Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Poll: Would you sacrifice one family member to save the family

If someone has mental illness, and they became intolerable would you stop supporting them in order to ‘save’ the rest of the family?

  • Yes
  • No

0 voters

I may not be able to keep them under the same roof as the other family members, but I would find a way to put them in a safe place so that they were still receiving support. If that makes sense.


Interesting result and not what I’d have expected. 75% would never give up on a family member.

I think its a false dichotomy / split - you might have to move a disruptive/dangerous person out of the house to “save” the family, but still continue to support the mentally ill person. That is what many families do I think.

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This poll is the mirror image to this poll

And the results so far match up. 25% of us feel were on our own. And 25% of people say they would stop supporting a mentally ill person when they became too much.

I know some of my family feel they have been sacrificed for my son with sz. That’s fine, my son needs someone to stand with him. I will never not help him. The ones that feel left behind can educate themselves and see why I cannot leave him to be alone!


My daughters feel the same way, and worry about me.
You never give up-you just have to find a way to make it work. Sometimes, you have to step back for awhile to catch your breath.

I agree. An either/or stipulation not supported by the evidence. If one 1) educates oneself (as with Torrey’s fine book and on this larger website) and learnes how to 2) observer to notice to recognize to acknowledge to accept to own to appreciate to understand free of previous conditionings to stereotype or judge on the basis of mere belief, one will intuit what to do.

if to save a family…you have to sacrifice one member of the family…
it is not a family worth saving anyway.
children are not a disposable commodity…
when said child does come up to a pre-conceived expectation…
if love is conditional…it is not love.
take care :alien:

’ nota bene ’ for above;
when said child does ’ not ’ come up to a pre-conceived expectation.

thank you
take care :alien:

No, if they are family members, i will try to change their mind for family can live fully again

I’ve never given up on my daughter but I must say there are times when I believe that perhaps my daughter needs to live in a group home or in an apartment by herself with other folks nearby who have the same challenges and I would still be involved in her life but with some boundaries. I finally understand that my daughter is not able to do what most folks take for granted.

So no I would absolutely not throw my daughter away and I believe most parents would not.

If a family member could be “sacrificed”, what they are being cut off from is not a family at all.

A family needs all members…

Not saying or implying that a family has any certain shape or must live together or eat meals at dining table each night, just be there for each other in ways that work.



My other two daughters have felt the same way but now that they are grown women with children they completely understand. Neither of those two daughters could ever sacrifice or abandon a family member in need. Maybe your family members will come to realize that abandoning a sick and fragile grown daughter or son is impossible for a parent to do.


I asked a therapist if it was necessary to refuse my son at the door, and continue to call the police everyday he showed up, if we let him in , he wouldn’t leave, and would be verbally abusive and the like. His reply to me was “if you let him in , he will take the whole family down”, in hindsight, refusing him entry and when hospitalized letting doctors know he can not come home is the reason he his getting quality help now. local hospitals in my opinion do the revolving door thnig and don’t really provide anything more than suicide prevention.

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Just saw this post. Amen!! I feel the same way about my son!! And in fact am going through a divorce bc my husband (not bio father) wouldn’t learn about the mi and kept making things harder on my son. So, again, I choose my son! I’m the only one in his life that has his back!!


You supported your son’s recovery.