No worries - I get jealous all the time.
Of people who have family members who have insight, or are more cooperative, or are more social.
I get jealous of all the attention that autism gets.
And, I get jealous that people with mentally retarded children have kids that, for the most part, seem so happy.
I also get jealous of all the people I know that drank, and did drugs, or neglected their kids - but their kids are still pretty well adjusted and living their lives.
I know it's not fair to compare my family's struggles with anyone elses, but I think it's human nature to feel that way so I don't worry about it too much. I love my son & wouldn't trade him for anything, but I can't help but feel like we all got a bum rap that we didn't deserve.
EDIT: I did want to add that I was pretty scared about this med to start, but it really hasn't been that much work. I make an appt with the lab every Wed. afternoon (it's almost always empty at that time), we're in & out in about 10 minutes, sometimes less. I treat him to Starbucks or whatever he wants on the way home. He hasn't made a single complaint.
The lab faxes the bloodwork resutls to the doctor & the pharmacy - I pick up his meds once a week.
I give him his meds twice a day - sometimes I have to wake him up. He grumbles a little bit sometimes or gives me "the look", but he takes them even if he tells me they don't work, he doesn't need them or he's just taking them to make me happy.
The only struggle was adjusting his cigarette intake, but I got him to switch to American Spirits in the Blue pack, so Lights? I'm not sure if the drop in additional chemicals cut back on his cravings or if he's just sleeping too much to smoke, but he's way down from his 2 to 2.5 pack a day habit with the cheapo cigarettes. I give him a pack a day & he fills in with his e-cig. Most days, he has a few cigarettes left over. That's a huge improvement.
He's also not craving alcohol anymore. It dropped pretty quickly & I don't think he's anything to drink at all for the past 2 days. Not that I expect him to never drink again, but it's nice that I'm not so worried about him adding alcoholic to his list of labels.
I'd definitely recommend the Clozapine at this point if you've had less than good results with several other drugs.