Hi everyone. I’m having trouble figuring out how to interact with my unmedicated loved one who has lack of insight. I’ll call them E.
I have learned I’m not supposed to argue about their delusions or give reality checks, but lately a lot of their delusions have centered around concerns for my safety (and their own). To the point of banging on my door in the middle of the night, waking me up, yelling at me through the door to stop hurting myself, stop trying to kill myself. (I’m not suicidal and this stuff comes out of nowhere.) This is just the tip of the iceberg of their bizarre behaviors lately.
My own boundaries are extremely important to me due to my history with abusive people I successfully escaped from. But E keeps violating my boundaries (or attempting to violate them) in the name of their delusions.
I can’t live like this. I can’t sleep well, I’m not functioning well, I feel profoundly emotionally unsafe, on edge, my anxiety levels are through the roof, every sound I hear in the house triggers more anxiety and worry that E is going to come to my door spouting nonsense again or trying to bang my door down. E does the same thing to my sister who lives with us, even calling 911 recently in their belief my sister was being assaulted – even though she presented herself to E to show that she was fine. I even caught E trying to pick my sister’s lock to get in, believing she needed protection. I didn’t know how else to respond but to try to stop E and try to reassure E that we are all safe. But is that a form of unwelcome reality checking?
Even in the middle of typing this post just now I had to go break up a physical fight between them caused by another boundary violation. My sister and I are both stressed to the max and pushed to the edge so my sister ended up screaming and crying before I was able to get E out of her room. I told E in no uncertain terms (again) they cannot do this, they MUST respect other people’s boundaries.
But I don’t know what I’m doing and I feel like I’m probably handling everything hopelessly wrong. What can I do better? Is enforcing boundaries a bad idea? Is it a lost cause?