@wreklus she unblocked me
Don’t be hard on yourself even though this is honestly the hardest thing any family/friend has to face. Don’t take what she says to heart because you know the real her wouldn’t be like that towards you
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Give it some time for the difficult thoughts and emotions to quiet down.
Distract yourself by focusing your thoughts on other things. Things you can do that don’t effect her. Things that don’t make it hard to stay focused on your own goals.
The blunt truth here is that your interactions with her sound chaotic, guessing from the way you describe it.
The last thing she needs is chaos, confusion or stress.
Will it get better? I am actually crying
Maybe it will get better, maybe it will get worse.
Everyone on this site has spent a lot of time crying for the ones they care about who are ill. Literally, crying real tears. Fairly often probably.
I am so sorry you are going through this right now.
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Mum 
I understand …sorry for the spam