“I’ll admit that I go through periods of reading and seeking and learning. Followed by periods of depression, hiding”
Same.
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I have seen in some cases that high caffeine and nicotine use can be an attempt to combat side effects of medications and/or symptoms- “self medicating” in a sense. It may be worth talking to your son’s doctor about this as these substances can also exacerbate symptoms.
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Welcome TieDye! We look forward to walking alongside you on this challenging journey.
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My son doesn’t talk to me either. I see a lot do tell their caregivers about voices etc, . My son never has and denies to everyone that he has none.?but I hear him talking and laughing with “ someone “. Wish he would talk to me. He has destroyed so many things, including an entire mobile home. Now that he’s taking meds he doesn’t destroy. When I called police and crisis center in past, I’d tell them I was scared for my life. Tends to get their attention quicker. It’s a hard life for them and us.
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My son is 27 and was diagnosed at age 30 although looking back I can see it coming around puberty. My son wont admit to hallucinations even though he can be seen and heard arguing with someone. Ironically he will only tell me what he sees when he’s off his meds and has no filter. My son started off very cooperative with taking his meds, going to group counseling and support groups, but stopped after 3 years. Then it was a couple years of a nightmare roller coaster and now we are just getting things smoothed back out and he has a part time job. In addition to the non stop smoking and energy drinks and coffee, be on the lookout for weed. Although I dont have a personal negative outlook about weed, it completely interferes with my son’s medicine and he goes completely nuts when he smokes. I guess Im saying be prepared for the ups and downs, keep yourself safe physically and keep your mental health in mind because it takes a huge toll on you. Sadly the place my son goes to for meds is not very supportive to the family. Im in FL amd we dont have good mental health support here. When my son is good he’s good but when he’s off its bad. He has false memories about his childhood, he keeps telling me I left him places I didnt so he resents me for things I didnt do. He gets violent but inexplicably can fake being “normal” in front of doctors and police. Ive seen him be completely out of his mind and then calmly say no sir, yes sir to the police. I had to resort to video recording him in order to be believed. One piece of advice I can give is that if any threat is made, call the police or whoever takes ppl to the hospital where you are. Dont ignore them bc you never know whats really in their minds. You will have to advocate for your child even when they hate you for it and the doctors resent you for speaking up. Keep your boundaries and dont let your boundaries be infringed on. Let your child know you love them and are here for them but that certain things are unacceptable. Over time you may notice a pattern developing of the ebbs and flows. Every month my son says he’s growing out his hair then he gets a haircut. Every 2 or 3 months he says he’s going back to college. I just say ok now because Ive realized his brain has short loops that repeat and other loops happen over months. There’s also a daily loop or cycle. You’ll figure it out and know what to expect and how to respond. Storms were also tough bc my son loved to go out in tropical storms and hurricanes😬 I would go find him and bring him back and he’d immediately go back out. Id have to tell him a point is going to come where not even the police will get him and that would make him stay inside. You all will find your new normal. Just be mindful to care for yourself and make them be as independent as they can be.
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Interesting comment regarding his ability to switch it off periodically in front of ‘authority’ figures. We experienced the same with my son.
At first I thought this indicated that he did actually have control since he could so quickly play the normal child. But after many years, all the other behaviors were so entrenched I finally came to the conclusion that he harbors a deep fear of ‘authority’ as part of his delusions. And therefore can and will at times put on a false front to avoid detection from cops, or doctors in treatment facilities.
Interested to hear if others find this behavioral nuance. Seems like SZ would present the same regardless of the audience but perhaps some patients have the ability to moderate their symptoms when it suits them.
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Yes its fear related, but also, my son is 27, and he has told me he is very good at faking normal which makes me think he may have psychopathy going on as well…idk. He is very attached to earbuds because he uses music to drown out the voices and also he can make others think he’s listening to rap music when he’s talking to the voices. He once broke his earbuds so I ordered him a pair from amazon that would not arrive until the next morning. He literally went from speaking non stop to the voices and pacing, to laying completely still on the sofa, not eating or drinking, until the earbuds arrived. As soon as the package came, he immediately got up, and went back to pacing and talking to the voices. It was the most amazing thing I have witnessed. I couldn’t believe how he was able to turn it off for at least 12 hours and then back on the next morning. The brain is fascinating.
