It’s the end of the year and I usually clean out the negative bits from the last year. There are a few lingering journals that I’ve been reading through and I’ve been seeing some of the mistakes I’ve made and misconceptions I had about SZ while I was growing up.
Some are sad, but I’m focusing on the one that made me roll my eyes and say to myself… What was I thinking?
First, when I was just beginning to learn how to write, I was convinced it was schizo-phonic. I’ve written it over and over again. I could never find information in the library on schizophonic
When I was in kindergarten and my brother’s voices began to really amp up to a distracting level, he thought he developed sonic hearing. I tried to bring my brother in for show and tell. So he could show off his super powers. What was I thinking?
I used to think schizophrenia was contagious so if I ate off his plate I’d get it to and then I would better understand him. So I was always eating off his plate. I told him I was poison testing. That didn’t help his paranoia. What was I thinking? I didn’t catch schizophrenia, but I did accidently give him chicken pox’s.
I remember when I was about 7 there was a movie on about voodoo witch doctors who released people from a cationic state with chicken bones, blue powder and rattles and of course blood sacrifice. I would prick my fingers to put the blood on the chicken bones and I would rattle them around and make all this noise around my brother. He couldn’t take the noise and the chicken bones on a string so he would get up and leave. I was convinced I was curing him of his voodoo curse… What was I thinking?
I was such a dumb kid… I am so glad I wised up.