Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Why manipulation on who you're supposed to love?

I’m in that place again of omg I love this man, then to the point of I need to run away cos I cant stand it no more. I have cried so much since I left my marriage for him. Ok here’s a little background…

Years ago I fell in love with someone else and because I was married with children I ended it. I did promise him one day I will find him.
Well years later I did find him and I left my marriage (kids grown up). I came up to Scotland from London and left everything. The first few weeks were obviously amazing and then the cracks started. We was arguing over the slightest thing and I stood screaming you’re making me feel like I’m going crazy!
After this row he sat me down and explained too me he has paranoid schizophrenia and it can be quite difficult at times for him. My middle son also shows signs of this illness and I’ve tried to help him but he is 19 and knows better. My partner has had it since he was 15 from being knocked down in a hit and run. He had loads of help bk then bit refuses to get help now. We argue and he manipulates everything and is very good at it. I love him because I know who is behind this illness and it destroys me to see him be this way. I’ve been tempted to run for the hills and never look back but then I’m the one he confided in and has noone else. He is his mums carer but I seem to be doing everything, from washing cleaning and even bathing his mum. Lost I’m pure lost right now, but then when we make up I’m so much in love again. So totally confused right now and thanks for the vent. Needed a lot.
Donna

This is an up and down illness, until, unless, the affected person realizes he/she needs help and gets that help. If he understands his illness, and wants your relationship, he could seek current medical help and counseling, as he has one very big thing going for him: he knows he is paranoid sz. So many people affected can’t say that about themselves.

My life at home is ONLY calm now because my adult daughter has been successfully medicated for almost 14 months. The prior 3 years almost tore my family apart trying to manage the stress of the ups and downs in sanity and psychosis.

Only you can decide if you should stay or not, but it will be the rest of your life care-giving to him and his mother, most likely.

Thanks for your helpful advice oldladyblue. This is the right place to get the understanding I need. He is definitely worth a good fight for because when his sz is not bad he is amazing. It doesn’t take much to start it again. It’s a learning experience for us both. His is he has someone to talk too and I have him and here to learn from. Thanks again

He is lucky to have someone who loves him as you do. You can learn a lot from helping each other. I am glad you are fighting the good fight against his illness, it will be easier for him with your help. I hope you have many good amazing times.

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