Husband having fake phone calls and job interviews, but it is the only thing he is excited about

Hi and welcome to the forums,

Basically what you’re saying is that your husband is having delusions that revolve around him having a job via telephone, talking with friends (on the phone) and interviews.

These are not “fake” in the typical sense of the word - your husband actually believes these are true, so psychologists and psychiatrists would say that these are delusions.

It sounds like your husband has had a very stressful time during the past few years - between the loss of his father and seizures, and drinking (which is commonly a self-medication strategy against anxiety or depression). stress is a common trigger for mental illness, so please try to understand that and understand that to the degree you can help lower his stress, it will be a positive thing and likely improve the outcome for him.

At some level these delusions frequently revolve around real desires or issues - your husband would like to have a job, be talking to friends, and having interviews. Having said that - its important to get your husband some help as quickly as possible - the sooner he is helped, the better his recovery.

Given that your husband sounds like he is older (over 40?) its unlikely he has full schizophrenia - but rather some type of psychosis that can be greatly improved if not eliminated with psychological treatments and medication that can help him lower his stress and (if he has it, depression, etc.).

How is he sleeping? A psychiatrist might be able to prescribe an antidepressant if he’s not sleeping well, and that could really improve his life and reduce his stress, in which case the delusions might go away.

So - I would use his obvious desire to get a job and have more friends (in essence, to feel more valued as a person - which we all need) - to use as a focal point to get him more help.

For example, perhaps you could get him to see a psychologist who specializes in psychotic disorders, or go to an early psychosis evaluation clinic - with the goal that you communicate to him of helping him improve his interview skills and get paid more for his work (if he can’t show you any pay deposits into his bank accounts, maybe he’ll agree that the companies he’s “working for” need to pay him better) - or to help him improve his interview skills, etc.

The goal here is to help him get help in an area where he wants help - and use that as a unthreatening way to get him help and improve his situation in a way he can recognize the value.

Don’t challenge his delusions - thats not helpful (as most of us here can tell you - it just creates friction and problems in your relationship with him. That is the nature of delusions - the fixed belief in something that has no evidence behind it.

But - you can sympathize and empathize with the feelings your husband is having - it must feel very good to talk with friends, get interviews, get a job, etc… you can validate his feelings, without validating the delusions.

Here are some additional tips - review this page about “First Aid for Psychosis” - and while your husband is not a “danger” - many of the coping techniques are the same:

http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/005561.html

Call a local early psychosis evaluation / treatment center - and discuss with them your situation and see if you can get their support:

Let us know how it goes.

Lastly - Read the older topics and messages posted here in this forum and you’ll see a lot of people / families in the same or similar situations. You’ll see many of the recommendations from other people may be of help with your situation.