Help me please!?


#1

I want Help? How can I copy? My best friend is possible shizophrenic (not officially diagnosed ) but her symptoms are similar. She is going to doctors right now…The problem is that she sometimes tells me she feels like she is in a dream and she want to wake up one day. Such words scare the hell out of me. I am trying to be positive and supportive but sometimes I fell like the friendship don’t help much…We are really close and she is amazing person. She is 29 if that matters. How can I talk with her to make her happier? Mostly of the time she seems really ok but when she has episodes it is …:sob:


#2

Hello,
It sounds like from your post that you have been friends for sometime. You can call or talk to a mental health professional (NAMI) and get some advice on what is best for your friend.
The NAMI group would be a good place to start, that way you can discuss the situation a little more indepth.
In our town at the hospital, there is usually someone staffed. I’m just a parent here and wouldn’t want to give you any advice that may harm your friend. Always be careful about what you say. Take care AnnieNorCal


#3

You sound like a very good friend. It can be hard to be a friend when they are talking or behaving in illogical ways. If your friend is going to “doctors” that should be a good sign, presuming you mean a psychologist/counselor and/or psychiatrist. Accept her for who she is. You can acknowledge her thoughts (such as “That must be terribly hard for you”) without agreeing with them. You listen and empathize. The NAMI Family-to-Family class is excellent and would help you better understand the illness and how to help yourself in the situation, as well. It is not limited to family members. I have found the NAMI family support groups (again, not limited to family) to be very helpful, also. It is possible that your relationship may change over time, but you can still find ways to remain a friend, I hope. There is reason for hope, depending on the illness itself and how the person responds, and the help she gets.


#4

Like the others mentioned, NAMI is a great start. This link will help you find one near you: https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI

The pdocs should get her going in the right direction, but waiting for an official diagnosis is the first step. If it is schizophrenia, then just having a friend she can talk to without judgement will be of great help to her. Support from friends and family can greatly increase positive outcomes.

You’re a very good friend. Hanging there…


#5

Thanks for the help and the kind words…I didn’t know it is possible that one day she wouldn’t want to be my friend


#6

Thank you very much! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:


#7

Oh, I did not at all mean to imply that she would not want to be your friend! I’m just saying that this illness can affect a person’s behavior and social abilities. For example, our son disappeared and did not text us or call us for 3 months. But when he turned up and has been through so much, he still loves us and we certainly love him! He has not texted or talked to any of his friends (except one for a 5 minute Facetime) in well over a year. He still has friends who care about him who stay in touch with me, but because of his illness, there has been very little communication. I know someone whose brother told his parents that they were not his parents. I know someone else with SZ who says he has no family when he actually has a family that loves him very much. Your situation will be different from that, because everyone is different. This is why it is good to learn about the illness so you can know better how to help the person as well as to take care of yourself. Remain optimistic, because there are many much more positive outcomes. Some people with SZ CAN live reasonably good lives.


#8

Ohh I understand you now…Well it seems like that won’t be the case…She says that friends are important part of her life and she doesn’t want to be alone. She also promised she will be my friend always but we shall see…Anyways thank you for reply and your kind words :heart:


#9

Her symptoms do sound very scary. Try to be compasionate, but don’t let the instinct to become panicked overpower you.
Listen to her concerns and try to reassure her that seeing a doctor and possibly also a therapist will help her feel more safe and more comfortable.
She is probably experincing confusing thoughts. Try to be the calm, safe, caring person she needs.


#10

Thanks yeah she is going to group therapy too


#11

You are doing the best thing you can do for your friend by continuing to be her friend. If she is ill, and she trusts you, you will be able to help her, simply because she trusts you. Try not to violate that trust. In a way, she is lucky, in that she is willing to see doctors and go to therapy, as sometimes mental illness takes away a person’s trust in anyone, including doctors. So be her friend, be kind, loving, and try to react calmly even to shocking things she might say or do while helping her find the right doctors and medication. She may never be the same as she was again, but she will develop a “new normal” with management of her illness, whatever it is. And she will have a friend.

My daughter has isolated herself from everyone, including her old friends and most of her current family since her illness began. I hope that friendship with you will keep your friend connected to the world (even if she sees the world differently now).

Good luck, keep trying to help, and be kind to yourself if you aren’t as successful as you want to be. You are a good person, and so is your friend. Hugs.


#12

She actually is doing the same to me…She is isolating herself saying she isn’t ok and want to drop contact. I feel terrible. Not to mention I have sort of crush on her.


#13

She is doing this only with me. Her sister has the same illness and blocked me out of nowhere telling me I will be better off…I don’t know just I don’t know


#14

I don’t have any optimism tbh.This was so unexpected and out of nowhere. She was ok sort of but when the doctor stuff started and they said her she can have shizophrenia she is very depressed and did this


#15

@oldladyblue I just told her I am gonna kill myself If she don’t talk to me…wtf I feel terrible


#16

I took decision to not mess with her anymore.It will be very hard but I won’t. I can’t get more tension and we’ll I don’t deserve to be treated like rubbish…sorry for the spam


#17

I understand your feelings, the start of this illness is rough on everyone. You probably will go through many emotions that aren’t good, if you have a friend or loved one with schz. It is, for most people, a lifelong illness, that radically changes the life and character of the person who has the illness for the worse. It also changes drastically for the worse the life of anyone who finds themselves in a caregiver role for the ill person, at least until meds can stabilize the illness. The horrible thing is that meds might not handle the illness, it is sort of trial and error if they will work or not on each individual. Honestly, it may be best to leave your friend to work with her family to try and sort herself out. There is so, so much heartache coming for her and her family if she does have schizophrenia.

I am sorry to be sort of negative here, but truthfully, I feel there is much for you to learn and decide, if your friend has this awful, serious, lifelong illness.

Take care of yourself, it is good that you care so much for her, but you must care for yourself as number one.


#18

She is doing this only with me is what hurts me the most I guess…Idk if she will even talk with me again


#19

It’s okay that you broke off contact.
You don’t need that kind of chaos.
She doesn’t need that kind of chaos.

Her family, her doctors and her therapist are the ones that need to be there for her. You need to take care of yourself.


#20

@wreklus it isn’t ok with me …My heart pains me