Omg there is no way I could ever do that. My son has his own apartment but we are 110% in his life every day. My biggest fear is that he would be homeless and lost. Like you said anyone who doesn’t have a child with a mental illness would never get it. My son was diagnosed 9 years ago.
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My son’s room is disgusting. I have to go in and tell him if he doesn’t clean, I will and he doesn’t want me in his room to clean it.
It is part of their illness, most have poor hygiene and sloppy rooms.
Dear mhmatt720,
My boyfriend has schizophrenia and some things have been going really well whereas other things are a challenge for us. With communicating and calling he is doing much better, I will call him or text and he will call me back within 1-3 days. Sometimes his texts are hard to understand so calling is better. He does visit me but only once a week and mostly at night. I want him to meet my son but he does not want too. Also, I would like to meet his mother and be formally introduced to his family, but he has not done so. I have met some of his brothers informally, but I would like to be part of the family. I wish that our relationship could have some improvement on these things but I don’t know how to help him take baby steps.
Tiny changes, repeated until they stick, were the only way to bring improvement to my daughter’s life. I remember when just getting her to open her bedroom door to talk to me, instead of talking through the door, was a super big change. Then it became taking a nightly walk.
One change at a time, repeated over several days, then makes a good habit.
yes, my son as well, I had he Department of Mental Health come to the house to offer services, which we desperately need but he declined it all.
He does not leave his room or go outside much, I guess this is typical. Refers to his friends but I have not seen anyone is years, I’m thinking those 'friends" are the voices.
I read everyone’s comments and they are all what we went through with our son. Its is such a devastating mental illness. I just want to bless you all for all of you have given so much to someone who has no clue. Take a moment to give yourself a big hug and know you are doing your best.
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It can be typical, but it doesn’t have to be. Is he on his meds? My son gets an injection every 3 months (4x a year) he has his own apartment and he drives, hangs out with his friends, goes to the gas station for cigs and a tea… he does pace a lot and even though he is out, he can sit for hours at a local bar where everyone knows him, but he stares off into space. He will interact, but they all know him and they have my number just in case. His brother and my sister live within a 2 miles radius. He is in Louisiana right now visiting with me, he goes back to Missouri next week… dreading the drive, but he is excited to go home. My son won’t go for a physical, won’t brush his teeth unless prompted, showers are the same. You can’t reason with them… it’s more like they need to think that they decided to do it. That’s how I handle my son. Even rewarding them is sometimes an option. Never ever treat them like they are children, because that is a trigger for my son… he is 33 and commands respect. I give it to him.
Purchase them one of these:
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I think it is the illness, my son moved down into the basement, it is full of moldy food containers, food/drinks everywhere, he uses the floor as they ashtray, he does have his own bathroom and OMG.
I am frustrated as this is ruining my home I tried everything. Once and a while he will clean, but I sneak around him when he is sleeping trying to remove the food containers.
he also hides bags and bags of trash in the closets.
What can we do I wish I knew ?
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@Justsad, I’m trying to come up with some answers to this very dilemma! In the past he has let me clean his apartment (before I had to move across country to help my daughter) but he would not agree to me hiring someone to come and clean. I have recently retired and moved close by so I will find a solution. I’m currently away visiting relatives and arranging my dads burial in his birthplace as he requested so have awhile to think about it too.
I remember a friend years ago had her son move into her basement suite and paid a cleaner to come in. He was ok with that though. Maybe being firm with the boundary of living here requires you to allow someone come and clean?
For me there is an issue with affordability as well. I don’t think I can afford to pay what would be required!
Maybe starting a non profit cleaning company just for these situations is the answer? Anyway I wish you luck! I could not look at my sons bathroom…
Hi unfortunately he has no insight into his illness, does not take meds, will not go to therapy. I am just trying to keep him safe and non violent at this point.
The department of mental health is involved, trying to gain trust to get him back on his meds. Another hospitalization is coming.
I am sending warm wishes that the hospitalization will help!