Currently my MI friend is in jail, going on 3 weeks now. She won’t come out to a scheduled visit. I can send her letters. I just don’t know what to write. I don’t want to do anything to make her be more alienated. I do want to let her know that her friends and family are all thinking of her, are worried about her situation, and love her. That we are coming to court every day she is on the docket for arraignment. She has yet to be well enough to come to court. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to say and how to word it so as to not trigger her?
This is what I have come up with but it feels so strained and odd;
Dear R,
I wish I could see you in person. We are so worried for you. We come to the court hoping to get news about how you are doing but it is hard to tell what is happening from the outside. I hope that one day you will see me during a scheduled visit. Until then I want you to know we love you, and are hoping that you are coping with your situation.
with much love,
S
I think it sounds fine. It lets her know that you care about her, which is the main thing. Could you ask to speak to a psychiatrist who has seen her to find out how she is doing? I don’t know how that works in jails, but there must be someone who is evaluating her and making a determination about her mental health.
That sounds good. From one who had a cult brainwashed sister… the deprogrammer told us to use love affirming words like…concerned…worried… as they show love without saying love
Have you talked to her case worker? She may be able to give some information or you can tell her to communicate to your freind that you are trying to reach out.
Unfortunately the HIPPA laws make everyone very reluctant to reveal anything about her condition. We have heard from bailiffs/sheriffs when they have tried to get her to come to court that she wanders her room muttering or lays on her bed repeating ‘no’. The Attys say she won’t speak to them. On Wednesday there is supposed to be a court ordered psychiatric evaluation, a 730 maybe? But I don’t know what if anything we will get from that. We are praying that there will be a diagnosis. That would make moving forward on the conservatorship possible. Thank you all for the feedback, I am going to go ahead and write the card and send it ; )