My daughter of 18 years old tried to commit suicide after a mental breakdown. She has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and it has been very hard for our family. I now think back you know maybe there were signs and i couldve gotten her help so much earlier. She had reoccurring nightmares and had to sleep with me and my husband until she was 13. I was wondering if that couldve been a sign? I mean she would run and burst through the door in absolute fear crying.
I wonder about this sometimes too with my daughter. I mean we knew she was struggling with something, but had no idea to what extent because my daughter wouldn’t talk to us about it … she was keeping it all to herself, and when we tried to talk to her about it, she would instist that she didn’t need any help… it wasn’t until this past summer that our daughter opened up to us about hearing voices and other things… and she finally did realize that she needed help… we started her our with counseling with a therapist… we are still looking for a psychiatrist for her to get the official diagnosis. My daughter just turned 18 last week.
Welcome to the group, you will find a lot of good support here… also if you find a local chapter for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), they support groups including one for family members… I have tried to do this, but the groups are far away and at times that do not work for us at all. I have a friend in another state that is on the board for his local NAMI.
Thank you so much. I notice similarities I mean our daughter never opens up about anything never told us truly what she was struggling with but it became increasingly obvious it was getting worse and she was losing control. Her mood swings are insane and she has attempted suicide a few times. When she was a kid she use to talk a lot and I mean so much me and my husband use to have to switch to listen to her bless her. Between the ages of 3-13 she use to talk to nothing but we just assumed it was like her vivid imagination and her playing games you know ? I almost feel guilty thinking about all these things that blatantly couldve been signs.
A lot of similarities… I know all about the mood swings… my daughter never tried to commit suicide, although she did go through a stage of cutting herself.
And the imaginary worlds, my daughter talks about what she calls her “mind palace” and different characters from this place. Sometimes it is all she talks about… it wasn’t until recently that she said that they talk to her and they almost seem real to her. She is very creative and she draws these characters a lot and makes stuffed art dolls of them (she has made a beautiful dragon doll)…and writes stories about them, so we also thought this was just her creativity and imagination.
Felt that way before… but I am not sure you really could’ve known for sure… you did the best you could at the time…just be thankful that she is getting the help she needs now
It doesnt seem to be helping her though. Shes blatantly refused to take the antipsychotics and cried to me that she doesnt want them to change her or her brain. She thinks its all pointless because she says shes gonna die anyway theres no point in all the effort we’re making for her. Its heartbreaking.
@Marytalland - Please don’t beat yourself up over this. (I know it’s a terrible situation). I personally had no idea what was wrong with my son from 20 - 27 ish. I never even thought about mental illness. Thinking back on it there were signs here and there but nothing clicked until he went really off the deep end. Most of us go back and think of all the things we may have done to cause it - BUT that doesn’t benefit any of else. We didn’t cause it, we can’t cure it and we can’t control it. We can manage it as best we can. Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear about your daughter. You will get a lot of support here.
I am sorry that it isn’t really helping.
My daughter also didn’t want to have to take medication. She was concerned sbout it changing her brain and well as scared about possible side effects. Someone here recommended a book called “I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help” by Xavier Amador (I still need to get a copy of it). It is about listening and empathizing with them and getting to the point where they start listening to and respecting your advice.
Thank you so much for the encouragement but as you probably already know as parents we take all the blame its our children of course we feel at fault. I just dont know what to do as awful as it sounds I feel I dont really truly know my own child
I know… it is so easy to take the blame! I sometimes think I screwed up my kid…there was a time where we had a real rough relationship… my daughter and I were too often yelling at each other… we are a lot a like ( maybe too much so) and we’re often at odds with each other… I thought it was just her being disrespectful, but now I know that even that could have been part of her illness.
We’re only happiest as our saddest child. So they say. Is she still in the hospital? Did they put her on medication? I feel like the meds reset everything. There are also alternative things to take. Sacosine (advertised here on this site) helps with sz and severe depression. I tried to give it to my son in smoothies. Now I take it for mild depression and it seems to help. How is your daughter feeling - will she talk to you?
My son was diagnosed last year at 28 with paranoid sz. Barricaded me out of my house. I had to get the cops to break in and haul him off to the hospital. He thought I was an imposter and that drones were following him and that wasn’t even the worst. 6 weeks in the hospital and a transition home and on the invega monthly shot he is now working a solid job. He is more clear and “normal” than I’ve seen him in years.
