A lot of sz’s are ambivalent about their med’s. I certainly am. They diminish us in ways we don’t like. Personally, I understand that I have to take them, because I know what happens when I don’t. I always feel a little hypocritical when I recommend med’s for someone because of my own mixed feelings about them. However, I feel like that is what your son needs. Maybe you can find what med’s he tolerates best through trial and error, but in this case I feel like med’s are needed.
I’m so sorry you are in a caregiver position with little relief. without taking meds one day he will hurt you.
In Houston (my deceased husband was schizophrenic) we can call and ask for a special ambulance that has injectable rispdone.