Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Should I be happy he’s content


#1

I am mostly ok when thinking how far he/we have come , at times like today for instance , got my son up at 1.15pm . Made him food and he was content and enjoyed it then he goes back to bed with his laptop, he’s content, am I bad for feeling he should be doing more? I asked maybe this year he feels like a little part time job, he says no mum and all the jobs he has had in past are due to someone else intervening. That someone got him the jobs and now he can’t get one as he’s tried but can’t because the police ensure because of his religion he won’t get one!

When I write this here then I understand more but for today I keep thinking is this it…
He happily said after his breakfast “ mum can we get pizza later”
Food and football are all he focuses on.

Sorry I know I should feel grateful that it’s much better than it was . Mostly I do .


#2

Jane, my 22 year old son has zero motivation as well. I’ve repeatedly suggested counseling, peer advocacy, Clubhouse, gym membership, part-time volunteer job, etc. He says no to everything and it’s been like this for over 2 years.

I read recently that the negative symptoms of schizophrenia can actually be more detrimental than the positive ones, in regards to having a functional outcome. I’m seeing this.

My son has been on Invega Sustenna monthly for over a year now, but the meds do nothing for the negative symptoms. It’s heartbreaking to see him do nothing and aspire to nothing. He had so much potential.

On the positive side, unless he’s in a “bad phase”, he seems happy. He laughs a lot. He just plays XBox and hangs around the house. He lives with us and probably always will. Food and sports are pretty much the only interests for our son as well.


#3

Thanks Day-by-Day, I’m pleased you son is stable.
It is heartbreaking though isn’t it, same with my son (27)

It’s true about the negative symptoms, I’ve tried the exact same, he has had the opportunities for the peer support too, also gym, sports classes, volunteering etc etc.
Do we really know yet why the motivation is so low. It’s easy to mistake for laziness isn’t it though I know there is much more to it than this.

My son will only make the 3 min walk to the local shop, or very occasionally go to a soccer match and that’s it.


#4

Jane, there’s definitely been a lot written about low motivation as a negative symptom of schizophrenia. I have no doubt it’s the disease that’s causing it for my son. Before he became ill, he was so driven. I can’t imagine any young man (or woman) would live this way unless their brain wasn’t working properly. My son just doesn’t perceive the world the way he used to when his brain was healthy. It’s very sad.


#5

Sorry about that , it really is heartbreaking :relieved:
My son did his degree etc but actually hasn’t been driven or motivated for much other stuff.
Even as a child he had mostly one interest at a time where he would focus entirely on that if not obsess at times over it.
It was buses , trains , timetables, as a kid we thought it was just an interest but he wrote out timetables for buses constantly.
Makes me wonder was there something there even from an early age .


#6

Yes, it is heartbreaking. Even though our son is relatively stable, I sure as hell hope this isn’t as good as it’s going to get. Unfortunately, I have a feeling it is because he won’t try Clozaril. We tried. He still has paranoia, hallucinations, and delusions, as well as the negative symptoms. But, his mood is pretty stable (most of the time) and we have space to separate ourselves, so we can live in relative peace (usually).

I know we’re very fortunate. We went through hell, just like everyone on this forum has or still is experiencing. I never want to go back there, but it could happen. Meds are critical, but as we all know, meds can be refused.


#7

My son has been stable on Clozaril more than 8 years. It was difficult for me to separate my own hopes and dreams for my son from what my son actually was comfortable doing with his own life. Like everyone here his daily activities are relatively limited to accompanying me where I go, or sitting at home watching TV- he also loves football, game shows, and reality TV oddly enough…like Big Brother or Survivor. He is preoccupied with food as well but has moderated much better on not overeating unless it is the holidays-then he doesn’t have an off button.

He goes with me almost daily on long walks. He does minimal shopping without me and only at a store right by the house. He has a few other minor household activities, a coin collection, recycling, and he helps periodically with housework and laundry but he wants desperately not to be pushed into any friendships, outside activities on his own or a job of any kind…(I pushed a lot when I first saw him getting better and every time it made him regress) --besides his tendency to become confused with verbal directions, tire out easily and wanting to smoke every hour on the hour…I finally came to realize that my son was content with HIS life, and now I needed to be content with MY life which was when I started going out in the mornings to do something I enjoyed by myself, whether it be swimming, the library or a solo shopping trip or time with friends. I regained my autonomy. My son still sleeps late so if that wasn’t the case things might be different.

I don’t mourn so much anymore what isn’t. I try to remember how he was before he was stabilized, when he couldn’t talk, when he actively sought out dangerous street drugs, obeyed his voices and ran away every chance he got. I look at the now calm saner grown man who is helpful and caring and pretty funny at times and who is happiest when things are quiet and peaceful and he is left to entertain himself. I am happy he is content. :slight_smile:


#8

Catherine, I’m reading this with a gentle smile on my face, it’s happy , I can learn from this too.

