I was really hesitant to post this because it seems so trivial compared to the real problems that others are dealing with. But I’m out of ideas and I just need some new input. Please forgive if this post comes off as too teen aged whiney.
There were times when getting my brother to take his meds was easier then dealing with the leaky dishwasher, and the stuck door and the not so reliable water heater, the laundry and the cooking and the bills. Our parents would come over and help me with stuff, but I had an opportunity to figure out a lot of stuff on my own.
This past year alone; my brother has worked so hard and made a huge improvement in his health. As we both realize, it’s not over yet. However, there are days when packing a lunch for my brother, helping with dinner, and slightly nudging him to stay on track is so much easier then dealing with the broken heater, the drippy shower head, and the rest of the day to day list.
I’m also trying to keep the drama low and buffer my brother from some of what is going on. But that is turning out to be harder then it once was. We have talked about this. We both have vastly different ways of dealing with family drama. The thing is, some of it has to be dealt with.
So the day piles up, and I get a bit stressed like everyone does and I get distracted. Then my brother wants to know what’s wrong. I wish I could vent about this stuff that is getting me down, but I don’t want to lay it on his shoulders. Keeping the stress and drama factor as low a possible is what has helped my brother heal. My frustrating days have nothing to do with my older brother. I hate it when he thinks I’m upset with him, and I’m not at all. I’m upset with my oil leaking car.
I try to down play a lot of stuff, but he’s become a very observant man these past two years and pervious vagueness doesn’t work anymore. (I’m not posting anything we haven’t already discussed.)
I have to find a way to answer my brother’s questions in such a way that it doesn’t trigger his anxiety.
Of course, we both have vastly different ideas about what is important and what is upsetting. I can’t bubble wrap him and shield him from life, that will just upset him. He’s been getting very adamant about not being bubble wrapped.
But I know that I don’t want to overwhelm him with the day to day that makes it possible to get through the day. We have tried to talk to each other about the fact that sometimes both of us get our feelings hurt when life is piling up.
How do other care givers and siblings, family and friends get through the day to day frustrations without letting it upset or affect the person in your life who is fighting this illness?
Just looking for some new ideas.
Thank you for letting me post.