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You can go to local court , and file for guardianship and conservatorship. I tried but my narc ex fought me. I did get SSI, get funds for son, and got on as the representative. At minimum he could get low income or free housing. But if he can live with you, even in back yard in trailor, its better if you can help him, and can get help from state funds even to have a care taker, or get paid yourself to be the caretaker, it helps.
Then you can talk to doctors, and manage funds.
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When my daughter was in live in treatment, they told me they did not serve coffee with caffeine, but didn’t tell any of the patients. Quitting smoking was also encouraged.
Holy crabapple. Without nicotine and caffeine my son would derail. Even at the Mormon-led treatment facility he was at in Utah (Mormon beliefs strictly forbid caffeine and nicotine), they allowed it. Told me it was critical to their patients.
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In the book “Hidden Valley Road” they did a light history on the development of meds. According to the book, one of the meds that had been worked on was caffeine based. Supposedly the issue was that they couldn’t get it into a long enough acting form.
My son has his best days when he is drinking caffeine. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long as he will stop drinking caffeine and tells me that it’s bad for him and causes his sleep issues.
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My daughter when she is on a at home visit is always asking for energy drinks. They don’t allow caffeine at her (home) we call it a dorm. She says when she gets out she will eventually be having it. So we limit it to one energy drink in the morning.
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My son also lives on energy drinks and caffeine. I can’t imagine trying to take that away. I think its the only thing he enjoys. It is so hard to live with him. I am tired! Am I wrong to want my own life? I am scared of my son and I don’t want him living with us anymore. This disease is horrible. He just got home from yet another treatment center and they changed all of his meds again. He takes 14 pills in the morning! a small handful mid day and a huge handful of pills at night! Not only are they expensive, he will never be able to organize this mess by himself to take them properly. I am flat out worn out, between my sons issues and my husbands frustration-which he takes out on me! I just want to cry!
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My schizophrenic son calls it ‘channeling’ when he speaks in different voices. He’s channeling the different people that live within him or, better put, beside him. He constantly has a conversation going with an invisible friend wherever he is. Hang in there, it sounds like your son has a team working with him. You might check out a board and care for him if you are getting burnt out on caretaking. My son has been ill for 17 years and it’s been quite a ride. Message me if you need an ear.
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I agree, with the authority thing…my son does this too…its like he can be devil posseased and act like a mean person to me…then switch if police showed up…he blames me for ruining his life…hosp. 9 times as he wouldnt take meds when younger , ans really had no plans or goals…but now says he was going to go to college , and even since 22 thinks he cant now as he is too old. It is sad, he wont do anything but video games and gambling…
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I do that, too, where I’ll read and research obsessively, which often leads me to hopelessness, which leads to extreme sadness, and then I hide out, also some self medicating. I can never get the picture of my son as a cute little boy, with his sweet voice out of my head and I still cry … often.
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Tippy,
Sometime a good cry isn’t so bad, I think it helps clean the spirit a little. I know its hard to give in to a good cry but its all part of the journey. The bad and the good. You just need some you time and get away from your husband and your son. Love and hugs to you, Your a good mother and wife for putting up with the both of them, your very very underappreciated.
Thank you for saying this!
I feel the same. Today i excercized vigorously.pounding on bed , it felt good and asked jesus to.take.over this house and get rid of evil.spirits…all.i van do is continue that…get rid of.all lies…
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I can relate to the clone thing. I’ve got paranoid schizophrenia and so does my mummy. Non of us have had that thing. But my father had that thing while he was alive with Lewis Body dementia. He thought that I had gone Sailing on a Big oil tanker years ago and that I simply was a clone of his real son. You know the genises song no son of mine.
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