Hi bex. I’m a sibling too. Thank you for reminding me and others to not get pulled down by our ill sibling, as that leads to no good. How can you help if you yourself are harmed to the point of not being able to function, right? This has been part of my journey to learn this, figure out the balance–and I hold open the possibility that in the future there will be no balance. It could be “him or me” if my brother takes a turn. So far, it’s been manageable…but my father, in the last months of his own life, told me to make the same choice for myself if push came to shove, because, as you say, there is no guarantee my efforts will make a difference.
Most parents and probably especially mothers, at least mine, would not be able to easily accept or process the whole “walk away” concept we’re discussing here. It’s a brutal choice for anyone to have to make.
Take care and thanks.