I hope everyone is doing well. My son (24) is a diagnosed SZ and lives with me. I am his primary caregiver. His mother (my ex-wife) has moved to FL and is out of the picture. We have applied for SSI as he is unable to work. He is currently covered under my health/dental insurance. I have made a ‘will’ and set up a trust for my son in the event I pass. It’s almost a certainty that he will live with me for the rest of my life. He doesn’t argue or physically fight with me over his treatment and we stopped having problems with him leaving the home after he stabilized on medicine. He does not drive. I worry about what could happen to him if a neighbor were to call the police. Police do not always deal with mentally ill people very well. (Occasionally, my son will go outside in his underwear.)
Should I apply for guardianship of my son? What are the pros/cons?
Hi, as a mom who has a sz son (now 39) who also lives with me and I am his sole caregiver, and he also cooperates with his care and medicine etc… I have had his full guardianship since he was 21 and I have never regretted it. It has always enabled me to be present at all of his psych and medical appointments and speak for him when he doesn’t speak up for himself. In addition, there are times what he feels is true for himself might not be the whole story, he tends to always say “he is fine” even if he has issues that need addressed so I can speak up about them. One of the most helpful aspects of the guardianship was that I was assigned as his rep payee for his disability checks which meant I controlled his finances. That was critical back in the day (before he got better) when he tried buying pot or alcohol or would literally hand his money over to anyone that asked. Now he has access to a credit card for emergencies and he has a sort of slush fund of his own in case something comes up he really wants, but after all of this time and with much greater stability he is as much of a spendthrift as I am, and he rarely dips into his money. He has been clean and sober for probably close to 15 years. I keep the guardianship in place just “in case” something should go wrong (you never know), and I need it to advocate for him. I honestly can’t say there is any downside in having it. It is empowering for full-time caregivers such as us.
Thank you for your post. I wish I had done this for my 27 to son when he was stabilized 6 years ago. He did great until a year ago and while still med compliant he is off the deep end now and threatening to pull his hippa release for me.
I’m sorry to hear about your son and hope he becomes stabilized again. That’s a very good point you make about this illness. I think the consensus is to obtain guardianship because you never know about this illness. Thank you all!
It’s not too late. Guardianships can be established at any time. Quite honestly the more “off the deep end” your son is the more likely you will be granted the guardianship. My son was way off when he had to stand before the probate judge with his court appointed attorney and his replies were so outlandish and so unaware of his own condition, the judge said, I’ve heard enough. I was granted it right then along with being his rep payee for his social security disability checks (essential to stop his drug seeking efforts at the time). It was that moment that he and I really launched on his path to the wellness he has today. Still, I never take it for granted. I wish you and your son all the best.
I am wondering if guardianship is different depending on which state you live. Our son is 29 and living with schizoaffective for the past 7 years. We live in Wisconsin and when we checked into getting guardianship it would be only available to those who are deemed cognitively or physically incompetent. What have you learned through this?
Forgive me for adding my 2 cents (I hope it helps) To my knowledge that is true, with my son, his illness made him cognitively incompetent. The judge asked him basic questions about working, paying bills, caring for his own needs and his health, etc…and his answers were very clearly lacking any insight showing a strong lack of cognitive ability. His answers were as if he lived in a different dimension or reality than all the rest of us.
Thanks, Catherine. I think our son functions at a higher cognitive level and we would not be granted guardianship. He is court ordered to his meds for right now. If he stays on his meds and off illegal drugs he can maintain. Always uncertain what the future brings.