Son committed waiting to go who knows where


I have an older brother who is schizophrenic. When he nearly killed my father, I took him away to another city that I lived in thinking that I could care for him. Well, it lasted 3 years and when I got beaten up by my brother, he was sent to a psychiatric ward and that was when I discovered there is a nursing home available for my brother. Getting beaten up was probably a blessing in disguise as now my brother has 3 meals a day, hygiene, and friends in the nursing home for the last 20 years. While I haven’t figure out what to do for my brother if I passed away before he does, placing him in the nursing home has made it easier in case something happens to me.


Chong, thank you for helping your brother find a safe place to live. You have accomplished much in doing so. Best to you and your brother in the new year.


I’m so sorry you and your husband and your son are going thru this. I understand about the age worries-I’m in that situation too. Hereandthere had good advice. I’ve had to tell the hospital that I can not take care of my loved one when they are still psychotic and that they have no place to go now. Dispite the fact that I would never kick him out. And I was very firm and unwavering in telling them this. In many caes (and even a emergency room doctor told me this) The hospital needs to hear those words from you in order to keep them longer and to figure out the meds that will work for your son (instead of the patch ‘em up and send them on approach done due to time and money constraints). You have to look at it as getting the help your son needs desperately rather than thinking you are abandoning him. You aren’t abandoning him-you are still there and will be there when he’s better. Its just that in many cases, the hospital needs to hear certain phrases in order to proceed. Be strong.


Feel for you went through the same things. Are you sure he is taking his medication, that is most important to get him more stable. If he is not due to denial or doesn’t like the side affects. You can get him on injections, which can be twice a month. Need to talk with a organization that does after care for people with mental issues. Here in new york you cannot be discharged from a hospital, unless there is a discharge plan in order. My son has made real progress this year , but it takes the right meds to get there. Good luck.


I have often been in the similar situation, with my son being deemed ready for discharge from inpatient, but still psychotic.

If you are not able to take him home, be very clear with the social worker at the hospital about that. and work with them to find another place for him. Many of the places available aren’t great, but sometimes, you have to consider all options including sub-optimal ones.


Hi Teresa,

Would suggest Music as therapy if you have already not tried it.
And I hope your son feels better this time round.

Best wishes


I am 61, just had major neck surgery. My son, 21 gets violent and beats me when his meds are not ok. I keep asking for a medicaid home too. Say NO. You have to take care of you or you can’t help him at all!!!