Thank you so much for enlighten me with your personal experiences; we, his father and I, have my 48 yo son living with us; there’s so much that I can’t understand, I can only guess that what he does is due to stress and delusions; he has trouble communicating and at times he jus stomps his feet and yells things that I can’t repeat; he most likely yells in public places and he has been escorted out. For years he would take the meds and stop to repeat the cycle again; this last time he absolutely refuses to take them even when he sleeps very little, he’s always on guard and that lack of sleep and rest us enough to be on the edge.
At times he has been on ‘his own’ to avoid the meds just to deteriorate further and getting in trouble. I’m concerned about him but I can’t really force him to take the meds, I’ve tried persuasion with no luck yet, I have gotten supplements that some family caregivers say have helped their loved ones but this son of us doesn’t even consider those or any other supplement.
Thank you again for sharing your experience in this difficult journey.
God bless you abundantly for trusting in Him.
CherBear, my son does the same with the bedsheets, and cuts the blankets so he doesn’t have really too much to move or put after that. It must be just a way to feel control of which is different for me who happened to be a ‘controler’ according to him, and yes, I accept that; he thinks I wronged him because I have taken him to the hospital many times when it was necessary for him to be there and ‘everything is my fault!’ because they gave him psychotropics to mess his mind!
Anyhow, there’s plenty of similarities.
This has been a learning experience.
Take care of yourself also.
Sometimes this can be overwhelming.
Wow! What is the deal with bed sheets?? My son who is 36, lives with his dad, also will not use bed sheets. I used to stress about this, but don’t bother anymore. His bed is one of those foam mattresses and his just sits right on the floor with no sheets. The mattress looks terrible! I’ve learned to pick out what matters. I mean, so his mattress is disgusting and probably unsanitary, but there isn’t anything I can do about it. Besides, he has fu**ing schizophrenia, and that’s way more important than if he sleeps on clean sheets. It does still break my heart, though, seeing him so alone. Will he ever have a lover in his life, a significant other? Probably not.
My son is a heavy smoker, of course, and he has a very bizarre behavior that he does when he smokes. He takes a drag and then on the exhale, he pushes it out, forcefully out of his lungs and it makes a terrible sound that I can barely stand! His face turns red and his eyes big out as he forces the smoke out! He says this keeps cancer away! Very disturbing and heartbreaking.
He does other strange things relating to smoking. He puts it out on the table after one or two hits. Then he’ll relight, inhale, expel forcefully, put it out and so on until the cigarette is done. Then he lays it on the table and start over. He now has a bunch of butts smoked down evenly and placed in a row. I don’t dare clean this up. Also, he drinks the 2 liter of Cola straight from the bottle, warm. And leaves the cap off. I’m not allowed to recap it.
He has other strange behaviors but I don’t have the time or energy now. … I love my son so much. This illness has robbed him of a good life. I’m about to start crying. Again.
I’ve heard of the opposite problem: people with SZ who wrap themselves up in sheets like a cocoon, or bind their feet or other parts of the body tightly with clothing or fabric. Maybe it provides a sense of comfort and safety, or a feeling like a human hug when they can’t stand a real one. Whereas others want the opposite sensation of being free of anything that binds or constricts them. Very primal stuff, but it all stems from basic human needs and attempts to self-soothe and cope. It’s not “strange” to them.
One they they all need is love and acceptance, however you can give it. Even if it’s not reciprocated, It’s still making a difference.
My experience with bedsheets is different. When my loved one gets a blanket they like or rather fall in love with then they just wrap themselves with it like a burrito.
Blankets are VERY important. If I could underline and bold very it would still not do it justice. When my loved one is having a hard time you will not get that blanket away from them and I have given up trying. Buying a new one when things are going well is the best option and not an issue to replace at that time.
Piles of stuff here also just not valuable stuff. Nothing gets thrown out. Boxes, cartons, empty bottles of everything like that is always in drawers, shelves, wherever there is room. I routinely throw this stuff out but my loved one cannot see me doing this. If they do then I have to stop put it back and later on try again.
None of this bothers me much except one. The plastic bags from the store. Any store. If I am not paying attention to this I will find every cabinet in the house with them just stuffed full. They are tightly packed together all stuffed into a single bag with such efficiency it is impressive. I am just always so stunned by it when I look for some Windex to clean the car and all these bags start falling out then wait there’s more how in the heck they are everywhere.
I think their thought processes are very abstract so whatever the reason he does that when pointing probably makes sense to them and are unaware that these things are abnormal.
It hit me the other day that I feel like my son has the executive functioning of a 4 year old. Constant reminders to brush his teeth etc. That is when he’s not living on the streets.
Yes, executive function skills are seriously hampered with schizophrenia. My brother is intelligent, but getting him from A to C takes reminders and so often doesn’t get far. One thing I’m trying now to encourage that process and maybe grow those skills is linking tasks. For example, whenever we talk on the phone I say at the end: After you hang up, get your laundry going. I just keep hitting that linkage, every time we talk.
I believe it could work. He has his own things that he’s already linked together, which are less productive, like how on Thursdays, he mentally focuses on some odd spiritual message he wants people to absorb through his very presence.
So very interesting. Your loved one keeps everything and mine keeps nothing. He throws clothes and towels away. He throws eating utensils, cups and plates, etc. and other stuff. How fascinating this is. Still …it has to be hard, well, we know it’s a terrible disease to have, but I do find researching Sz to be so interesting. I gave my son a beautiful soft blanket this year for Christmas, pure coincidence. He loves it, he says.
Schizophrenia was originally named “dementia praecox” and defined as “a peculiar destruction of the inner cohesiveness of the … personality with predominant damage to the emotional life and the will.”
I see many parallels between those with SZ and those with age-related dementia, and what you describe is one example.
I don’t believe it’s the same as age-related dementia or schizophrenia, but some of the symptoms can be similar.
As bad as that may sound, I think most people with SZ (who had insight), if they could choose, would select age-related mild or moderate cognitive impairment over schizophrenia any day.
So many things but what comes to mind at the moment
writing on mirrors and furniture windows
calling out random numbers
staring out the bedroom window and yelling for long periods
hoarding so much stuff .
frequently messing with or taking apart any electronics in the home including cell phones
lots of hand gestures
showing his teeth a lot
Thank you for sharing this about the sleep ,
over the years I have noticed this with my loved one not able to settle himself down and sleep properly leading to a downward spiral so many times ,
along with the stress being a huge factor
your share was helpful to me
