Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Thoughts on setting boundaries

My daughter returned from the hospital this week. It is her 4th stay since September…all self committed. She is still so paranoid. Twice this week she has wanted to sleep with me. So my husband sleeps in her room…and she sleeps with me. No one really gets much sleep. We did install some outdoor camera’s…so she can see herself that there is no one in the yard.

I am just unsure how to handle her wanting to sleep with me. I know she is terrified and is just looking for some peace…but I also know I need to somehow get some sleep.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how you handled this?

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Im sorry you’re having a hard time . is she med compliant ? if yes , i think you should tell her psychiatrist that her meds may need changing or ajusting or even try homeopathic remedies , there is one in particular for paranoia called hyoscyamus niger, you can read about it . Hope that helps …

same, they slept together about 8 years till daughter moved to her apartment one year ago, prior to that 8 year period we all had separate rooms 16 years… it did not take me long to covert her room to electronics/RC shop…

The main things I would suggest are wheat avoidance, low fat / low sugar foods, a good antipsychotic, and a few supplements.

See https://hearing-voices.info/index.php/theorized-causes/ for a plausible theory on what causes schizophrenia (with studies linked.)

First supplement I’d recommend is Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals, which is FDA approved, and has a lot of studies showing it works for mental illness, with very low side effects.

That alone might do the job, but it takes a week or two for noticable benefits.

If you need something fast acting, I’d recommend Amyloban 3399 (big thread about it here)

I love both supplements. I’ve been on Amyloban for months, and I noticeably decline when I stop.

The Daily Essential Nutrients I’ve been on for 8-9 days now, and it is reducing what is left of my schizophrenia in significant chunks every day. My voices are getting quieter, my brain inflammation is getting softer, and life is getting more enjoyable. I’m feeling more grounded by the day.

oh god the supplements, just eat steak bread potatoes coupled with alcohol and a couple packs of smokes, yall will be much better off, SZ or a normal… oh on edit, flood it all in butter of course … I am a superior cook, I cook my wife a full dinner every weeknight, got a kick ass induction top

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@GSSP, if there was an “LOL” option, I would click on it. This comment made me laugh

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I would definitely speak to her doctor about these symptoms because if she is on medications now these issues should be getting better for her and if they’re not then adjustments might need to be made. Just my thoughts.

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@Sweetpea as I recall your daughter was last diagnosed as SZA which can have a sleep disorder component. I have trouble sleeping most of the time, and my solution is sleeping separately when I can to avoid waking people up bumping around. I mainly wake up in the middle of the night with racing thoughts. I no longer have paranoia.

I’m unclear why none of you get much sleep in this arrangement. And if so, why do it? Does it make you or your daughter feel any better even if neither of you (or your husband) sleep? Does your daughter keep you up, or does the separation from your husband cause an issue?

I think I’ve asked you to brainstorm with your daughter as to what would make her feel safe, and the security cameras may be a step toward that. What does she do in the hospital? I recall she had issues with her safety there too. I know I had a roommate when I was hospitalized, maybe that’s what she’s used to. Maybe separate beds in the same room would step her away from this or an intercom or panic buzzer may help.

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@Maggotbrane. My husband has severe back problems, plus sleep apnea…so he does not sleep well in her bed. In spite of that, he feels like I would get better sleep if I sleep in my own bed. When she sleeps with me she is up and down all night going to the bathroom until the early morning. She will ask if I hear what she is hearing. On the flip side, even when she sleeps in her own bed, she will wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me that she has heard something. It is a bit unnerving to wake up with someone standing right on the side of you. Tonight, I was going to ask her to try and sleep in her own bed …but before I could she had already asked my husband to sleep with me. I think he just caves in because she is so scared. We just can’t seem to get to a stable place.

We did ask my daughter what would help her feel safe, and the camera’s were her suggestion. The other thing is the insistence that my husband have a gun on hand at night. We also keep padlocks on the gates. I don’t think there is much else we can do without feeling like we are in a total prison ourselves.

The last time we saw the doctor they had applied to the ACT program for her. It is a special team of people (nurses, case workers, etc.) that will come to my home for her visits. I believe they would come 3-5 times a week. We are still waiting to hear if she has been approved for that. I am thinking that extra support would help.

Thanks so much for your response…

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@Catherine. I will definitely update the doctor on her next visit…which is soon. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond

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@GSSP. Thank you so much for your response. It helps to know others have experienced this same dilemma :blush:

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@Sweetpea I understand about the back problems, I also have GERD so I’m particular where I sleep too. So far, the living room couch is best for me.

Have you considered a white noise generator or a fan for your daughter to run at night? I bought one after seeing one at a psychiatrist’s office and used it at work to drown out background conversations. It’s a mechanical affair with an enclosed fan with tuning vents. There are also electronic versions and smart phone apps, but the mechanical one works better for me. Whether this is an effective approach depends on if your daughter is misperceiving existing sounds or directly hallucinating them. I rarely hear distinct or clear voices, so sometimes it’s hard to tell if they are internal or not. But drowning out background noise helps regardless.

@Maggotbrane. We already have fans running in my room. The voices seem to be hallucinations…so extra noise does not seem to help. Thanks for that suggestion though :blush:

@naturallycured. Thank you so much for your response. I will research the information you have provided.

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I know this might sound silly, but maybe treat it as if she were a young child that you are training to sleep on her own. Make her sleep in her own bed. If she has issues, then you go to her room and stay with her until she falls asleep. If she wakes up and comes to get you, take her back to her room and stay with her again until she Falls asleep. This is helping her to know that her room is a safe place and you are there if she needs you. But also that she is going to sleep in her room and not displace both of you. You might need to do this several times before it works.

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My son has a few supplements he takes, he isn’t trying to cure his schizophrenia with supplements anymore, he just does it for various health concerns - I don’t think he needs them, but they are not anything way out there, so I let it be.

I also cook dinner for my son most evenings - he goes on and off different food preferences based on some of his unusual ideas - I adapt along with that, but also just try to provide him healthy variety. I think that’s whats best for anybody no matter what their mental health status!

He has gone thru jags of purchasing cookbooks for me, and I was getting so many. I finally put them all on shelves at his house and told him - look thru them, find a recipe each week for me to try out. That has been a nice way for him to try some new things and for me to learn some new dishes and cooking techniques!

Good eating to all of us!

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@Katee. Your suggestion is not silly at all. We have tried a similar approach…starting the day telling her she needs to sleep in her bed. And while it is daylight, it seems like that will work. But by the time night comes…she gets more and more anxious and paranoid…panicked. It then does a not even feel possible to let her be alone. Typically she does not settle down until 1:00 am. Thank you for your encouragement…we will continue to try and stay the course.

So what I’m hearing is the root fear is that malevolent forces will come under cover of darkness and cause her harm. Left to my own devices I might prefer to be awake during the night and sleep during the day, in fact I did this in my college days for month-long stretches. I’d always thought it was because I preferred to be awake when there was less stimulation. Can she sleep during the day? I’m not suggesting this as a long term solution, just trying to pin down her concerns. Did something traumatic (real or imagined) happen to her at night? I recall she had a possible PTSD diagnosis for a while.

@Maggotbrane. I am not aware of anything that happened at night that would be triggering this. Every time I ask her about what is “triggering” her fear, she always shares something that is not real. While nights are much worse, there is a lot of paranoia during the daytime. She has gotten to the point that she doesn’t want to be left alone. Daytime sleeping is not an option.