I think I’m probavly a bit anxious as son has a med review on Monday, he is adamant he’s not going, he is on a CTO, where he has to comply with certain stuff (not much) just take meds and not avoid appointments , which are rather rare. He wants absolutely nothing to do with the mental health doctors, he gets angry, vocal and anxious when either his nurse rings or he has an appointment.

The aripiprazole although has made him happier and more like himself it’s also made him a bit more vocal and objective , the depot of paliperidone didn’t do that , it made him a bit more passive and he rarely voiced his objections.

I think I’m scared that when they lift the CTO that he will stop meds and it will all collapse again.
For now though I’m taking the part where you said that your son seems happy with HIS life. Thanks for reminding me , it’s what I needed, :grin:


#9

My son won’t try clozapine elther , he doesn’t trust the blood test or what they will do with his blood.


#10

My son was nervous about the blood tests too at first but after 8 years and all the blood tests have been great he doesn’t give it a second thought now…The blood tests are standard CBC -the kind a family doctor takes from anyone yearly…it just shows that the white blood cell count is normal because in some people on Clozaril it can cause a dramatic change in the white blood cell count and in that case the Clozaril would have to stop. I know my son’s compliancy is a rare situation, compared to most and I never take it for granted. However with my son I feel like his compliancy came along with his clarity he gained from his medication…I actually recall the day that he said to me “If I knew that there was a medication that would totally get rid of the voices in my head I would have wanted to take it a long time ago” This happened about 1 year after he started the Clozaril. I hope your son’s review turns out well. Best wishes. .


#11

Jane, my son won’t try Clozapine for delusion-related reasons as well. He doesn’t trust pills, any pills, as he believes he’ll become incapacitated if he swallows one. Yet, strangely, he’ll accept injections. I bet if Clozaril came in daily injections, he’d take them.


#12

So much in common, mine says that they will take his blood and use it in a blood sacrifice , though he did once say he heard that from another patient in the hospital.

My son also says that they will inject him with something to “knock him out” ie incapacitate him then either do awful things to him OR they will kidnap him to a foreign country.
He keeps his passport separate from ours in his own locked safe in his room.


#13

We have so many obstacles to deal with. If only the rest of the world understood. They (the rest of the world) have no clue.


#14

I’m still a bit stunned that my son has been compliant with Clozapine.

I think it helps that it is the ONLY med he needs to take, and it has been effective in a single daily dose. With everything else, it seemed he needed to take other meds for side effects, they made him gain weight, and he had to take multiple doses a day.

By now, the monthly lab test is just a quick stop at the draw center, where the ladies make over him a bit, and then we stop at a favorite coffee shop.

Reading your original post, I would say your son is about as stable as mine is now on Clozapine.


#15

I’m so pleased that your son is stable and doing so well.


#16

Amazed at how similar some of our kids are. I have had to definatly adjust my expectations for my sons life. He is very content spending most of his time in his room… and as much as this makes me sad… I am just thankful that he is home… that by Gods Grace some how he is content in his heart and mind. I am thankful he’s not wondering around… thankful he’s not getting into trouble. His ambition goes as far as whatever research he’s doing for whatever conspiracy he’s chasing… and what food he’s going to eat.


#17

If he’s content, has support and has a warm bed and food and he’s happy, it’s wonderful that You can adapt and adjust and put this into perspective. I mostly am able to do this too, mostly (she says) :grin:
Thinking of you.


#18

Jane,
Thanks for sharing. You are definitely not alone on this one. My son who has been diagnosed 6 years ago and have five years of being on a constant roller coaster ride with him, he is finally consistent with his meds and there is finally some peace in the home. The new concern is that all he does is eat in abundance then crawl back into bed… and get up and eat some more. He has gone from and athletic built young man to now 280lbs all in about the past 6 months. I try to get him to walk on the treadmill at the house but the excuses are endless. My friends tell me to let it go and be thankful that I finally have some peace and he’s on meds because that’s the biggest win. I’m concerned about chronic issues.


#19

Oh Lana my heart goes out to you.
I totally understand where you are coming from and yes it’s good that your son is stable on meds but as a mother it’s tough on you to see the toll it’s taking on him /his body ,
It’s almost like once they are stable or improving then something within us starts to allow us to catch up on all the stress that we have gone through prior to this.
Thinking of you and keep upbeat .


#20

I am happy when my son is content. He goes from low to high episodes. One day he will want to get his PHD and next day play games all day.I am 80, he is 21, adoption,he has learned to drive an could drive by himself etc. for weeks and then does not want to drive. I want him to get SSdisability but he does not want it but he will need it when I die… How do u deal w/ this?? I ache for what he goes thru. He was premature,still small for his age, has been bullied etc. I am over protective of him and do not expect of him what my 3 birth kids do…thanks for listening