It has been since 2005 I have been on here. My son Adam was diagnosed in 2004 with paranoid schizophrenia and this web site was very supportive and a life saver for me with lots of advice. Sorry this will be long but it’s been long time I’ve been on and now I need help!!
My son was also diagnosed with dual diagnosis along with his schizophrenia in 2004.
He stopped taking his meds which was abilify and geodon and cogentin, lexapro and Wellbutrin back in summer of 2011 and has refused since that time to ever take them!
He is addicted to Meth, which he was doing before he initially was diagnosed in 2004.
He has been in Visalia for last 3 years near my ex’s mother house, (Adams grand mother ) due to we got separated due to I was out of work and no money and I had to go live with family, so he wanted to live with his grandmother at that time. I would go visit him time to time. Then I made a trip to see him once, and found him in a pretty much abandoned home where he was paying rent to live at, and everyone had moved out basically, and found out he had been in jail for drug possession for meth in Feb 2014, and he never called his grandma or me. He spent a week in jail.
Things changed rather quickly which was a miracle how it came about because he was ordered to go to drug court in Visalia and never went and had a warrant and was picked up for acting wierd one day, and put in jail on his warrant and was there about 3-4 days and judge ordered him a second time around, to go to drug court and he got out of jail and then his grandma who lived in Visalia took him down one day to courthouse and asked judge if he could live near me and judge ok’d it and over night I found myself finding him a place to live and trying to get him assigned or signed up in my town for drug court and a place for him to live and a doctor appt. etc.
He has been psychotic since I first saw him in April 2014. When all this unraveled! He gnashes or grinds his teeth, his teeth are so messed up looked decayed but he refuses to see a dentist, his facial expressions literally change so drastically as he laughs and it almost seems he has a look of pain and it’s like u can see his skeletal bones due to the intensity of what is happening.
He always use to be low key and patient and just nice and sweet to me but he was on his meds at that time, and now he gets loud and abusive verbally and disrespectful towards me if he doesn’t get what he wants or if he wants me to go away he will yell and be disrespectful and his tone of voice literally changed, like he is a different person.
He flocks to the homeless and brings them back to his duplex where he and a roommate live. He still does drugs. I only give him 5.00 a day and pack of cigarettes. He loves energy drinks and when I got him moved here I took him to be evaluated and I will always be thankful that the lady on duty that night admitted him as being gravely disabled and he was so upset! He was mad!
He was there 3 days and realized they wanted him to take his meds so he did after 2 days and was on Haldol 5mg 3 x a day and cogentin and he really sprung back it seemed quickly , but as soon as they let him go home he has refused to take meds or go to a doctor or anything. When I try and I say try, because he is psychotic and yet aware in a lot of ways surprisingly, to try and talk to him and get him to take his meds or go to dentist or see doctor he says No and walks away from me and doesn’t like to really talk more than a moment with me.
He is dealing with so much that he just isn’t the son I knew. When we were on the way to get him a haircut recently he changed his mind in my car and said I was driving slow like a murderer does , and he got mad and angry and upset and yelled and wanted to go home and he hit my car on the inside and then he wanted his 5.00 and we got into it. He had to go to his drug class that night and told me if I didn’t give his money not to come back because he wasn’t going to go and I drove off and didn’t give him money, and I drove around and cooled off and found him sitting on ground by liqour store.
He was looking for cigarette butts and I walked up to him calmly and we talked and I gave him pack of smokes and took him to drug class. We made it through that one day and night. But it tears me apart! I feel like he had tied my hands back and I can’t help him. He is 30 yrs old now.
I know and really believe the main problem is his drug addiction right now and trying to break through that and go to next step with his illness is impossible it seems!!
When I talk about meds and doctor appts and try to get him to comply he says Therapy? Therapy? As if it is a question to me? He says he wants or is open to therapy, but I’m so discouraged because he has changed his mind a lot on things, and won’t take meds or see doctor and just sleeps and walks a lot.
He also charged 200.00 worth of porno on cable in sept/oct but that was also fault of landlord who had no pin or lock on those or any channels that are not included with cable plan, so we had to get that all straightened out!
He use to write rap music and poems and had sense of humor back in 2010 but now he just walks, wants meth and smokes and it’s just so sad. I’ve never seen him get so angry and so often as I’ve seen him in the past year, to the point I am worried what he would do to me when he turns into a different angry person with tone change like he isn’t even my son!
He gets loud and his voice changes and even his accent changes at times when he gets mad. He talks to voices outloud and will say no! No! Like a command! Then he will raise his hand saying Jesus! He will talk to females and say hi sweetheart how are you, that are older Lego are just walking down the street, and he does it like he has known them for years! He doesn’t know them at all!
He picks up smokes, from ground, bushes, anywhere and food and drinks and he puts vegetable oil all over his baked chicken and puts loads of salt , just bizarre! on his. Cakes butter on his pizza.
When he was put on 51/50 this past July, the doctor diagnosed him with disorganized schizophrenia. He throws his clothes everywhere and wears dirty clothes and sometimes even makes wierd sounds like an animal like he is choking or coughing up a fur ball.
He really needs help and no one cares and says he has rights , that’s all I hear, and as long as he is eating even if eating out of garbage can I was told the day they released him from hospital by social worker at the hospital, that even if getting food in garbage, then he is caring for himself and it is hard to get conservatetship.
I feel like I’m just trying to keep him a float but then what? When I talk about programs to get him in for rehab he won’t agree to go and so basically doesn’t want to talk or get help of any kind. What would u do? What should I do? I have done so so much , just since April to help him. Not to mention the last ten years!
You wouldn’t believe how much I have fought Trying to get him help etc. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Im tired and trying to find work and I literally have to tell myself no matter what happens it is going to be ok and just breathe and take one day at a time and realizing I have to let go unless he wants and asks for my help but the hardest part for me is watching him and see his teeth deteriorate and see him messed up and doesn’t keep his hygiene up as he should and walks out all hours of night in unsafe town.
So with all this I have to still check myself and let go and not feel bad like its my fault he doesn’t get or want or take care of his teeth or safety and health. Lastly, he has a 34 yr brother and 29 yr sister who never go to see him and never ask about him who live within 10.20 minutes from him, they both have a child, but they don’t ask or offer to help me or ask about him or go see him. Besides God, I’m alone physically to deal with this. They are not interested in even really hearing about him.
