my caretakers. I could be pretty inventive, too.

I understand why people might “think” co-dependence, just be slow to judge when you say that. I am sure that there are so many situation that can’t be explained in text.

I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her doctor about the shot form for her sk. I will at her next appointment. I think that would work so much better. Thank you for your post

:smiley: thank you

oh by the way, I have considered them. the problem is… I C… CAN NOT MAKE THE DECISION… S. HE HAS TO

I mentioned that it is possible that your daughter might like Haldol. There is a topic on this site titled “Who likes the typicals?” (Haldol is classified as a “typical” anti-psychotic. The word “typical” refers to an older, harsher type of AP, as opposed to the “atypicals”, newer, gentler drugs.) One of the posters on that topic says he likes Haldol a lot.

Hard to tell about about being codependent when its your children. I do know that ( my experience ) may be that way and working on trying not to fix everything for my son--especially when he doesnt want my help.
Finding a support group-like NAMI-in your area can be very helpful. It is very hard to do this alone, get as much support as you can for not only your daughter, but also for you.