My advice is run away. I have a schizophrenic brother, I have huge anger issues. Accept that there is only one life and that you too deserve to live. Because of my brother, I myself ended up in the hospital and on sedatives. You were not born to suffer for others. Anyone who doesn’t want help just runs away. I apologize for the answer. I speak from experience
I completely understand. My Wife’s words would hurt me so deeply that I would get angry. I could manage as long as she was not being relentless but that became the norm. I felt unappreciated and betrayed. One day, when I felt that she might be suicidal, I lost control. I did not strike or hurt her but I did get physical. I was afraid to leave in case she tried to harm herself but I knew I was loosing control. I tried to walk away and even went outside but she followed me. I felt absolutely awful. I knew I needed to set boundaries after that. We also lived in a studio apartment/In-Law suit on her parents property so I had nowhere to retreat. I decided and discussed with her that if I felt myself loosing control I would leave until we had both calmed down. There were times that I would be gone for 3 days. Thankfully I had a few friends I could retreat to. Had I only had one I know they would have grown weary of me.
My Mom and I began to use the LEAP method found in Dr. Amador’s book “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help” with good results. I also found it crucial that that everyone only speak with true intentions and act with integrity with her. I was able to get her sister to support me. She was so helpful. However, I was unable to gain her parents support. They were counterproductive in the way they spoke critically about me because of their lack of insight. Her family is extremely important and influential to her. When her sister died it became more than I could handle. I neglected my own well being to the breaking point and we lost everything and separated.
First take care of yourself. It’s a tough decision moving forward with her or not. Educate yourself and see what resources are available for her in your area. Most likely, at some point, she will find herself getting treatment one way or another so it’s helpful to have a plan. The book I mentioned and NAMI Family Support Group are great resources for you.
I would get as many of her loved ones support as you can and make sure they are educated as well. Set boundaries and stick to them.
I believe that if I had her parents support I could have managed but who knows. It would still have been tough.
Remember that you have to tend to your own well being so schedule time for yourself. I would forget about myself if I didn’t schedule that time for me to consider what I needed.
Best wishes.