Wishful Thinking


#1

Our 25 year old son finally went down to LA. He wants to be an actor. After the first couple of days, the car got towed (that can happen to anyone in LA, parking is tricky.) My husband bailed him out. Then 3 days later he got into an accident. It was a fender bender but insurance company said it was his fault. My husband had to go down and pick him up. Insurance said the car was totaled and gave us a check. We are trying to decide if we should buy another car for him to use. Of course we have to pay car insurance and maintenance.

He has been trying to clean his room and at first was very organized, but as days have gone by, it has become more chaotic. His moods tank every afternoon and by dinner time, everything we do irritates him, even the sound of our forks on the plate. He wants to move out and go visit his cousin and make films, but California rentals are so expensive. He is not realistic about how he will support himself. You really need a full time job to afford housing.

He had a job for 4 days but was hearing voices and hallucinating and became paranoid and then quit. When he asked for the job back a few days later, they said, “No.”.

He is seeing a therapist (reluctantly) once a week, but his insurance runs out next month on his 26th birthday. He won’t take meds, won’t see a doctor. ( I have not even suggested this lately because in the past he has gotten so angry when I bring it up, but he is clearly not functioning well.)
I don’t know whether I should again recommend that he go to the local mental health center for resources. It seems to backfire whenever I suggest things . I try to listen without giving advice. But he accuses me of being fake and inauthentic.

I hope there is someone out there who has had positive experiences with their adult child who declined help initially, but eventually was able to function on their own. He is quite smart, reads philosophy and even finished college 2 years ago, (though the stress of it I think was a condition of psychotic break.)

It is difficult having him at home when he is in a hyper-sensitive, irritable mood, though he can be delightful at times.

Does anybody have a success story of an adult child who finally moved out and was able to get a job and support themselves or is it just wishful thinking?


#2

I sure hope it isn’t wishful thinking! We are in the middle of preparations for our sz dtr age 43 to get married and immigrate to Canada. She has always lived at home and unable to work. She is compliant with her meds but she has many health issues from side effects. I’m praying that this story will have a good outcome.
It’s difficult when they are an adult and don’t want your advice. Hang in there. It’s a very difficult road we’re on but we are not alone.


#3

My son is 36 and he lives on his own. He has been diagnosed with scz but is unmedicated. He has constant psychosis and did work with a therapist learning CBT methods to help him cope in public.

Because he was diagnosed, he receives an income from ssi and ssdi. His healthcare is paid for by Medicare and Medicaid. He also receives SNAP - which is grocery assistance.

He can work a few hours a week - some weeks he can work 4 or so hours, some weeks he can’t work at all. He earns just enough as a driver to feed himself and keep himself going. Luckily with that sort of job, he has the ability to work only when he can actually function enough to work.

He is not able to support himself without the government assistance.