I wonder if there is also a group that supports parents of children who try to commit suicide. I think there are several people here in that situation. You may want to start a post about that - when/if you are ready. We are here for you - anything can be asked in this group.
I’ve struggled with this a lot. Trying to let it go.
I have had a schizophrenic sister and I’m schizophrenic myself
My mum said she feels like a failure
She is so far from that
I told her she is lke the Andy Murray of mums.
Fighting supporting loving
All that fear loneliness and isolation
Also told her its the same as me feeling a failure for not having children
Its a genetic trick
Dont fall for feeling a failure that way
No shes at home now. Me and my husband are really reluctant to put her in a psych ward. It goes against all my maternal insticts. She threatened to kill herself when I tried to talk to her about it. Shes on tranquilizers and antidepressants but shes extremely reluctant to take the antipsychotics. She didnt eat for nearly a week because she thought she was feeding the bugs in her stomach. Shes run off in just her socks and we’ve found her screaming and crying on the floor. I once caught her throwing out certain foods because she said she had a dream that they were poisoned. She tends to throw tantrums sometimes of nowhere shell stamp her feet and scream and yell. Shes very aggressive but has never laid a hand on me but shes told me before she doesnt trust anyone that everyone is gonna hurt her. She believes the whole world is evil and out to get her she barely leaves the house.
Yes, “I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help” is a good book. Please also buy and read “Surviving Schizophrenia, 6th Edition: A Family Manual” by E. Fuller Torrey, M.D. This book covers a wide variety of topics and contains a great deal of useful information involving schizophrenia. It’s meant for family members.
My son was diagnosed almost four years ago and has been in psychiatric lockups 15 times since then, the last time for seven weeks after putting his life at risk. He has avoided medication during those years, or has taken it only sporadically, but I think the latest episode has convinced him to go with a Long-Acting Injectable (LAI), which he is taking now. It’s always One Day at a Time, but – fingers crossed that he’ll stick with it for a while.
The drugs have side effects, but it’s better than causing harm to yourself or others during a psychotic episode. Scientists recently reported that many genes may play a role in the development of schizophrenia, so there won’t be a cure for it any time soon. There are a number of different antipsychotics and it may take some trial and error to find out which one works best for a given person.
No one should feel guilty about “missing” the signs of schizophrenia, or worse, thinking they helped cause it in their child (you didn’t). The symptoms mimic many common adolescent behaviors such as being anti-social or uncommunicative at times, being over-emotional, unpredictable, etc. Once you have a diagnosis, look forward, not back. Good luck.
Is she willing to take meds? She could do that without going to a Behavioral Health unit. On the other hand the BH unit may be able to help her. At first is was really terrible but we got through it. The scary thing is they were short term and they thought they were going to send my son to a bigger state hospital long term. But he responded well to the meds they gave him and he got better. It sounds like your daughter may be a good candidate for the monthly Invega shot. But I am by no means a doctor. @oldladyblue - see post above. Thought you may want to share your advice/story here. Something about the running off in her socks reminded me of your daughter.
It is common for sz to think they are being poisoned. My son thought I was poisoning him. Isolated for 10 plus months. Rarely left the house - which ended up good as we don’t want them driving while like this. People were following him to steal his organs.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I know it is very stressful.
Shes taking her antidepressants but complaining about it while shes at it. The complaining I can deal with shes had another mental breakdown saying how much she desperately wants to die and im trying to comfort her and my husband. I think as much as it pains me Im gonna have to involuntarily hospitalize her. Itll hurt us both so much but as long as she gets better itll be worth it
Many of our loved ones surprisingly respond well to the meds. The doctors will give them oral meds at first to see if there are side effects. I had to push for the injectable shot. The doctor told me medicaid didn’t cover and I said the social worker said they do. The doctor double checked and he is on it. He was first on court ordered meds and now he’s on probation for a speeding ticket and resisting arrest (from the fake cops) so he will be on the shot until Oct. Then we’ll see what happens. I’m sorry your daughter is having a hard time. You may want to read through a lot of these posts as you will find a wealth of information.
You should look up open dialogue therapy before rushing to meds…
Just an idea
You should really do your research
Open dialogue therapy has amazing results…
Be careful following advice here and do your own research!
And believe me doctors aren’t cut up to be perfect and misdiagnose people all the time.
So do a lot of research…
How long has she been on anti depressants?
How life at home?