My baby brother gets out of hospital tomorrow with a shiny new Bipolar 1 label.
I’m not going to take on caregiving of my brother. He’ll be living with our parents. But I have asked to join my brother’s preservation team.
NOW… I’m trying to find a way to let him know that… yes! I am still very angry about this past year… but on the same hand… Yes the door is still open.
I tried writing the letter. I started in red ink to talk about the stuff that made me angry and went to blue ink as I cooled down. But then I’d remember something and have to pick up the red pen again. There is more red ink then blue ink on the page… I’ll try the letter again a little later.
The thing that is odd to me is seeing how my family is preparing to walk on egg shells. The tension at the parent’s house is thick.
It’s like they are trying to “temper tantrum proof” the house. I told my sis how outrageous this was that Mom and Dad are changing plans, and muting the house and changing the routine for this.
She said they did the exact same thing for me every time I got out. She told me about… family meetings going over relapse plans, activity plans, knowing and remembering when to engage in activity and when to back off. Sad to say, I had no idea all this was going on behind the scenes. If I had known it then… my paranoia would have hit the roof.
Now, I guess it makes sense. I was back, I was stabilized, but not that stable, I was still shaky, confused and freaked out a bit. I guess that would change the vibe of the house.
I know caregivers here a happy when their family gets to come home… but if you don’t mind me asking… is it always that nerve wracking? Is there that much stress to your loved one coming home, or is it relief or is it both?
Thank you for allowing this peek over the fence to the care giver side.
P.s. if anyone knows how to get mascara stains out of a basic white button down shirt, that would be really helpful too. Exam panic has reared it’s ugly head again, my sister cried on me and I can’t get more shirts until next week when the extra long’s come in.