I often reflect, when I’m alone in the silence, of how this all started with my son (the symptoms, behaviors, physical outward appearance), his progressive decline and plummeting into rock bottom, and his slow eventual climb upwards from hell.
What are some of your recollections of the scariest times from your family member in the midst of psychosis?
I remember 2 of the most darkest events (and there were many). First one was where he locked me in in his apartment and wouldn’t let me leave. He said he didn’t want to be alone anymore, and that he missed me. Then he went into a crying spell saying he stepped on an ant hill and that he had killed a family of ants, and that he was very sad about it.
Second time it was when I came home from work to the front door wide open, he had destroyed almost everything in the apt, and he was not there. This is the time he went missing for 3 days and the police found him and was then admitted to a psyche hospital. His first time, stayed in hospital for 3 months. In hindsight, all of the symptoms were already there, it was just a matter of time before the explosion.
I just feel like it would be healing to talk on here, but if you guys do not feel comfortable sharing, I totally understand that.
For myself, when I’m alone, and I reflect, and play it out in my mind, is when I feel some of the healing takes place. I’ve learned to not to try to put things out of my mind forcibly, but naturally. So if something pops in my head of a horrific time, I just go with it and play it out instead of switching gears and thinking of something else.
I live for quiet and alone time.