My sz son has now decided that he doesn’t need to take his meds anymore. I didn’t think that it could get worse in my home, but it has. He doesn’t want to see his psychiatrist anymore either. He just wants us to give him his money and find him a place to live. Every single day his dad and I get to hear what horrible people we are and that is about the nicest things he says. I have told him to just leave and he won’t, telling us that we need to find him a place to live. We can’t afford anything in our area. Not only does this disease ruin the life of the person with it, but also those of us that care for him. I want him out of the house too. I am tired of the verbal abuse and am scared of being alone with him. Any advice please?
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Hi Tippy, remind me, does your son receive disability or ssi?
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Depending on his financials SSI or SSDI
The low income housing in the area most likely there’s a wait list could he get on that wait list?
Are there any group homes if there’s a co occurring substance use disorder there may be programs there with housing,
Just contacting the housing authority in your area and maybe getting a master list of all the places.
I’m sorry that you are going through this right now it seems this is one of the largest battles of sz keeping people safely housed.
Hope you get some resources wishing you strength during this time
He is on disability now.
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Low income housing in my area is a joke. Hard to find with waiting lists a mile long. Guess I can’t win if I don’t enter. I just wish I could have found something yesterday!
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I would do what I could to move him. When Mike became desperate to leave he found a cheap apartment about 5 hours away. I remained his Payee Rep and I paid his rent out of his disability check. My husband and I had to pay the deposit and whatever else was required each time we moved him.
I had a similar experience with our daughter. Unfortunately when a person is ill they tend to blame others especially the parents and are verbally abusive. It is not easy as you need to care for yourself as well. BUT they need the support and help of family and friends especially during this time.
You can do several proactive things:
- You can call a well health checkup with the police department in your area but make sure if you call 9-1-1 that it’s for a mental health issue as you don’t want the regular police person, 2) call a crisis health center in your area and write up a petition, 3) contact NAMI (national alliance on mental illness) in your area. They have lots of resources for your such as advisors for you and a family to family for educating yourself.
One of the best resources is the book “I’m not sick…I don’t need help.” by Dr Amador. He teaches how to work with a mental ill person using the LEAP method.
Wishing you the best.
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My son decided to stop his meds and use drugs- he lost his subsidized housing- spent a year in jail for attacking his neighbors- now he’s in psychiatric hospital- seriously bad state of mind but taking his meds- in jail he fell and lost his front teeth and also lost his vision somehow- he’s in a wheelchair due to losing a leg during another psychotic break- I’m his power of attorney- I’m praying the hospital finds him safe long term care- I’ve done everything to support him but he made bad decisions- I can only do do much- I would never let him live with us again- I don’t have answers-I attend Alanon and try to focus on taking care of myself- I’m not sure how old your son is but do what you can to move him out- we didn’t cause it can’t cure nor can we control it- save yourself and your marriage-
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Hi Carly, my son is still in isolation in the county jail, it is going on 5 months. He calls occasionally on Mondays and Thursdays, that is I think when he is allowed to call on the hour he gets out of isolation. When I talk to him he always is very angry and blames me for him being in jail. He said I am at the jail and I run the jail and I want him there for life. It is so scary because I am afraid he will come after me when he gets out. He is in jail for attacking my husband with a metal pole and harassing neighbors and stealing alcohol from a store. We have a lawyer trying to get him in mental health court but who knows when and if that will happen because it sounds like he is exhibiting violent behavior in jail, which I why he has been in constant isolation. I pray they get him to a psychiatric facility soon. He seems so far gone from reality now. He threw all his meds out about a year ago. He never did great on his meds but at least it was better than this. I pray both our sons get better and it is important that we look out for ourselves. It seems at this point my son is so far from reality that he will never function somewhat normal and live on his own. I could never live with him as I am too afraid. Take care and have a good week.
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Hi Irene, our sons going through the same hell in jail- isolation- however, my son was released from jail 2 weeks ago. He’s at a psychiatric hospital-He called last Friday-I was shocked- hadn’t talk to him in a year-he’s struggle in the psychiatric hospital with same episodes of anger “, lashing out and crying and he’s all out of sorts- he has agreed to take medication- however, he’s had something happen in jail and he’s lost his vision- he’s now blind, in a wheelchair with one leg ( lost his leg in 2007 after a psychic break) and he fell in jail and lost his two front teeth- I went to see him and it was awful to see him in this condition-they are goi g to try to get him into a assisted living facility he can’t take care of himself- he’s never tried to hurt us but I’m afraid of what he is capable of doing/ he attacked his neighbors it’s all a huge nightmare- unbelievable-praying for them both and praying for you and your husband- we wouldn’t allow my son to live with us either- hoping his medication kicks in soon-
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Hi Carly, this is truly a horrible nightmare. I couldn’t imagine how traumatic and sad it was to see your son in this condition. I have a feeling that is what I am looking forward to. My son did call me on some Mondays and Thursdays from jail isolation when he got the hour out, but he has not for a few weeks. I am sure it is because he is in such bad shape that he can’t. I am so sad for your son and mine, they truly did not deserve this fate. The jail has made them even worse. They both should have gotten medical psychiatric attention immediately, instead of rotting in jail getting worse, when they have a horrible illness and no treatment. That would not of happened with cancer or diabetes. So awful.
Carly, my prayers for all of us. We have to remember that we did our best and we didn’t t cause it, can t control it , and can t cure it. May us and our sons have a peaceful night.
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